(no subject)
Im sad.
I dont know if its the lack of sleep, or the fact that i find myself queztioning everything again.
Im finding the mere concept orf originality in love and relationships to be a futile point, at best. Moot at worst. There is nothing she could say to me, or I to her, that hasnt been said to someone else So what makes me so special? Or her for that matter? And if trends stay the same, she and I will part ways sooner or later anyway right?
So whats the bloody point?
No matter how many tests I give her, or how many times she looks at me with those eyes that mean so much at this point, shes given those eyes to someone else before. There will always be something shes done with someone else that ill never compare to, no matter how amazing she claims I am.
She came out of nowhere, like most girls who progress to this level often do. I wasnt expecting her arrival into my life, but instantly, I kind of knew I wanted to be with her. The only differences between now and then are so slight that it doesnt even figure up that it would be any different. Stronger, better, longer..nihilism prevails.
Its a comingling of jealousy, anger, loss and sadness. A melody so closely resembling love that I almost cant tell the difference. Almost.
I dont know where to go with this. And I cant even get a hold of her to hear the voice that tells me that its gonna be okay.
Wow.