this is my life.
i can believe things that are true and i can believe things that are not true and i can believe things where no one knows whether they’re true or not.
listen - i believe that people are perfectible, that people will always be imperfect, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our women and water. i believe that the future sucks and that the future rocks and i believe that one day white buffalo woman is going to come back and kick everyone’s ass. i believe that men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and believe that the decline in good sex in america is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. i believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and they’re better than the alternative. i believe that california is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes and that florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. i believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our residence to dirt and disease so that one day we’ll all be wiped out by the common cold like the aliens in war of the worlds. i believe that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a previous life i was a siberian shaman. i believe in an empty universe of casual chaos and sheer blind luck. i believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life happens while you’re alive, and that you might as well just lie back and enjoy it.
listen - i believe that people are perfectible, that people will always be imperfect, that knowledge is infinite, that the world is run by secret banking cartels and is visited by aliens on a regular basis, nice ones that look like wrinkledy lemurs and bad ones who mutilate cattle and want our women and water. i believe that the future sucks and that the future rocks and i believe that one day white buffalo woman is going to come back and kick everyone’s ass. i believe that men are just overgrown boys with deep problems communicating and believe that the decline in good sex in america is coincident with the decline in drive-in movie theaters from state to state. i believe that all politicians are unprincipled crooks and they’re better than the alternative. i believe that california is going to sink into the sea when the big one comes and that florida is going to dissolve into madness and alligators and toxic waste. i believe that antibacterial soap is destroying our residence to dirt and disease so that one day we’ll all be wiped out by the common cold like the aliens in war of the worlds. i believe that jade is dried dragon sperm, and that thousands of years ago in a previous life i was a siberian shaman. i believe in an empty universe of casual chaos and sheer blind luck. i believe that life is a game, that life is a cruel joke, and that life happens while you’re alive, and that you might as well just lie back and enjoy it.