"We Ought Not Die Continues" to Deliver
All that was missing, Chloe thought, were the cameras and a director to yell "Action!" and she was sure that Roland had cameras hidden somewhere in the small private "clinic" where she was "having Clark's baby." Considering how real everything looked, Lex must have given Roland a blank check.
"Would you please stop pacing? I'm getting dizzy." Chloe complained to Wally who was moving rather rapidly back and forth across the room talking on his JLU communicator.
"Sorry," he shrugged and sat down in the chair by her side trying to avoid all of the special equipment. "Clark and Lex's plane just touched down at the airport."
Chloe grimaced. She shifted on the bed, trying to get comfortable with the weight of the massive special effect molded to her body.
"What's wrong?" Wally frowned.
Chloe let out a cleansing breath then answered "Contraction."
"Contraction? But your not --"
"Roland thought of everything, Wally. This suit is simulating labor."
A craggy faced man in hospital scrubs appeared at the door of her room.
"Hey, Princess. Are you ready to get this show on the road?" he asked in a distinct Australian accent.
"What do you say, Wally? Want to watch?" Chloe teased The Flash.
"Ewwww!"
*****
The smallest of the LexCorp jets taxied to a stop outside the tiny airport where it was met by Lex's private security forces and a representative of the island's governor.
"Miss Sullivan was taken to delivery just five minutes ago," Robert, the head of the security detail, reported as Lex, Clark and Martha deplaned.
"We will get you to the clinic in time to see your child born, Mr. Luthor-Kent," The governor promised Clark in exceeding ingratiating tones .
"It wouldn't be possible for me to miss Connor's birth."
"Connor? You know that the child is a boy?" the governor asked, eager to know some bit of gossip about the Luthor-Kents.
"Yes, we were eager to know as soon as we knew the pregnancy was viable." Lex answered, deciding to allow the man this tidbit of knowledge. "Can we go to the clinic now?" He cast one look back over his shoulder at the plane and caught a glimpse of grey hair at one of the jet's windows.
They were escorted to the clinic in the governor's new limousine which looked extremely out of place on the island. Lex reminded himself to look into the man's finances after they returned home.
"If there is anything else that I can do for you, please let me know." The governor told Lex.
"Oh, I will." Lex turned away from the obsequious man, dismissing him. The security men blocked the governor from entering the clinic.
*****
"What are you doing down there, Roland?" Chloe peered down the examination table to where Roland was between her knees arranging her feet on stirrups and draping surgical linens.
"Setting up the delivery shot."
"You are not filming this delivery. It's a fake!"
"It's a special effect." A woman in surgical scrubs appeared in a transporter beam carrying a tiny baby. "Chloe Sullivan, I presume?"
"That beaming effect was more impressive on Star Trek." Roland muttered in annoyance.
"And you are?" Chloe asked.
"Helga Harding. I'd like to introduce you to Connor Robert Luthor-Kent." She placed the baby in Chloe's arms.
"He's beautiful!"
"And he needs to be covered in this purple and white goo for the cameras." Roland tossed a bottle of liquid to Helga. She took Conner away until his big moment.
"Ick!" Chloe grimaced.
"Don't worry. I've worked with Rollie before. The film will make the delivery look completely natural."
"He isn't going to put Connor inside this belly is he?"
"Of course not. The 'baby' is already in the belly."
"There's something alive inside this thing?"
"Of course not. It's just a robot." Roland assured her from beneath the linens.
"Roland!"
*****
Clark arrived just then to stop Chloe from killing Roland for trying to point a camera between her legs. As it was, she had to endure another hour of simulated labor. Lex and Martha came in briefly to give her moral support. Clark gave her pointers on her performance.
"I'm never having sex with you again!" She threatened.
"Our experience with a Petrie dish doesn't exactly count as sex, Chloe. I'm not sure it gives you the right to emasculate me during labor."
Chloe glared at him.
"I'll cut Lex's balls off."
"Them's fighting words Chloe!"
When Roland decreed that Chloe should push, Helga brought a tray of instruments for "the doctor" to use.
Clark helped Chloe sit up and push.
"That's it, Chloe. Breathe. Once more. Push."
Chloe simulated the push as she'd been instructed and she heard Connor cry.
"It's a boy." Roland said unnecessarily as he pulled Connor out from under the surgical drape. He was covered in the goo and he had what appeared to be an umbilical cord attached.
"Would you like to cut the cord, Daddy?" Roland teasingly handed Clark a pair of scissors.
'This is embarrassing,' Connor sent.
'It's all for a good cause, sweetheart,' Clark answered as he took the scissors and snipped the clamped off cord.
He took Connor and held him for a moment for the camera and then let the 'nurse' take him to be cleaned up and checked over.
Roland promised to have the footage of the 'delivery' delivered to Lex in a few hours. Lex would make sure that appropriate cuts were leaked to the press.
*****
A little while later Clark brought Connor into the waiting room wrapped in one of his own blankets.
"Wally will be taking care of Chloe. They are going to stay on the island for a couple of weeks while Chloe 'convalesces.' What say we take this little fellow home now?"
