BEFORE READING MY POST, PLEASE NOTE THESE TRIGGER WARNINGS: • mental illness • body image, food, weight, fat • mild bullying and emotional abuse
ABOUT ME: NAME/NICKNAME: Kimberly (never Kim, please. K works) AGE & LOCATION: Ageless. I wish. Actually, this is an issue for me, because in the past many years, I've been discriminated against because of my age more than I have because of being super plus size, crippled (I walk with two canes), bisexual, and polyamorous combined. Internally, I feel -- in good ways and not so good -- about 27. I was born in 1963. GENDER IDENTITY & PREFERRED PRONOUNS: mostly female, though I like experimenting with gender identity. female pronouns are fine. OCCUPATION/STUDYING: disabled for about 15 years for major depression/bipolar. I'm not even a good housewife.
MORE ABOUT ME: DESCRIBE MYSELF IN FIVE WORDS: moody, unreliable, geeky, tired, selfish HOBBIES & PASTTIMES: reading, visual journaling (sort a cross between art journaling and smashbooking), collecting & trading postcards and other items, online celebrity role playing. I used to be interested in so much more, but depression has stolen a lot of that from me. FIVE FAVOURITE BOOKS: Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell; Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card; Halfway Human by Carolyn Ives Gilman; Vigilant by Robert Alan Gardner; Time Enough for Love by Robert A. Heinlein FIVE FAVOURITE MOVIES: Star Wars IV-VI, Indiana Jones I-III, Star Trek, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, (500) Days of Summer FIVE FAVOURITE TV SHOWS: Sherlock (BBC), House, Firefly, White Collar, Leverage (although I need to catch up on the three of those that have more than 15 episodes, heh) FIVE FAVOURITE MUSICIANS/BANDS: The Doors, The Rolling Stones, The Cribs, The Beatles, Paul McCartney. I'm not very up on music of the last two decades, but I like hearing new stuff, especially rock. I also like classical music, including opera.
THINKING ABOUT GOOD THINGS: THREE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT MYSELF: intelligent, usually empathetic, sometimes compassionate THREE THINGS MY FRIENDS WOULD SAY ABOUT ME: intelligent, creative, caring THREE THINGS I'M GOOD AT: writing, public speaking, being alone THREE THINGS I'M GRATEFUL FOR: my husband, my friends, my cats THREE THINGS THAT I'M PASSIONATE ABOUT: animals, art/creativity, rational thinking, civil rights/person freedom THREE GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME THIS WEEK: I got some really cool snail mail, um… my youngest cat rubbed his forehead on mine for the first time (one of the big signs of feline affection), and I had a really yummy Famous Bowl from KFC.
THE DIFFICULT STUFF (TRIGGER WARNINGS AHEAD): MY MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES IN A NUTSHELL: major depression/bipolar. I was diagnosed with major depression when I was 20, though I'd had it for years, then re-diagnosed seven years ago as having bipolar. I don't have much mania, though. I'M A SURVIVOR OF: parents, friends, and doctors who told me I was fat when I was 5'7" and weighed 160 lbs. Pul-eeze. being teased since 4th grade for having big boobs. Like, 36E when I was 160 lbs in junior high school. MY TRIGGERS SO THAT YOU'RE AWARE OF THEM (OPTIONAL): this is really weird, I know, but… details of abuse to animals. hypocritically, I'm not a vegetarian. MEDICATIONS THAT I AM ON (OPTIONAL): for bipolar: Lexapro 20mg, Depakote 500mg, Vitamin D 5000 iu; for arthritis pain: Celebrex 200mg/day, Elavil 10mg/day, Soma 350 mg 2-4x/day, Norco 10/325mg 4-5x/day. Xanax and alcohol occasionally; working (and it is WORK, let me tell you!) on getting a medical marijuana card for pain. OTHER HEALTH ISSUES (OPTIONAL): severe arthritis in hips, knees, back, neck, and now creeping into my hands. I currently weigh about 260 lbs and need to get down to about 225 so I can get the worse hip replaced. I'm an advocate for fat acceptance though, and for being healthy, including having good health esteem, and not waiting to get skinny for life to start. I wasted decades doing that, even though my blood pressure, blood sugar, and cholesterol are all more healthy than average. OTHER THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW (PLEASE NOTE NECESSARY TRIGGER WARNINGS IF APPLICABLE): Nothing else I can think of at the moment.
