(no subject)
*Sigh* I feel funny. You know that feeling that you get in the pit of your stomach when you just want to be with someone, you just wanna do something. But a'las I am here in front of my computer. I dont know. Its like we have spent the last eighteen years of our lives forging this friendships, making them more and more concrete as time goes on, yet, when we all go off to college, the great majority of them are just going to die off. Its actually quite sad, not that the relationships die, or the people lose touch, its just sad how easily people go and forget. You know? They meet new people who can better suit them, so they simply run with a new crowd. But then what happens after college fades, a person then finds companionship in their spouse and co-workers. So we drift through life mostly just going from personal connection to personal connection, they each affect us, but we dont acknowledge them. Whats it all for? We maintain at most one loyal relationship in our lives, most of us not even that, then we go to work every day, and if we are lucky, we get to research a cure for aids or something else that benefit society in some way, but then we go home, if we are lucky, to that one loyal relationship. Then it gets done all over again, and if your lucky, you can at least take a little peice of the happiness that comes with the cure. But then you think about what you have actually done. You just gave someone an extention on a life that they probably dont value, so they can go through the same daily routins that the rest of us go through for just a little bit longer, then that persons kids, with whom he only visits during the holidays, take a sigh of relief because that "special" person gets to live that much longer. So knowing that they have that little extra time, they go back to the same routine that exisited long before the disease scare. They cryed when they thought it would be the end. Knowing that they would no longer have their father on this earth, but yet, when he is, they dont do anything about it. Why is it that people only care when the end is near? Why do we value life so much higher when it no longer exisit? Its completely rediculous. Donald Trump has more money than most people. When he dies, he will have more poeple at his funeral. But he is the same as the rest of us, he is just living life too. Its like no matter what, we are going to end the same anyway. People say that I am better than that person, I live life to the fullest. Yeah. So what. You will temporally have more fun the working stiff who spends his time pushing papers. You may be happier than he is for a couple days, a couple years, but twenty years after you die, you both will be remembered the same. Nobody will know your names. So you had fun, that didnt do you any good. You both had an equally pointless existance, and you are both done. Its like we try to put a value on life, but is it really there? What do we get from living good that we cant get from living bad? some self absorbed notion of supuriority. A theif works just as we do, he goes home to a family just as we do, and he will do the same thing the next day just like the rest of us. Dont get me wrong, happiness should be a factor on how we live our life, but who are we to say this is happiness and that isnt. It just pisses me off. Who is anyone to say that thier life is better than someone elses? We have all of these structures and all of these rules created so that we live in a society so that we can live benefitially, and I suppose that it does. It just pisses me off that only the Donald Trumps and the Micheal Jordons get remembered. Like their contrabutions are that much more significant that anyone elses. A million dollar sports athlet doesnt do anything that a 12,000 dollar a year janitor doesnt do. Yet their life has more value. Really, value has nothing to do with money, nothing to do with how many people you have touched, I guess what it really comes down to is if you were satisfied with your life, but really, that doesnt even matter. How is someone who is happy with their life any better off than someone who wasnt? They both are going to die, and then cease to exisit, and nobody is going to know thier thoughts and thier lessons learned in life. It just doesnt make sense. If we only live to imporve society, since that seems to be the only conclusion that I can reach, then life has to be the most frivalous thing. Its actually rather pathetic. We claim that the non-materialistic reason for living is to make personal connections. Its not about money, its about people, but this cant be it, because we all so easily just abandon relationships and strive to go to the self-check out lane just to avoid the human factor. But that doesnt matter anyway. Talking to the checkout girl is going to make someone as rememberable as someone who interacts with a computer, if not less so. Our society says things, and that is all. Its all politics. We are all running around saying things, rarely doing things, and even then end up in the same place that we were. When our country was started, people were unhappy, life was rough. Now, we have passed lots of laws, imposed a lot of statuets and things, but has life happiness gone up at all? No, all we have done is created drugs to compensate for our "hardships" and give us a chance to excape our realites. But it doesnt matter anyway. Because, once again, we are all going to be failures in life. There are no winners. The only way to even come close is to hope that the history books idealize you and forget all of your flaws. Even then... Its just rediculous. This is why there has to be religion. This is why there has to be a God. otherwise there is no point in our rountines and there is no point in anything. At all. This is why humanist have got to be wrong. If I were a humanist, why would I ponder humanistic ideals? Its just all so rediculous. I dont know. This was just a grouping of random tangets that probably dont add up to anyone except me anyway. Its not as if anything is in order anyway. I dont know, oh well, I guess maybe I am just a little restless, although it seems as thought it is a little early for that...