(no subject)
OOC: Where is everyone? I know we've been quiet too, that's going to change! Is everyone still around?
Things have been going so wonderfully...though I think our time in New York is truly drawing to a close. We're talking of going to Hollywood now, and Orli wants to get his "House in the Hills". He likes how it sounds *chuckles* So, that's where (one of) our home is going to be I think...
Hopefully we can catch up with Viggo there, and with Bean if he's still around--Bean, Vig you up for some houseguests? If not, we'll just crash in a hotel. We're just being nomadic now, and enjoying it.
Things are going so well between Orli and I--aside from the occasional spats...which are almost expected between two felines living so closely together...the spats and my uncertainties about everything, that plague me when I'm not paying close enough attention. Plague me and try to sabotage me, though I do my best to not let them. So far I have succeeded.
I love him so much. That's not news though, is it? It seems you all knew that longer than he did. I've talked with my mother and sister both while we've been here, and things are better there--though not perfect. And I still refuse to talk to Hannes or deal with that. As far as I'm concerned there is no excuse or forgiveness for his attempt to drive off and hurt the person that means the most to me in my life.
So yes, I love him, more than anything and it's so amazing to finally be able to be open about that, to not worry about overstepping. He's always been mine in a way, but now I don't feel guilty stating that, reminding him of that.
We had an encounter when we first arrived--because we hadn't talked, hadn't been open enough. There have always been others in the equation that was us-no matter how much I hated it, I dealt with it because that was the price to keep him as I had. I had assumed when we admitted things, that would change. Orli hadn't really connected those two things...when I saw him kissing another at a club when we first arrived, I sort of lost it. I shattered every glass around me, thank god no one assumes immediately that it's psychic powers that make things happen. Orli just didnt' get it at first, but we talked and then he did...and now we know.
Nothing is harder than watching the one you love with someone else, when you're standing in the same room. How hard it used to be to lay in bed and feel him in the other room with someone else, so hard to feel that way and hide it--bury it so deep that he never saw more than a smile and support, to always be there when needed. And when I wasn't needed, to let myself fade a bit from the foreground to the back. I think I still have the instinct to do that, though I need to fight it--I have every right to stay where I am now. I don't have to watch all the goings on from a distance now.
For I love him. And he loves me. He is mine. I am his.
And we are off to LaLa land...
Things have been going so wonderfully...though I think our time in New York is truly drawing to a close. We're talking of going to Hollywood now, and Orli wants to get his "House in the Hills". He likes how it sounds *chuckles* So, that's where (one of) our home is going to be I think...
Hopefully we can catch up with Viggo there, and with Bean if he's still around--Bean, Vig you up for some houseguests? If not, we'll just crash in a hotel. We're just being nomadic now, and enjoying it.
Things are going so well between Orli and I--aside from the occasional spats...which are almost expected between two felines living so closely together...the spats and my uncertainties about everything, that plague me when I'm not paying close enough attention. Plague me and try to sabotage me, though I do my best to not let them. So far I have succeeded.
I love him so much. That's not news though, is it? It seems you all knew that longer than he did. I've talked with my mother and sister both while we've been here, and things are better there--though not perfect. And I still refuse to talk to Hannes or deal with that. As far as I'm concerned there is no excuse or forgiveness for his attempt to drive off and hurt the person that means the most to me in my life.
So yes, I love him, more than anything and it's so amazing to finally be able to be open about that, to not worry about overstepping. He's always been mine in a way, but now I don't feel guilty stating that, reminding him of that.
We had an encounter when we first arrived--because we hadn't talked, hadn't been open enough. There have always been others in the equation that was us-no matter how much I hated it, I dealt with it because that was the price to keep him as I had. I had assumed when we admitted things, that would change. Orli hadn't really connected those two things...when I saw him kissing another at a club when we first arrived, I sort of lost it. I shattered every glass around me, thank god no one assumes immediately that it's psychic powers that make things happen. Orli just didnt' get it at first, but we talked and then he did...and now we know.
Nothing is harder than watching the one you love with someone else, when you're standing in the same room. How hard it used to be to lay in bed and feel him in the other room with someone else, so hard to feel that way and hide it--bury it so deep that he never saw more than a smile and support, to always be there when needed. And when I wasn't needed, to let myself fade a bit from the foreground to the back. I think I still have the instinct to do that, though I need to fight it--I have every right to stay where I am now. I don't have to watch all the goings on from a distance now.
For I love him. And he loves me. He is mine. I am his.
And we are off to LaLa land...