ok...
today was so much better. things are finally going slightly my way. i'm still upset and worried about everyone that i love, but i suppose there's only so much i can do. as a friend, worrying, and making myself crazy, will only make things worse. if everyone else is losing it, i should try to be strong and let them know i'm here, not get all frazzled and freak myself out. i guess i'm stupid for thinking that EVERYONE should be ok and never have problems. wishful thinking got me burned again *tear*... the good news is i'm no longer having boy troubles lol. i finally settled on what i think is right. it'll hurt if it messes up and i know that, but this is a chance i'm taking for my own happiness. god... i hope it works.