diffusion.
i am sitting comfortably in my own room, writing this entry. my stomach is still insanely insatiable. where has my appetite gone?
three weeks. it took me three miserable weeks to realise that things changed a lot ever since i stepped into uni. i've been contemplating a lot lately. mainly maybe because i was at home 24/7 doing nothing but staring at the ceiling while lying down on my bed. it's scary when you were thinking of something and then it leads to something else and then leads to another thing. digressing from the gist. yeah that's it. and then you'll get a new gist to think about. i wonder a lot. i wonder about the outcomes, i wonder about the future, i wonder about the 'happy' ending of each story im writing along through my entire life on earth. im afraid of formidable obstacles. the 'what if's especially. somehow i've tried to be an optimist when i know well enough that im a 101% pessimist. 'it will all be okay' is just another phrase people use to tell others when they're trying to be positive when they themselves know, they're not sure about that. it's what you call a pleasant phrase for the ears. yeah. it's only good for the ears. but what about what you think? i don't think people would take it seriously but somehow it calms the soul. the ways of life is indeed inscrutable. we have people with sick/weird minds, we have unexpected fate, we have just about everything that could fit into the brains of the modern day humans, that they put into action. ahh the future is going to be crazy i tell you.
mom's leaving for maliau tomorrow. right till wednesday.
sigh.
three weeks. it took me three miserable weeks to realise that things changed a lot ever since i stepped into uni. i've been contemplating a lot lately. mainly maybe because i was at home 24/7 doing nothing but staring at the ceiling while lying down on my bed. it's scary when you were thinking of something and then it leads to something else and then leads to another thing. digressing from the gist. yeah that's it. and then you'll get a new gist to think about. i wonder a lot. i wonder about the outcomes, i wonder about the future, i wonder about the 'happy' ending of each story im writing along through my entire life on earth. im afraid of formidable obstacles. the 'what if's especially. somehow i've tried to be an optimist when i know well enough that im a 101% pessimist. 'it will all be okay' is just another phrase people use to tell others when they're trying to be positive when they themselves know, they're not sure about that. it's what you call a pleasant phrase for the ears. yeah. it's only good for the ears. but what about what you think? i don't think people would take it seriously but somehow it calms the soul. the ways of life is indeed inscrutable. we have people with sick/weird minds, we have unexpected fate, we have just about everything that could fit into the brains of the modern day humans, that they put into action. ahh the future is going to be crazy i tell you.
mom's leaving for maliau tomorrow. right till wednesday.
sigh.