[fic] Limerence in Exodus (YunJae) 1/1
Title: Limerence in Exodus
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Warning: Angst, break-up fic, some swearing
Summary: Response to the following prompt in the YunJae Anon Meme: "Yunjae had their biggest fight which led them to their divorce. Angsty prompt mehehe >8D"
“Don’t you fucking touch me!”
Silence befalls them, the air thick with silence and and pregnant pause as two figures stand stark still before each other. Jaejoong’s eyes are wild with fire and anger, face flushed and chest heaving with deep breaths. “Don’t you fucking touch me,” he repeats himself, this time his voice a dangerous murmur. His voice wavers and his body shakes, hands clenching tight into fists as he struggles not to lash out at the man a mere arm’s length away.
“Why are you being like this?” the other man whispers, voice broken, and eyes glossy with a fresh wave of tears. “I love you-”
“No you don’t!” Jaejoong shouts, taking a step back, because if he didn’t he’d be going forward and slamming his fist into his husband’s (of three blissfultorturousagonizing years) face. “You never loved me, Yunho. You loved what I could be for you, but you never loved me.”
Yunho’s eyes narrow and darken with anger. “How could you say that? Why are you putting words in my mouth?” He takes a step forward, and Jaejoong another back. His legs hit the couch and he throws his hand out to stop Yunho from moving again.
“Don’t!”
“Jaejoong-”
“Fucking stop it, Yunho! I’m so tired of this. I’m so tired of pretending to be someone for you that I’m not. Why don’t you understand this?”
“I don’t know what you mean, I would never ask you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, baby-”
“Bullshit!” Jaejoong raises his voice again, and promptly turns on his heel and marches into the kitchen. He slams his fist into a picture frame along the way, glass embedding into the skin of his hand but he ignores it as a droplet falls to the floor. “‘Jaejoong, keep your hair long! Jaejoong, why are you working out? Jaejoong why don’t you shave anymore? Why did you stop waxing? Jaejoong, why aren’t you wearing make-up today?’
“Well, I’m not fucking sorry that I got tired of pretending to be your pretty little wife and decided that I’m proud of the man I am and you can’t fucking handle it!”
“Bullshit, I never once said any of that-” Yunho steps right over the mess, barely registering it in his mind as he is completely livid with rage. Forget the tears, the only thing on his mind is How dare he!?
“You say it all of the fucking time, Yunho! You always call me pretty and I know I’m as gay as a fucking fruit cake and I might have some feminine tendencies, but I’m still a fucking man and I have a dick too!” Jaejoong is yelling by the end of his tirade, and he finally notices the blood as it begins to drip on the floor and form a trail. He kicks a fallen dish at Yunho’s feet, another signal for him to stay right the fuck there, as he begins to pry the glass from his skin and clean the blood from his hands.
Yunho knows Jaejoong well enough to know he might start hyperventilating soon if they don’t calm down, but part of him doesn’t care.
“Trust me, I am well aware of that,” Yunho snaps.
“Just because you suck it every once in a while doesn’t mean anything. I’m tired of three fucking years of doing nothing but being your bottom bitch for you,” Jaejoong seethes, hissing as the blood keeps flowing. If it doesn’t stop soon he might need to get stitches.
“I thought you liked it when I fuck you!” Yunho is incredulous, why is Jaejoong bringing this up now of all times?
“Why are you so against me wanting to be on top every once in a while?”
“Because it’s weird!”
Jaejoong lashes out and throws a glass plate at Yunho, not caring when it misses him by inches and shatters on the countertop to his left. “That’s what our fucking problem is, Yunho. I’m gay. I am fucking gay and you aren’t!”
Yunho is so stunned by his accusation, eyes going wide and body going rigid, that he stammers, speechless, and barely manages to say, “I-I married you!”
“No,” Jaejoong says, “you married a boy who was so obsessed with being pretty. You married the perfect little flowerboy that had nothing but hand-me-downs from 8 older sisters. You didn’t marry me, the grown up man that decided it’s time to get comfortable in my own skin.”
Yunho says nothing, and Jaejoong fails to bite back the caustic laughter burning at his throat. “See, you can’t even deny it. This is why we’re not working out, Yunho. You somehow managed to convince yourself that our marriage was okay because of how feminine I tried to be, how feminine you asked me, but now that I’ve grown out of that phase you want nothing to do with me anymore since you can’t deny I’m all male.
“I’m growing up now, Yunho, and I think you need to, too. It’s time to pull that curtain from your eyes and look at the world for what it really is. You can start by being honest with yourself: you’re not gay, and you don’t love me. Our marriage is a flop and it’s time to let it go.”
Yunho goes silent as Jaejoong continues, in vain, to wash the blood from his hand but the wound keeps bleeding. Jaejoong looks a little frantic, mouth moving in a quick succession as Yunho recognizes him trying to distract himself from the impending anxiety.
