How I Love to Love You....

[atroxadvena]

So I have had a very good night indeed, much better than this early afternoon with my waves of depresh. How i lve to be cuddled and touched and all those small things that people take for granted. It's not everyday that i have a man in my lap, who has random thumb wars with me and can make me smile just looking at him when he doesn't think i am. How I love to love thee, my everything... my dawn and dusk. I sometimes get distant, it's not something i can help but he makes it worth it when he notices me. I can tell he does, and so my sadness lapses; a pause for the cause and simple kiss just now. Even though it is not simple, just brief interlude to my journal entry. I think about him a lot, i think about his touch... his smell of ghost vanilla, and the way he shakes his head when he sings. My heart beats and burns his name and i am satisfied with the fire he creates in me. No satified is not nearly the word... enthralled perhaps but still that is too weak for what I feel for one Troy Thresher. Just to be his makes me happy even when i am anything but, I just hope i don't let ME get in the way of what we have. I always ruin what is good with worries, i guess i am self distructive, but as long as i know i am his and he is mine i think i can avoid what in the past was innevitable. Even now I hear him showing his work to Justin and I think... god how i LOVE you (in all caps inside my head).

TNT
Did you know i watch you
because you are beautiful
the way you talk and walk
the way you sigh at odd moments
the way you adjust your glasses
using your cute little nose
How i covet your dimples
your flexible thumbs
your knowledge of all things metal
but most of all your mind

Even when you put me on at movies
little April Fools jokes
when i think it is three days away
how you seem to know when i am sad
and a billion more reasons
You inspire poems
inspire art, inspire love
Oh my dear
how i love to
be loved by Troy