My Social Studies Teacher: "Yes, she does have a large dress. What does that make it hard to do?"
Me: "Have sex?"
Lindsay: "What does impotent mean?"
Emily: "You can't get it up."
Lindsay: "...Get what up?"
Luba: "I think the whole human race should just be killed off."
Lindsay: "What? Why?!"
Luba: "Because we're just wasting the earth. We're killing ourselves anyway."
Lindsay: "But I haven't done anything! I don't want to die!"
Me: "I think you would die first, actually."
Manager: "What do you do if you receive a bomb threat?"
Emily: "Who the hell is gonna wanna bomb a McDonalds?"
Manager: "Fat people who want free fries?"
Landy: "What do I do about the kiss scene?"
Room As A Whole: "Oh, you'll be fine. Don't worry about it."
Landy: "But, what do I do? Do I do what feels natural?"
Lindsay: "Sorry."
Heather: "Lindsay, stop saying sorry for me being in the fucking way!"
Lindsay: "... But... Now I'm going to say sorry for saying sorry."
Giovanni: "Okay, so I know most of you are virgins, and that's okay, but when you do decide to have sex, burn some incense before you have sex. It hides the smell so if you're in someone's house, they can't smell it. Don't tell my sister that."
Yes, the Lindsay in all of those is the same person. Yes, she's the definition of fail. She also asked me at least four times last year what Agnostic meant, even though I gave her the same definition every time. It really annoys me when Christians act all high and mighty, but they clearly haven't even considered any religions other than Christianity. How are they so sure theirs is right? But anyway.
Also, Juno is at my school. I'm serious. There's this sophomore who carries around a carton of OJ and dresses and talks like Juno, minus the elastic band in her pants (I assume, since she isn't up the spout from what I can tell.) I kinda wanna walk up to her and say, "Hey, sorry. Would you mind getting pregnant for me?" cause then, then, it would be perfect.