“Here,” Yunho says, grabbing a power towel, applying pressure on Jaejoong’s bleeding hand, and tries not to show his hurt when the other jerks away from him. “It looks like it needs stitches, let me take you to the hospital.”
Begrudgingly, Jaejoong agrees.
It takes over an hour to get there and get a room and somehow they’ve managed to not breathe a word to each other. It’s only when they’re waiting on the doctor to come in and take a look at Jaejoong does he break the ice, sparing his husband a baleful look. “Why are you still here?”
Because I still have the car, Yunho thinks, but instead he says, “I don’t know.”
“Well, you’re more than welcome to leave. I can handle getting stitches by myself.”
Yunho sighs, and he that’s when it finally occurs to him: everything that’s just happened. The full force of their argument, of Jaejoong’s words and the meaning behind them, hits him all at once and he nearly stumbles from the sheer force alone. It’s a lot for him to handle, but as he sorts through accepting the truth, he finds himself grasping serenity as it rises inside of him.
One of Jaejoong’s greatest abilities was to look at others and read them and to simply know. He has a way with words that is honest and he has never, ever known his husband to ever lie.
Why would he start now?
“Jaejoong...” Yunho murmurs his husband’s name, beckoning his gaze as he stands before him. Yunho tries to reach out and grasp Jaejoong’s hand one last time, but he won’t allow it. “You’re right,” he says. “That’s the thing -- you’re always right and sometimes I hate it. But I think this time, this is what we both need.
“I might truly be straight after all, but it doesn’t mean I loved you any less.”
Those words hit Jaejoong like a sharp blade digging into his chest, twisting in his heart, and he struggles to maintain his composure. “Just go, Yunho,” he says quietly, turning his gaze away. There’s a long moment of silence, as if Yunho’s hesitating, but he eventually leaves the room.
The second the door closes shut behind him, Jaejoong is a sobbing mess. Yunho isn’t The One That Got Away, he’s The One You Have to Let Go.
Once upon a time I told myself I would not write anything like this. (Despite how mellow I am regarding this ship, a part of me does truly believe Yunho and Jaejoong had feelings for one another at some point. Whether or not those feelings were acted upon, we'll never know, but the fact is I believe.) Break-up fics and character death make my heart hurt in the worst of ways, yet this prompt managed to call out to me and beckon to be fulfilled...
*sigh* :(
A penny for your thoughts? ♥
Rating: PG-13
Genre: Angst
Warning: Angst, break-up fic, some swearing
Summary: Response to the following prompt in the YunJae Anon Meme: "Yunjae had their biggest fight which led them to their divorce. Angsty prompt mehehe >8D"
“Don’t you fucking touch me!”
Silence befalls them, the air thick with silence and and pregnant pause as two figures stand stark still before each other. Jaejoong’s eyes are wild with fire and anger, face flushed and chest heaving with deep breaths. “Don’t you fucking touch me,” he repeats himself, this time his voice a dangerous murmur. His voice wavers and his body shakes, hands clenching tight into fists as he struggles not to lash out at the man a mere arm’s length away.
“Why are you being like this?” the other man whispers, voice broken, and eyes glossy with a fresh wave of tears. “I love you-”
“No you don’t!” Jaejoong shouts, taking a step back, because if he didn’t he’d be going forward and slamming his fist into his husband’s (of three blissfultorturousagonizing years) face. “You never loved me, Yunho. You loved what I could be for you, but you never loved me.”
Yunho’s eyes narrow and darken with anger. “How could you say that? Why are you putting words in my mouth?” He takes a step forward, and Jaejoong another back. His legs hit the couch and he throws his hand out to stop Yunho from moving again.
“Don’t!”
“Jaejoong-”
“Fucking stop it, Yunho! I’m so tired of this. I’m so tired of pretending to be someone for you that I’m not. Why don’t you understand this?”
“I don’t know what you mean, I would never ask you to do anything you’re not comfortable with, baby-”
“Bullshit!” Jaejoong raises his voice again, and promptly turns on his heel and marches into the kitchen. He slams his fist into a picture frame along the way, glass embedding into the skin of his hand but he ignores it as a droplet falls to the floor. “‘Jaejoong, keep your hair long! Jaejoong, why are you working out? Jaejoong why don’t you shave anymore? Why did you stop waxing? Jaejoong, why aren’t you wearing make-up today?’
“Well, I’m not fucking sorry that I got tired of pretending to be your pretty little wife and decided that I’m proud of the man I am and you can’t fucking handle it!”
“Bullshit, I never once said any of that-” Yunho steps right over the mess, barely registering it in his mind as he is completely livid with rage. Forget the tears, the only thing on his mind is How dare he!?
