It's about time i made a real post....

[atrugambit]

There's still something about a full moon that just changes my mood. I felt alive tonight. I know it's but a brief moment in time, but lately I just feel as though I've been trapped. Now I'm not complaining, because I am better off than a lot of people, but I'm not where I want to be, and I need to change that. I am honest with myself, but everything I say and do is an illusion, carefully thought out to maintain an image of myself that I've come to accept. I'm two-faced, and I dont deny it. The thing is, I'm not terribly sure if this image I maintain is really whats best for me and the people around me anymore. Also I find myself wondering what things would be like if i just dropped the act, stopped the dancing, and said waht I really thought/felt. It'd probably cause more harm than good for everybody but me. I dont know if I'm comfortable with the idea of self sacrifice and martyrdom anymore. I've done it for years, and I dont think its something I'm willing to do anymore.

What am I thinking?
--- I love you soo much!
--- ...
--- And if you love me we should say it loudly and sing it together because love is a breautiful etc etc etc
--- ...
--- WWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dude... You're my Hero!