(no subject)
i feel like no one likes me. i feel like the few that ever did are talking behind my back. i feel like most dont think about me at all. i feel like centrelink are spying on me. i keep reading their multiple letters. i feel guilty. i feel anxious. why do they send me the same letter three times. is there something i should be seeing but shouldnt. am i seeing what i think i am. im trying to brush the thoughts aside. im trying to tell myself that this is the paranoia. i cant stop grating my teeth. i cant even brush my teeth. everything takes too much thought and my thoughts are so busy. a trillion miles an hour. why do people think im horrible. why when i care about them. when i think about them. can feel they are good and beautiful. why cant they see that in me too.