“You say it all of the fucking time, Yunho! You always call me pretty and I know I’m as gay as a fucking fruit cake and I might have some feminine tendencies, but I’m still a fucking man and I have a dick too!” Jaejoong is yelling by the end of his tirade, and he finally notices the blood as it begins to drip on the floor and form a trail. He kicks a fallen dish at Yunho’s feet, another signal for him to stay right the fuck there, as he begins to pry the glass from his skin and clean the blood from his hands.
Yunho knows Jaejoong well enough to know he might start hyperventilating soon if they don’t calm down, but part of him doesn’t care.
“Trust me, I am well aware of that,” Yunho snaps.
“Just because you suck it every once in a while doesn’t mean anything. I’m tired of three fucking years of doing nothing but being your bottom bitch for you,” Jaejoong seethes, hissing as the blood keeps flowing. If it doesn’t stop soon he might need to get stitches.
“I thought you liked it when I fuck you!” Yunho is incredulous, why is Jaejoong bringing this up now of all times?
“Why are you so against me wanting to be on top every once in a while?”
“Because it’s weird!”
Jaejoong lashes out and throws a glass plate at Yunho, not caring when it misses him by inches and shatters on the countertop to his left. “That’s what our fucking problem is, Yunho. I’m gay. I am fucking gay and you aren’t!”
Yunho is so stunned by his accusation, eyes going wide and body going rigid, that he stammers, speechless, and barely manages to say, “I-I married you!”
“No,” Jaejoong says, “you married a boy who was so obsessed with being pretty. You married the perfect little flowerboy that had nothing but hand-me-downs from 8 older sisters. You didn’t marry me, the grown up man that decided it’s time to get comfortable in my own skin.”
Yunho says nothing, and Jaejoong fails to bite back the caustic laughter burning at his throat. “See, you can’t even deny it. This is why we’re not working out, Yunho. You somehow managed to convince yourself that our marriage was okay because of how feminine I tried to be, how feminine you asked me, but now that I’ve grown out of that phase you want nothing to do with me anymore since you can’t deny I’m all male.
“I’m growing up now, Yunho, and I think you need to, too. It’s time to pull that curtain from your eyes and look at the world for what it really is. You can start by being honest with yourself: you’re not gay, and you don’t love me. Our marriage is a flop and it’s time to let it go.”
Yunho goes silent as Jaejoong continues, in vain, to wash the blood from his hand but the wound keeps bleeding. Jaejoong looks a little frantic, mouth moving in a quick succession as Yunho recognizes him trying to distract himself from the impending anxiety.
“Here,” Yunho says, grabbing a power towel, applying pressure on Jaejoong’s bleeding hand, and tries not to show his hurt when the other jerks away from him. “It looks like it needs stitches, let me take you to the hospital.”
Begrudgingly, Jaejoong agrees.
It takes over an hour to get there and get a room and somehow they’ve managed to not breathe a word to each other. It’s only when they’re waiting on the doctor to come in and take a look at Jaejoong does he break the ice, sparing his husband a baleful look. “Why are you still here?”
Because I still have the car, Yunho thinks, but instead he says, “I don’t know.”
“Well, you’re more than welcome to leave. I can handle getting stitches by myself.”
Yunho sighs, and he that’s when it finally occurs to him: everything that’s just happened. The full force of their argument, of Jaejoong’s words and the meaning behind them, hits him all at once and he nearly stumbles from the sheer force alone. It’s a lot for him to handle, but as he sorts through accepting the truth, he finds himself grasping serenity as it rises inside of him.
One of Jaejoong’s greatest abilities was to look at others and read them and to simply know. He has a way with words that is honest and he has never, ever known his husband to ever lie.
Why would he start now?
“Jaejoong...” Yunho murmurs his husband’s name, beckoning his gaze as he stands before him. Yunho tries to reach out and grasp Jaejoong’s hand one last time, but he won’t allow it. “You’re right,” he says. “That’s the thing -- you’re always right and sometimes I hate it. But I think this time, this is what we both need.
“I might truly be straight after all, but it doesn’t mean I loved you any less.”
Those words hit Jaejoong like a sharp blade digging into his chest, twisting in his heart, and he struggles to maintain his composure. “Just go, Yunho,” he says quietly, turning his gaze away. There’s a long moment of silence, as if Yunho’s hesitating, but he eventually leaves the room.
The second the door closes shut behind him, Jaejoong is a sobbing mess. Yunho isn’t The One That Got Away, he’s The One You Have to Let Go.
Once upon a time I told myself I would not write anything like this. (Despite how mellow I am regarding this ship, a part of me does truly believe Yunho and Jaejoong had feelings for one another at some point. Whether or not those feelings were acted upon, we'll never know, but the fact is I believe.) Break-up fics and character death make my heart hurt in the worst of ways, yet this prompt managed to call out to me and beckon to be fulfilled...
*sigh* :(
A penny for your thoughts? ♥