My first tarot reading for myself in years....
I was scared to do this. I have not done a reading for myself in many years out of fear of the knowledge I would gain. Why did I fear this so long? What was there to be afraid of? Everything. I didn't want to know. But now I do. And I decided that I am going to share this knowledge.
First Card: Representation of who I am currently.
Four of Cups: Stop dwelling on old memories. A relationship is tested. You are experiencing illogical dissatisfaction with a relationship or job; step back and look at the problems before taking any action.
The first thing that jumped into my mind with this card was Julia. I do dwell on the memories I have with her. But then, it's not just Julia, I dwell on all my past relationships. I think about the great times I have had with people. The feelings that they bestowed upon me. This is... unhealthy. I shouldn't need that kind of... encouragement? I should be able to stand upon my own two feet and be proud of myself.
Second Card: Representation of my helpful forces in my life.
The Tower: You witness or experience a shocking event that leaves you changed. Potential catastrophe is near; be prepared. Your life is complicated by discord in a relationship or the family. Unforeseen setbacks bring despondency and a period of frustration. Your dreams may disintegrate into ashes.
I had to think long and hard about this card. How can something so negative sounding be a positive force. "life is complicated by discord in a relationship or the family." That was the key, my helpful force was the moving out. I was able to create a place for myself away from the discord, the drama, the deep seeding negative energy of the place.
Third Card: Representing the opposing forces in my life.
Four of Swords: This care heralds a time of rest after great anxiety and upset. There will be a pause before events move onto something better. You face a period of low physical energy.
It's the pause, the time of low physical energy that hinders me. Yes, it maybe time of rest, but rest is not what I need currently. I need that energy to continue on. I need that energy to do my work, live up to my responsibilities, I cannot slow down now.
Fourth Card: Representation of my current state of mind or surroundings
Page of Swords: You may have an impulsive desire for new experiences that could cause problems. Be warned of unexpected changes. This card is an advanced notice of a trouble period in life.
I know not what my impulsive desire is. I know my desires, but what is it that I will do that will not be thought out? And an advanced notice? Probably caused by that impulse.
Fifth Card: Representation of my subconscious, deeper thoughts.
The Wheel: Luck and fate are turning in your favor. Your life has entered a change of cycles that will allow you to move forward or slide backward, depending upon your preparation and determination. It is time to makes changes. Break with incompatible loves, friends, relationships, or careers.
Strange, this tells of time of change, yet I am to be wary of unexpected changes. I think that leads back to the impulsive. I have felt that 'change of cycles' already happening. I feel it has been doing so for sometime now. I have already made many of those breaks with loves, friends, and such.
Sixth Card: Representation of the past. Things that have been.
Five of Cups: You maybe hurt from seeing through an illusion. This is a period when you tend to swell only on negative events or happenings. This care foretells the possibility of a divorce of the break up of a marriage or friendship. You may need to fight against a feeling of depression.
Very clear here. Many illusions where stripped from my vision, I lost friendships, relationships, and even myself for a while. I fought depression. Have I won?
Seventh Card: Representing things that are to come if things stay as they are.
Ten of Cups: Goals are reached successfully. Contentment and happiness come into your life. Strong friendships or love brighten your existence. A joyful family occasion is possible.
Well good news it seems. But of course I ask myself, how many more struggles must I face before happiness? As for a 'joyful family occasion', I doubt it, unless my mother isn't there.
Well thank you if you read through this entire thing. I wouldn't mind some input if you have any.
First Card: Representation of who I am currently.
Four of Cups: Stop dwelling on old memories. A relationship is tested. You are experiencing illogical dissatisfaction with a relationship or job; step back and look at the problems before taking any action.
The first thing that jumped into my mind with this card was Julia. I do dwell on the memories I have with her. But then, it's not just Julia, I dwell on all my past relationships. I think about the great times I have had with people. The feelings that they bestowed upon me. This is... unhealthy. I shouldn't need that kind of... encouragement? I should be able to stand upon my own two feet and be proud of myself.
Second Card: Representation of my helpful forces in my life.
The Tower: You witness or experience a shocking event that leaves you changed. Potential catastrophe is near; be prepared. Your life is complicated by discord in a relationship or the family. Unforeseen setbacks bring despondency and a period of frustration. Your dreams may disintegrate into ashes.
I had to think long and hard about this card. How can something so negative sounding be a positive force. "life is complicated by discord in a relationship or the family." That was the key, my helpful force was the moving out. I was able to create a place for myself away from the discord, the drama, the deep seeding negative energy of the place.
Third Card: Representing the opposing forces in my life.
Four of Swords: This care heralds a time of rest after great anxiety and upset. There will be a pause before events move onto something better. You face a period of low physical energy.
It's the pause, the time of low physical energy that hinders me. Yes, it maybe time of rest, but rest is not what I need currently. I need that energy to continue on. I need that energy to do my work, live up to my responsibilities, I cannot slow down now.
Fourth Card: Representation of my current state of mind or surroundings
Page of Swords: You may have an impulsive desire for new experiences that could cause problems. Be warned of unexpected changes. This card is an advanced notice of a trouble period in life.
I know not what my impulsive desire is. I know my desires, but what is it that I will do that will not be thought out? And an advanced notice? Probably caused by that impulse.
Fifth Card: Representation of my subconscious, deeper thoughts.
The Wheel: Luck and fate are turning in your favor. Your life has entered a change of cycles that will allow you to move forward or slide backward, depending upon your preparation and determination. It is time to makes changes. Break with incompatible loves, friends, relationships, or careers.
Strange, this tells of time of change, yet I am to be wary of unexpected changes. I think that leads back to the impulsive. I have felt that 'change of cycles' already happening. I feel it has been doing so for sometime now. I have already made many of those breaks with loves, friends, and such.
Sixth Card: Representation of the past. Things that have been.
Five of Cups: You maybe hurt from seeing through an illusion. This is a period when you tend to swell only on negative events or happenings. This care foretells the possibility of a divorce of the break up of a marriage or friendship. You may need to fight against a feeling of depression.
Very clear here. Many illusions where stripped from my vision, I lost friendships, relationships, and even myself for a while. I fought depression. Have I won?
Seventh Card: Representing things that are to come if things stay as they are.
Ten of Cups: Goals are reached successfully. Contentment and happiness come into your life. Strong friendships or love brighten your existence. A joyful family occasion is possible.
Well good news it seems. But of course I ask myself, how many more struggles must I face before happiness? As for a 'joyful family occasion', I doubt it, unless my mother isn't there.
Well thank you if you read through this entire thing. I wouldn't mind some input if you have any.