Doubt it darling
You're not going to contact me are you?
Or you'll cancel.
You don't want me; and you think i'm stupid and you may as well draw me along so I don't try and kill myself again. You think I'm a phsyco, don't you?
Well I'm not; I'm interested in you; that i'll be happy to tell you. But if you think I'm stupid you're wrong. I know what you want. I was stupid before; but that's allowed; i was sad, i'd lost a huge part of my life and i wanted to die. I should have known that it was too good to be true to find someone else that wanted me in the same year i lost the only person that was ever really interested in me.
I wanted to see you to work out exactly what you meant. i'm fed up of thinking about you all the time and wondering wheather you sincierly liked me or not. I'm sick of going through those two weeks in my head trying to work out what they meant. The stupid thing is i swing between thinking I want you, or just wanting your attention; your body. You said you didn't want to hurt me, but by not contacting me, that's exaclty what you did. I wanted to tell you it wasn't on; that I wasn't sure what i wanted; just as much as you.
Just see me. I don't want your love; i don't even want a gaurantee that something will happen in the future. I want to regain my control of the situation. I want to know what you thought you were doing. I want you to see just how brave, intelligent and independent I am. And if you don't want me for that, then I know that I can stop wasting energy on you.
I am brave, like lee said. I'm worth having. I'm different, I'm not like anyone else. I'm brave old, mad old, kind old me.
Or you'll cancel.
You don't want me; and you think i'm stupid and you may as well draw me along so I don't try and kill myself again. You think I'm a phsyco, don't you?
Well I'm not; I'm interested in you; that i'll be happy to tell you. But if you think I'm stupid you're wrong. I know what you want. I was stupid before; but that's allowed; i was sad, i'd lost a huge part of my life and i wanted to die. I should have known that it was too good to be true to find someone else that wanted me in the same year i lost the only person that was ever really interested in me.
I wanted to see you to work out exactly what you meant. i'm fed up of thinking about you all the time and wondering wheather you sincierly liked me or not. I'm sick of going through those two weeks in my head trying to work out what they meant. The stupid thing is i swing between thinking I want you, or just wanting your attention; your body. You said you didn't want to hurt me, but by not contacting me, that's exaclty what you did. I wanted to tell you it wasn't on; that I wasn't sure what i wanted; just as much as you.
Just see me. I don't want your love; i don't even want a gaurantee that something will happen in the future. I want to regain my control of the situation. I want to know what you thought you were doing. I want you to see just how brave, intelligent and independent I am. And if you don't want me for that, then I know that I can stop wasting energy on you.
I am brave, like lee said. I'm worth having. I'm different, I'm not like anyone else. I'm brave old, mad old, kind old me.