(no subject)
So we found out today that there will be a moment of silence at the game on Saturday to honor Nikki. I'm glad. She deserves it. We're taking a buss up for the funeral on Friday. It will be sad.
I'm thinking of giving up the youth for the rest of the semester. I don't think it's fair to them to drag them through my whirlwind of life and despair. It's like I'm barely there anyways right now. I still have to talk to Alan tomorrow but we'll see.
It's so weird how friendships will come and go and be really close at certain points and really distant at others. I'm at the distant point with some of my athletic training buddies. It's weird. I think most of it stems from way too much together time. Hopefully next semester (our last together) will be different and closer. I miss them. I hope they don't despise me too bad. I'm beginning to think some of them do and I don't really know what I did. You would think that in a time where something like what has happend to our group would only bring us closer, and it has with some, but for others it has just made things worse. I don't like that. I really hope it changes soon. I hate being in confrontation with friends.
I really despise the fact that all of my posts lately have been so negative and depressing. I'm just really ready for a new semester that will hopefully hold better things in life. Until then I'm just praying "do not(inhale)...doubt(exhale)" my breath prayer.
I'm thinking of giving up the youth for the rest of the semester. I don't think it's fair to them to drag them through my whirlwind of life and despair. It's like I'm barely there anyways right now. I still have to talk to Alan tomorrow but we'll see.
It's so weird how friendships will come and go and be really close at certain points and really distant at others. I'm at the distant point with some of my athletic training buddies. It's weird. I think most of it stems from way too much together time. Hopefully next semester (our last together) will be different and closer. I miss them. I hope they don't despise me too bad. I'm beginning to think some of them do and I don't really know what I did. You would think that in a time where something like what has happend to our group would only bring us closer, and it has with some, but for others it has just made things worse. I don't like that. I really hope it changes soon. I hate being in confrontation with friends.
I really despise the fact that all of my posts lately have been so negative and depressing. I'm just really ready for a new semester that will hopefully hold better things in life. Until then I'm just praying "do not(inhale)...doubt(exhale)" my breath prayer.