EASIER STUFF: HOW I RUN MY JOURNAL: (for instance: filters, how often you post, how often you comment, things that you talk about on your journal, etc) Right now, it's unlocked except for some terribly embarrassing fanfic, and some not at all embarrassing "normal" short stories. I don't use my journal much but I would like to, but I don't get out of the house much thanks to depression and physical pain, and I know I need to socialize. FRIENDING POLICIES: I don't really have any THINGS I WILL NOT TOLERATE ON MY JOURNAL: mentions of animal abuse, including what a hypocrite I am for still eating meat; bigotry, including bigotry towards white heterosexual men. I don't have a very high tolerance for PC speak. ANYTHING ELSE: I've been married for 20+ years to a fantastic white heterosexual male who is a pre-published screenwriter. He keeps us all in cat food and people food (we have five cats, one from a shelter and four we found at various times as very young, sick kittens in our yard, who we then nursed back to health and got too attached to to adopt out) as a philosophy and religious studies professor.
POST SOMETHING THAT MADE YOU SMILE TODAY: Watching my cats play with each other, and cuddling with them in bed and when they jump up on my desk.
details of abuse to animals Oh my gosh, yes. I have panic attacks when subjected to images or descriptions of animals being tortured or otherwise. I'm not sure why I find so confronting (other than the fact that animal abuse is terrible); but whatever it is, it triggers something deep inside me that upsets me on levels I can't express.
I'm an advocate for fat acceptance though, and for being healthy, including having good health esteem, and not waiting to get skinny for life to start. AMEN, SISTAH.
Friends? My thread is at the top if you wish to read mine. :-)
I once walked out on a job, on the spot, because a coworker repeated a really horrible animal abuse story in my presence not ten minutes after she'd told me and I'd asked her to PLEASE not talk about things like that in my presence. That was the next to last job I worked, no doubt leaving like that added to the evidence for my not being able to work.
Oops, I meant "having good self esteem" but yeah, you get the idea.
Friended. I read your thread before commenting originally, because I wanted to see whose journal and world I was commenting to :)
Enders Game is one of my favorites, too. Did you know they're coming out with a movie for this this year? Seriously, they've been promising me this since high school. I remember talking to a friend about it then! I'm so excited!
Ooo, I did not know that! I'm not sure if I'd have the guts to go so see, so afraid they'd ruin the books for me, you know? I love Ender's Shadow, too, but strangely enough it took me a few tries and several years to really get into Speaker for the Dead and then Xenocide, but I really loved them when I finally did read them. His novel Lovelock really fascinated me, too. Time for that one again, I think.
You know I had a lot of trouble getting into Speaker for the Dead and Xenocide, too. But, I really like the whole Shadow series. I haven't read anything else by him - perhaps I should. But yeah I'm afraid they're going to ruin it - they are making Ender 15 in the movie, basically because there aren't enough talented 6 year old actors...
• mental illness
• body image, food, weight, fat
• mild bullying and emotional abuse
ABOUT ME:
NAME/NICKNAME: Kimberly (never Kim, please. K works)
AGE & LOCATION: Ageless. I wish. Actually, this is an issue for me, because in the past many years, I've been discriminated against because of my age more than I have because of being super plus size, crippled (I walk with two canes), bisexual, and polyamorous combined. Internally, I feel -- in good ways and not so good -- about 27. I was born in 1963.
GENDER IDENTITY & PREFERRED PRONOUNS: mostly female, though I like experimenting with gender identity. female pronouns are fine.
OCCUPATION/STUDYING: disabled for about 15 years for major depression/bipolar. I'm not even a good housewife.
MORE ABOUT ME:
DESCRIBE MYSELF IN FIVE WORDS: moody, unreliable, geeky, tired, selfish
HOBBIES & PASTTIMES: reading, visual journaling (sort a cross between art journaling and smashbooking), collecting & trading postcards and other items, online celebrity role playing. I used to be interested in so much more, but depression has stolen a lot of that from me.
FIVE FAVOURITE BOOKS: Gone with the Wind by Margaret Mitchell; Ender's Game by Orson Scott Card; Halfway Human by Carolyn Ives Gilman; Vigilant by Robert Alan Gardner; Time Enough for Love by Robert A. Heinlein
FIVE FAVOURITE MOVIES: Star Wars IV-VI, Indiana Jones I-III, Star Trek, Hedwig and the Angry Inch, (500) Days of Summer
FIVE FAVOURITE TV SHOWS: Sherlock (BBC), House, Firefly, White Collar, Leverage (although I need to catch up on the three of those that have more than 15 episodes, heh)
FIVE FAVOURITE MUSICIANS/BANDS: The Doors, The Rolling Stones, The Cribs, The Beatles, Paul McCartney. I'm not very up on music of the last two decades, but I like hearing new stuff, especially rock. I also like classical music, including opera.
