Just When the Memory Leaves
AH, what a broken heart can do. Just when you think you are over the thought of somone...a memory comes flooding back and there you are, in the same place, in that same situation that you told yourself you never would be in again. Has anyone seen the movie Swingers? I absolutely love that movie because it is so true on so many levels. When you start caring deeply for someone and the relationship end for whatever reason, one person gets over it easier than the other. And once that other person starts to feel whole again, WHAM, the other person starts calling, IM'ing or emailing. And all of a sudden they forget why they broke your heart in the first place.
I am at that crossroads in my life. Just when I thought I was getting my life back together....here he comes trying to win his place back into my heart. Does he forget why he broke my heart? He was one of those guys that said all things this hopeless romantic wanted to hear. Our first kiss was magical. Standing outside of a busy building, not a care in the world, breaking down all walls I have put up because I thought he was the "one". After he stomped on my heart and left me outside in the rain crying, he didn't even call or talk to me for a few months. When I would see him out, it was like I never existed. Then all the insecurities come back and all of a sudden you are back in jr. high waiting for someone to not pick you last for a game of dodgeball.
My girl Faith Hill's new album has a great song on it that kind of sums it all up....
I swear you looked right through me, but I'm still living with your goodbye
And you're just going on with your life
How can you just walk on by, without one tear in your eye
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me
Maybe thats your way of dealing with the pain
Fogetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all
So now that I say my final goodbye to him...he will never be able to crawl back into my life. And when he told me that he "can't live without me" I just said..."I am sure you will find someone to help you deal with the pain." And with that, I hungup the phone and never looked back!