"The press is out there," Martha warned.
"I know. Connor's ready for his close up." Clark smiled.
Clark led the way out of the clinic and into a sea of reporters.
"Would you please stop pacing? I'm getting dizzy." Chloe complained to Wally who was moving rather rapidly back and forth across the room talking on his JLU communicator.
"Sorry," he shrugged and sat down in the chair by her side trying to avoid all of the special equipment. "Clark and Lex's plane just touched down at the airport."
Chloe grimaced. She shifted on the bed, trying to get comfortable with the weight of the massive special effect molded to her body.
"What's wrong?" Wally frowned.
Chloe let out a cleansing breath then answered "Contraction."
"Contraction? But your not --"
"Roland thought of everything, Wally. This suit is simulating labor."
A craggy faced man in hospital scrubs appeared at the door of her room.
"Hey, Princess. Are you ready to get this show on the road?" he asked in a distinct Australian accent.
"What do you say, Wally? Want to watch?" Chloe teased The Flash.
"Ewwww!"
*****
The smallest of the LexCorp jets taxied to a stop outside the tiny airport where it was met by Lex's private security forces and a representative of the island's governor.
"Miss Sullivan was taken to delivery just five minutes ago," Robert, the head of the security detail, reported as Lex, Clark and Martha deplaned.
"We will get you to the clinic in time to see your child born, Mr. Luthor-Kent," The governor promised Clark in exceeding ingratiating tones .
"It wouldn't be possible for me to miss Connor's birth."
"Connor? You know that the child is a boy?" the governor asked, eager to know some bit of gossip about the Luthor-Kents.
"Yes, we were eager to know as soon as we knew the pregnancy was viable." Lex answered, deciding to allow the man this tidbit of knowledge. "Can we go to the clinic now?" He cast one look back over his shoulder at the plane and caught a glimpse of grey hair at one of the jet's windows.
They were escorted to the clinic in the governor's new limousine which looked extremely out of place on the island. Lex reminded himself to look into the man's finances after they returned home.
"If there is anything else that I can do for you, please let me know." The governor told Lex.
"Oh, I will." Lex turned away from the obsequious man, dismissing him. The security men blocked the governor from entering the clinic.
*****
"What are you doing down there, Roland?" Chloe peered down the examination table to where Roland was between her knees arranging her feet on stirrups and draping surgical linens.
"Setting up the delivery shot."
"You are not filming this delivery. It's a fake!"
"It's a special effect." A woman in surgical scrubs appeared in a transporter beam carrying a tiny baby. "Chloe Sullivan, I presume?"
"That beaming effect was more impressive on Star Trek." Roland muttered in annoyance.
"And you are?" Chloe asked.
"Helga Harding. I'd like to introduce you to Connor Robert Luthor-Kent." She placed the baby in Chloe's arms.
"He's beautiful!"
"And he needs to be covered in this purple and white goo for the cameras." Roland tossed a bottle of liquid to Helga. She took Conner away until his big moment.
"Ick!" Chloe grimaced.
"Don't worry. I've worked with Rollie before. The film will make the delivery look completely natural."
"He isn't going to put Connor inside this belly is he?"
"Of course not. The 'baby' is already in the belly."
"There's something alive inside this thing?"
"Of course not. It's just a robot." Roland assured her from beneath the linens.
"Roland!"
*****
Clark arrived just then to stop Chloe from killing Roland for trying to point a camera between her legs. As it was, she had to endure another hour of simulated labor. Lex and Martha came in briefly to give her moral support. Clark gave her pointers on her performance.
"I'm never having sex with you again!" She threatened.
"Our experience with a Petrie dish doesn't exactly count as sex, Chloe. I'm not sure it gives you the right to emasculate me during labor."
Chloe glared at him.
"I'll cut Lex's balls off."
"Them's fighting words Chloe!"
When Roland decreed that Chloe should push, Helga brought a tray of instruments for "the doctor" to use.
Clark helped Chloe sit up and push.
"That's it, Chloe. Breathe. Once more. Push."
Chloe simulated the push as she'd been instructed and she heard Connor cry.
"It's a boy." Roland said unnecessarily as he pulled Connor out from under the surgical drape. He was covered in the goo and he had what appeared to be an umbilical cord attached.
"Would you like to cut the cord, Daddy?" Roland teasingly handed Clark a pair of scissors.
'This is embarrassing,' Connor sent.
'It's all for a good cause, sweetheart,' Clark answered as he took the scissors and snipped the clamped off cord.
He took Connor and held him for a moment for the camera and then let the 'nurse' take him to be cleaned up and checked over.
Roland promised to have the footage of the 'delivery' delivered to Lex in a few hours. Lex would make sure that appropriate cuts were leaked to the press.
*****
A little while later Clark brought Connor into the waiting room wrapped in one of his own blankets.
"Wally will be taking care of Chloe. They are going to stay on the island for a couple of weeks while Chloe 'convalesces.' What say we take this little fellow home now?"
"The press is out there," Martha warned.
"I know. Connor's ready for his close up." Clark smiled.
Clark led the way out of the clinic and into a sea of reporters.