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Tonight at AAF, a minister from the Urbana-Champaign Unitarian Universalist Church answered questions and clarified misconceptions about his church. I was moved by the presentation. This particular minister had a calming way about him, and because of this, I was able to focus on his arguments and points without questioning him instantly. My
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It is unfair to insert God into my meditation. We were dealing with concrete details until you decided to put God in. Now I am confused. My peaceful, confident moment was ruined."
hilarious and well written.
well i was baptized orthodox (like my dad) but my mom still dragged us to our lady of peace catholic church on 75th street for my whole life. i never paid attention, i would just listen to all the terrible singers, people watch, and go up for communion once i was in 5th grade and looked old enough--i kept going up because i think it has a really interesting taste to it. doesn't that mean i should be dead? or going to hell or something? anyway, in addition to going to catholic church for christmas and easter i'd have to go again for the different orthodox christmas and easter with my dad--and if you want a good time and a really unique church going experience i'd hit up saint john the baptist serbian eastern orthodox church in bellwood off of manheim. christmas and easter are the big days, so if you go and want to fit in make sure you wear a really ugly fancy outfit, douse yourself in perfume or cologne, slick your hair back, put on a leather (fur is better) coat, and every piece of gold jewelry you own and make sure you bring a lot of cash because it's not about god; it's a showy fashion show. when you walk in, drop some cash on some candles, i'm sure someone knows why you're paying $6 for 3 cheap wax sticks but they won't let on. then push yourself through saying hi and kissing both cheeks to absolutely everyone on your way into the actual church. just follow the chanting if you're not sure where to go. the men stand on the right and the women on the left, but before you segregate, go on and stop by the picture of jesus christ in the center of the isle and leave enough money to show you have the means to, and don't forget to bend down and kiss the picture that's ridden with other people's mouth and lipstick residue--or fake kiss it. then stop over and light your candles and stick them in the sand. on your way back ostentatiously whisper loud hellos to everyone as well. then find a place on your respected side and listen to a long sermon of ancient serbian--don't worry though, no one else understands what he's saying either, but it's soothing so endure it. after that, slowly make your way downstairs to the food and hot liquor. yeah, they only serve the strong stuff. you get a full blown serbian meal on the house, it's delicious but terrible for you i'm sure, and get yourself a cup or six of the homemade rakia (see: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rakia). be sure to stick around for the music and yelling and lots of cheek kissing with the other overly perfumed church goers.
aside from all my commenting, it's actually pretty fun and funny. i keep going to orthodox church but stopped going with my mom. infer from that what you'd like, you should check it out sometime and see if i portrayed it accurately :)
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