(no subject)
I think I'm really just floundering at life. I feel a bit lost and a bit worried, I'm suprised that I care so much about Armand still when I've never met and hardly speak to him anymore...but I do. *shrugs* How could I, I don't know, but eh, I think I tend to care about a lot of things that most ppl would laugh at me over. Oh well. I still do and whatever the outcome is or if they continue to try speaking to me or not, I only wish the best *nods*. I do miss it though and I think its one of those things I will look back on in life, this period of my life, and always know that it was my own personal deleqence that cut him and more then a few others off. The only thing I can do is try to keep living and to learn from it...but i really wish I could change it sometimes, but then again...I guess thats how I'm a romantic.
This weekend I took a break. I was really feeling overly worked up and upset and I was starting to feel like I was going to do something really dangerous to myself so I took a retreat. I went up to Reno to meet a friend of mine and I did nothing but talk to them, live, and breath. I came to the conculsions that I need to get back to what my basics were and to understand that my physical, emotional, chemical, and mental health are all up to me and I choose how I respond to things. It was a huge release to spend that time with them and I'm very glad that I did it.
In other news I also think that it's time I stop surpressing things I actualy want and need. It is just me in this life, as has been proven again and again, and I will try my damndest to make it work the right way.
let it go...let me go...darling I forgive you after all...anything is better then to be alone...and in the end I guess I had to fall...always find my face among the ashes...I cant hold onto me...wonder whats wrong with me...Lithium...dont want lock me up inside...Lithium...dont want to forget how it feels...Lithium....stay in love with me...I am going to let it go...
-Alice
ps....everything is blank...so utterly blank...guess it wasn't "free" after all...
-A.
This weekend I took a break. I was really feeling overly worked up and upset and I was starting to feel like I was going to do something really dangerous to myself so I took a retreat. I went up to Reno to meet a friend of mine and I did nothing but talk to them, live, and breath. I came to the conculsions that I need to get back to what my basics were and to understand that my physical, emotional, chemical, and mental health are all up to me and I choose how I respond to things. It was a huge release to spend that time with them and I'm very glad that I did it.
In other news I also think that it's time I stop surpressing things I actualy want and need. It is just me in this life, as has been proven again and again, and I will try my damndest to make it work the right way.
let it go...let me go...darling I forgive you after all...anything is better then to be alone...and in the end I guess I had to fall...always find my face among the ashes...I cant hold onto me...wonder whats wrong with me...Lithium...dont want lock me up inside...Lithium...dont want to forget how it feels...Lithium....stay in love with me...I am going to let it go...
-Alice
ps....everything is blank...so utterly blank...guess it wasn't "free" after all...
-A.