THINKING ABOUT GOOD THINGS:
THREE THINGS I LIKE ABOUT MYSELF: intelligent, usually empathetic, sometimes compassionate
THREE THINGS MY FRIENDS WOULD SAY ABOUT ME: intelligent, creative, caring
THREE THINGS I'M GOOD AT: writing, public speaking, being alone
THREE THINGS I'M GRATEFUL FOR: my husband, my friends, my cats
THREE THINGS THAT I'M PASSIONATE ABOUT: animals, art/creativity, rational thinking, civil rights/person freedom
THREE GOOD THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO ME THIS WEEK: I got some really cool snail mail, um… my youngest cat rubbed his forehead on mine for the first time (one of the big signs of feline affection), and I had a really yummy Famous Bowl from KFC.
Reply
MY MENTAL HEALTH ISSUES IN A NUTSHELL: major depression/bipolar. I was diagnosed with major depression when I was 20, though I'd had it for years, then re-diagnosed seven years ago as having bipolar. I don't have much mania, though.
I'M A SURVIVOR OF: parents, friends, and doctors who told me I was fat when I was 5'7" and weighed 160 lbs. Pul-eeze. being teased since 4th grade for having big boobs. Like, 36E when I was 160 lbs in junior high school.
MY TRIGGERS SO THAT YOU'RE AWARE OF THEM (OPTIONAL): this is really weird, I know, but… details of abuse to animals. hypocritically, I'm not a vegetarian.
MEDICATIONS THAT I AM ON (OPTIONAL): for bipolar: Lexapro 20mg, Depakote 500mg, Vitamin D 5000 iu; for arthritis pain: Celebrex 200mg/day, Elavil 10mg/day, Soma 350 mg 2-4x/day, Norco 10/325mg 4-5x/day. Xanax and alcohol occasionally; working (and it is WORK, let me tell you!) on getting a medical marijuana card for pain.
OTHER HEALTH ISSUES (OPTIONAL): severe arthritis in hips, knees, back, neck, and now creeping into my hands. I currently weigh about 260 lbs and need to get down to about 225 so I can get the worse hip replaced. I'm an advocate for fat acceptance though, and for being healthy, including having good health esteem, and not waiting to get skinny for life to start. I wasted decades doing that, even though my blood pressure, blood sugar, and cholesterol are all more healthy than average.
OTHER THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW (PLEASE NOTE NECESSARY TRIGGER WARNINGS IF APPLICABLE): Nothing else I can think of at the moment.
EASIER STUFF:
HOW I RUN MY JOURNAL: (for instance: filters, how often you post, how often you comment, things that you talk about on your journal, etc) Right now, it's unlocked except for some terribly embarrassing fanfic, and some not at all embarrassing "normal" short stories. I don't use my journal much but I would like to, but I don't get out of the house much thanks to depression and physical pain, and I know I need to socialize.
FRIENDING POLICIES: I don't really have any
THINGS I WILL NOT TOLERATE ON MY JOURNAL: mentions of animal abuse, including what a hypocrite I am for still eating meat; bigotry, including bigotry towards white heterosexual men. I don't have a very high tolerance for PC speak.
ANYTHING ELSE: I've been married for 20+ years to a fantastic white heterosexual male who is a pre-published screenwriter. He keeps us all in cat food and people food (we have five cats, one from a shelter and four we found at various times as very young, sick kittens in our yard, who we then nursed back to health and got too attached to to adopt out) as a philosophy and religious studies professor.
POST SOMETHING THAT MADE YOU SMILE TODAY:
Watching my cats play with each other, and cuddling with them in bed and when they jump up on my desk.
Reply
Oh my gosh, yes. I have panic attacks when subjected to images or descriptions of animals being tortured or otherwise. I'm not sure why I find so confronting (other than the fact that animal abuse is terrible); but whatever it is, it triggers something deep inside me that upsets me on levels I can't express.
I'm an advocate for fat acceptance though, and for being healthy, including having good health esteem, and not waiting to get skinny for life to start.
AMEN, SISTAH.
Friends? My thread is at the top if you wish to read mine. :-)
Reply
Oops, I meant "having good self esteem" but yeah, you get the idea.
Friended. I read your thread before commenting originally, because I wanted to see whose journal and world I was commenting to :)
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