Climbing my way out
So with an increased dose of meds, some sunshine, some enjoyable time with friends, and a break from Tai - I'm starting to pull myself out of the anxiety hole.
Tai and Tom went back East to visit Judy and Richard, and Judy's dad for a few days. They were gone from Thursday until this Tuesday, which was pretty awesome for me. I had a little bit of ambivalence about it in the beginning, but it didn't take long for me to dive right in to reading, napping, writing, watching TV, and enjoying complete un-toddler-interrupted adult conversation. I went out to eat at adult restaurants. I paid no attention to what time it was. I lived on my schedule, and it was so very nice.
Re-entry was a little difficult for all of us, even though we were all happy to be back together again. When I picked up Tom and Tai at the airport, Tai caught sight of me and ran right to me and we shared a big hug. (It even took a couple of hours for him to ask for boobie, so I know I'm not just good for nursing. Hee.) Poor kidlet came back with pink eye and jet lag, so we've been a little stir crazy around the house. I'm also trying to wean him, and while he didn't nurse at all while he was gone (needless to say), he's not been able to completely stop now that he's home. I'm having a hard time cutting him off while he's sick, too. We've got it down to nap, once or twice at night, and maybe once in the early morning. I'm not even sure he's actually getting milk. I didn't pump at all while he was gone (except for a few times to keep from exploding) and I'm pretty sure that there's hardly any milk in there. I just don't want him to get me started again.
Long story short - I'm starting to feel more like myself rather than someone who wants to skulk around and hide in corners. I'm hoping that I'll be able to rub two thoughts together and come up with an interesting journal entry soon.
Tai and Tom went back East to visit Judy and Richard, and Judy's dad for a few days. They were gone from Thursday until this Tuesday, which was pretty awesome for me. I had a little bit of ambivalence about it in the beginning, but it didn't take long for me to dive right in to reading, napping, writing, watching TV, and enjoying complete un-toddler-interrupted adult conversation. I went out to eat at adult restaurants. I paid no attention to what time it was. I lived on my schedule, and it was so very nice.
Re-entry was a little difficult for all of us, even though we were all happy to be back together again. When I picked up Tom and Tai at the airport, Tai caught sight of me and ran right to me and we shared a big hug. (It even took a couple of hours for him to ask for boobie, so I know I'm not just good for nursing. Hee.) Poor kidlet came back with pink eye and jet lag, so we've been a little stir crazy around the house. I'm also trying to wean him, and while he didn't nurse at all while he was gone (needless to say), he's not been able to completely stop now that he's home. I'm having a hard time cutting him off while he's sick, too. We've got it down to nap, once or twice at night, and maybe once in the early morning. I'm not even sure he's actually getting milk. I didn't pump at all while he was gone (except for a few times to keep from exploding) and I'm pretty sure that there's hardly any milk in there. I just don't want him to get me started again.
Long story short - I'm starting to feel more like myself rather than someone who wants to skulk around and hide in corners. I'm hoping that I'll be able to rub two thoughts together and come up with an interesting journal entry soon.