Disappointments always arrive on Mondays

[atroxadvena]

I am a little less than content with life, go figure... why else would i write in here if not? School is sucking the fucking life out of me. I am beginning another lapse of depression, and i am very discontent. I had a notion last night on my way home, if i can't have a career doing what i want to do (art) then i don't know if there will be a me. It seems to be all i have really, always has been. *sigh* I just don't understand it all... why is it when you love something, it always is destined to fail? I think it is very cruel, very very cruel. Sometimes i wonder if i were to leave, if i would really mind so much in the end. Sometimes i think the answer is a diffenate no.

I just feel very much alone;

There's no fixing it, i have tried time and again... but the feeling remains. Maybe i should jus sit back, rethink, and watch the situtation for once. A little retrospective is a good thing... however babbeling is not. But what else can you do when what you want to say you can't? At least not in here. fuck it, yet another string of pointless words.