(no subject)
so last night was yet another reminder of why i suck so much at life. my heart hurts todays and im really upset that i let someone so awesome slip through my fingers. pride is a horrible, ugly thing. i want nothing more than to go back in time and do things over...
(short summary)
l
l
V
basically i knew the raddest girl ever. perfect for me in every way. we were friends but i started to have feelings for her. she wasnt really into it, so i just stopped hanging out with. a few weeks went by and i guess for her things changed. well then she started to really be into me. i thought it more important to feel like a rockstar and blow her off, than go after what i really truly wanted. then we lost contact because she moved to ireland for the summer. and when she came back she met some awesome guy. i cant be too upset. when you dont talk to some for like 7 months you cant expect them to stay single. but regadless it still leaves aaron... out of the picture.
and it was the small things that eileen does that bum me out so much; her sarcasm and wittiness, the way she looks you right in the eyes when she talks, how she tugs your shirt and puts her hand on your face so you can hear her at a show, how she sings to me "boys like you are a dime a dozen" but doesnt even mean it, how she talks about all the good times we had like she really misses them, and how she says that the thing she used to love more than anything is watching me on stage and knowing that the whole time i was staring/thinking about her cause she was doing the same. i fucked up, i fucked up bad.
i have a new philosophy. my guard is officially let down. love and relationships is something that needs to be jumped into head first. getting hurt is part of life, and reminds us that we are alive. i never again what to look back and think to myself about what "could" have been.
REALLY FUCKIN BROKEN HEARTED,
AP
ps. sorry for to emo journals in a row. good stuff is happening this weekend. it will be better
(short summary)
l
l
V
basically i knew the raddest girl ever. perfect for me in every way. we were friends but i started to have feelings for her. she wasnt really into it, so i just stopped hanging out with. a few weeks went by and i guess for her things changed. well then she started to really be into me. i thought it more important to feel like a rockstar and blow her off, than go after what i really truly wanted. then we lost contact because she moved to ireland for the summer. and when she came back she met some awesome guy. i cant be too upset. when you dont talk to some for like 7 months you cant expect them to stay single. but regadless it still leaves aaron... out of the picture.
and it was the small things that eileen does that bum me out so much; her sarcasm and wittiness, the way she looks you right in the eyes when she talks, how she tugs your shirt and puts her hand on your face so you can hear her at a show, how she sings to me "boys like you are a dime a dozen" but doesnt even mean it, how she talks about all the good times we had like she really misses them, and how she says that the thing she used to love more than anything is watching me on stage and knowing that the whole time i was staring/thinking about her cause she was doing the same. i fucked up, i fucked up bad.
i have a new philosophy. my guard is officially let down. love and relationships is something that needs to be jumped into head first. getting hurt is part of life, and reminds us that we are alive. i never again what to look back and think to myself about what "could" have been.
REALLY FUCKIN BROKEN HEARTED,
AP
ps. sorry for to emo journals in a row. good stuff is happening this weekend. it will be better