Thoughts thoughts thoughts
Why is it so easy to forget about this?
Bad things happen I write. Good things happen...I walk away with them.
If this journal had a voice other than my own. It would get mad at me for only visiting when I needed something from it.
Other than a grief mop I do not allow any other function to be provided by this thing. I have tried before happy writing doesn't work.
Thursday I was fired from my job. I am kind of wrecked by it. I have funds to carry me through.
I am only worried about the next time. And why I got fired.
My attitude is in the shitter. I have lost interest in things I liked before. This is depression. Jen is worried that I could be letting things slip and it hurts her to see me like this. I need to take things slow. I am reorganizing my priorities to fit this current circumstance. It is hard to do that with a dizzy head. Please bear with me.
I am trying to keep my head up. I go about my day taking care of this and that. For now nothing seems so satisfying as sleeping away the pain. It is a temptation I can live with out.
I am searching for more work. I am looking into internships that can lead me into other industries. I will graduate soon so this seems to be an appropriate method for me. Friends have been kind with their words. They tell me that I will find something better, but I don't feel that way.
Feelings. God I don't need those right now.
Don't worry I have only thought about jumping out of a window a couple times since last Thursday. Thankfully the windows up here seem permanently shut, and I live in a basement. I guess I will have to live through this like all the other times before.
I have been off-putting lately. I totally don't know how to handle people right now. I try and avoid them if at all possible. I don't have anything terribly nice to say anyway. I want to take this time to apologize to anyone I have neglected or offended. I hate this part about me, and hating it makes it worse to do. Just bear with me. I need to be stronger.
Other than that I have finals to study for, so I will be getting to that presently.
H-out
Bad things happen I write. Good things happen...I walk away with them.
If this journal had a voice other than my own. It would get mad at me for only visiting when I needed something from it.
Other than a grief mop I do not allow any other function to be provided by this thing. I have tried before happy writing doesn't work.
Thursday I was fired from my job. I am kind of wrecked by it. I have funds to carry me through.
I am only worried about the next time. And why I got fired.
My attitude is in the shitter. I have lost interest in things I liked before. This is depression. Jen is worried that I could be letting things slip and it hurts her to see me like this. I need to take things slow. I am reorganizing my priorities to fit this current circumstance. It is hard to do that with a dizzy head. Please bear with me.
I am trying to keep my head up. I go about my day taking care of this and that. For now nothing seems so satisfying as sleeping away the pain. It is a temptation I can live with out.
I am searching for more work. I am looking into internships that can lead me into other industries. I will graduate soon so this seems to be an appropriate method for me. Friends have been kind with their words. They tell me that I will find something better, but I don't feel that way.
Feelings. God I don't need those right now.
Don't worry I have only thought about jumping out of a window a couple times since last Thursday. Thankfully the windows up here seem permanently shut, and I live in a basement. I guess I will have to live through this like all the other times before.
I have been off-putting lately. I totally don't know how to handle people right now. I try and avoid them if at all possible. I don't have anything terribly nice to say anyway. I want to take this time to apologize to anyone I have neglected or offended. I hate this part about me, and hating it makes it worse to do. Just bear with me. I need to be stronger.
Other than that I have finals to study for, so I will be getting to that presently.
H-out