Family
My brother has been in town for two and a half days and we're already bordering on irritating each other. One of the things I'd like to do in my quest to become an adult is to learn how to hang out with him without feeling like we're about 14 and 10 again. (And maybe that's over-estimating the ages we act.)
Generally we get along pretty well. We love each other, without a doubt, and I know that no matter what happens in my life, he has my back. When Tom broke up with me briefly back in my senior year of college and broke my heart, Quin offered to drive up to Rhode Island to kick his ass. He was mostly serious about the offer, and if I had said yes he would have. My grandma used to tell stories about how Quin and I would be fighting like cats and dogs, but if anyone else intervened, we'd unite and get mad at them instead.
But sometimes he drives me up the wall. Whenever Mom asked him to do something to give her a hand while preparing for Christmas, he'd complain and half the time not do it. She asked him not to poke one of her candles so the wax wouldn't get on the good table cloth (yes, a tiny bit of an anal request but that's neither here nor there) and he pouted for 20 minutes. He was nice enough to hang out with me when I visited twirlgrrl and Blue today, but he did complain about not 'doing' anything. (Don't worry, L - he had fun in the Haight later. I just would have rather hung out at your place longer.)
Part of the problem is we're both into different things. He'd be perfectly happy walking through the Mission or the Haight for the millionth time, but Golden Gate park is boring. He wants to go out to bars at night, preferably with Tom and/or me, but we're not much on the being out after 10 thing now that we have Tai. Mom isn't so willing to help us to strike a compromise, always telling us to make a plan. I suppose since we're both adults we shouldn't need our mother to run interference, but it does help.
The other problem is my family seems to be in the habit of spending *all* of our time together when we're visiting each other. Like if I don't join them at the bar or a movie I'm a total kill-joy and I'm bringing the whole thing down, and sometimes Quin refuses to participate altogether. So I get guilted into doing something I don't want to do and instead of just saying that I agreed to it, I get irritated. Wendy encourages me to learn how to do it differently - reminding me that we can each do something we enjoy while letting someone else do something they enjoy. But it takes time to shift a dynamic.
I'd just like to make things smoother, because it ends up making holidays tiring and stressful. And when he's staying at our house it's a little too cozy. Or maybe I'm just tired because I have a baby.
Generally we get along pretty well. We love each other, without a doubt, and I know that no matter what happens in my life, he has my back. When Tom broke up with me briefly back in my senior year of college and broke my heart, Quin offered to drive up to Rhode Island to kick his ass. He was mostly serious about the offer, and if I had said yes he would have. My grandma used to tell stories about how Quin and I would be fighting like cats and dogs, but if anyone else intervened, we'd unite and get mad at them instead.
But sometimes he drives me up the wall. Whenever Mom asked him to do something to give her a hand while preparing for Christmas, he'd complain and half the time not do it. She asked him not to poke one of her candles so the wax wouldn't get on the good table cloth (yes, a tiny bit of an anal request but that's neither here nor there) and he pouted for 20 minutes. He was nice enough to hang out with me when I visited twirlgrrl and Blue today, but he did complain about not 'doing' anything. (Don't worry, L - he had fun in the Haight later. I just would have rather hung out at your place longer.)
Part of the problem is we're both into different things. He'd be perfectly happy walking through the Mission or the Haight for the millionth time, but Golden Gate park is boring. He wants to go out to bars at night, preferably with Tom and/or me, but we're not much on the being out after 10 thing now that we have Tai. Mom isn't so willing to help us to strike a compromise, always telling us to make a plan. I suppose since we're both adults we shouldn't need our mother to run interference, but it does help.
The other problem is my family seems to be in the habit of spending *all* of our time together when we're visiting each other. Like if I don't join them at the bar or a movie I'm a total kill-joy and I'm bringing the whole thing down, and sometimes Quin refuses to participate altogether. So I get guilted into doing something I don't want to do and instead of just saying that I agreed to it, I get irritated. Wendy encourages me to learn how to do it differently - reminding me that we can each do something we enjoy while letting someone else do something they enjoy. But it takes time to shift a dynamic.
I'd just like to make things smoother, because it ends up making holidays tiring and stressful. And when he's staying at our house it's a little too cozy. Or maybe I'm just tired because I have a baby.