the funeral
The little girl she'd been hiding so well emerged;
quietly falling in the form of tears
as she stared at the box of sadness they worked so hard to polish.
But nobody knew how many times she'd watched him bleed before this;
how often she'd told him to stop,
and how much more often he'd notoriously lied;
promised it'd be the last time.
In return she'd promised to give everything.
And now she had what?
A list of boys who'd only half know her.
A final red rose to give him to take to the place he was going
without her.
She knew he was a liar;
always known he wouldn't cease the angry storm showing only on his skin
in the form of deep, pain decreasing slashes.
But she never knew he'd break the biggest oath of all...
the vow to stay.
Then, looking down the row of veiled faces,
she reddened with hate.
She loved him.
She housed his hemorrhaging arms while his father was gone
drinking away the rage his son had inherited.
It was her, and still she was left to remain.
No reward of ending happiness for wanting only the best for the love of her life.
She'd handed him everything to clot the wounds,
but he was no longer there to hold the gifts tight;
no longer able to apply pressure.
The choir began,
finalizing the requiem and confirming the feeling of emptiness in the pit of her stomach.
She was crushed by his mutilation
and the flow of her pain coming back at her from his lifeless body
was drowning her.
Clinging to every ounce of memory; good and bad,
in this moment described only as the pure destruction of the heart,
she realized in her last confession;
the love was real,
but costly,
and said goodbye.
RIP MRKJ AUGUST 12, 2005.
quietly falling in the form of tears
as she stared at the box of sadness they worked so hard to polish.
But nobody knew how many times she'd watched him bleed before this;
how often she'd told him to stop,
and how much more often he'd notoriously lied;
promised it'd be the last time.
In return she'd promised to give everything.
And now she had what?
A list of boys who'd only half know her.
A final red rose to give him to take to the place he was going
without her.
She knew he was a liar;
always known he wouldn't cease the angry storm showing only on his skin
in the form of deep, pain decreasing slashes.
But she never knew he'd break the biggest oath of all...
the vow to stay.
Then, looking down the row of veiled faces,
she reddened with hate.
She loved him.
She housed his hemorrhaging arms while his father was gone
drinking away the rage his son had inherited.
It was her, and still she was left to remain.
No reward of ending happiness for wanting only the best for the love of her life.
She'd handed him everything to clot the wounds,
but he was no longer there to hold the gifts tight;
no longer able to apply pressure.
The choir began,
finalizing the requiem and confirming the feeling of emptiness in the pit of her stomach.
She was crushed by his mutilation
and the flow of her pain coming back at her from his lifeless body
was drowning her.
Clinging to every ounce of memory; good and bad,
in this moment described only as the pure destruction of the heart,
she realized in her last confession;
the love was real,
but costly,
and said goodbye.
RIP MRKJ AUGUST 12, 2005.