Predicting the Weather
I'm starting this entry not quite sure what I'm writing about. I've been sick all day, and came home preparing to honker down, hopefully to recover before tomorrow. With my computer recently back up, I decided to make it a night of British Television. I took a shower, warmed up some split pea soup and cheese nips, dove under the covers, and started running through about 6 of my Brit favourites. Top Gear, Long Way Round, Doctor Who... the hits just kept coming. I didn't want them to end, but pressed on with a different series as each set of credits rolled. Ironically I got to Green Wing, the more comedic of the shows, and I started getting down.
I've been pretty good lately. Or maybe distracted. And busy. Either way, life has been ok. I've been attempting to message girls on one of those dating sites. While always depressing in the past, I'm now just talking without intent, and it seems a bit easier. I'm simply trying to push myself forward and build some momentum; Like getting too close to the sun, but then you use it's gravity to slingshot you forward. I'm nearly 29, and I feel like I've a lot of lost time to make up for.
I'm also frustrated. Here, I know music. Let me explain.
Music is very frustrating for me. It's become a huge passion, and discovering new things has gotten me through some real tough spots recently. Many of you that know me know how much I thrive on being diverse. However, the problem with music comes in that you can't just shift genres. You have to find gateways that help ease you into a new style. I've listened to some bands that I didn't think much of, then a year later suddenly click.
Now, I have this band, and they impassion me in a way that I want to share with everyone. Then I try, and they don't get it. I'm crushed. I have found a secret treasure, but only I can see it. By the time one of my friends can appreciate it, I'll likely have moved on. That bond of shared appreciation is then lost for us both.
This seems to be the case in life, as well. I find that as I grow older, I see more and more parallels that mimic a lesson I've learned somewhere more harmless. Suddenly I'm building up scars. Life is more frustrating, more troublesome. I wonder if Sartre would have said "Hell is Other people" when he was young, or if it built more of a momentum as he aged? As things became more finite, more urgent.
I'm not quite sure where else to go with this, other than to say, I seem to know when the weather is changing; I have more scars that ache, like an old knee injury before a storm. These faint impressions, souvenirs of my defeats, more easily distract me from the simple joys I have always seen in every day life. I'm not ungrateful for the lessons, I simply wish I could preserve those treasures that the lessons cost me.
I've been pretty good lately. Or maybe distracted. And busy. Either way, life has been ok. I've been attempting to message girls on one of those dating sites. While always depressing in the past, I'm now just talking without intent, and it seems a bit easier. I'm simply trying to push myself forward and build some momentum; Like getting too close to the sun, but then you use it's gravity to slingshot you forward. I'm nearly 29, and I feel like I've a lot of lost time to make up for.
I'm also frustrated. Here, I know music. Let me explain.
Music is very frustrating for me. It's become a huge passion, and discovering new things has gotten me through some real tough spots recently. Many of you that know me know how much I thrive on being diverse. However, the problem with music comes in that you can't just shift genres. You have to find gateways that help ease you into a new style. I've listened to some bands that I didn't think much of, then a year later suddenly click.
Now, I have this band, and they impassion me in a way that I want to share with everyone. Then I try, and they don't get it. I'm crushed. I have found a secret treasure, but only I can see it. By the time one of my friends can appreciate it, I'll likely have moved on. That bond of shared appreciation is then lost for us both.
This seems to be the case in life, as well. I find that as I grow older, I see more and more parallels that mimic a lesson I've learned somewhere more harmless. Suddenly I'm building up scars. Life is more frustrating, more troublesome. I wonder if Sartre would have said "Hell is Other people" when he was young, or if it built more of a momentum as he aged? As things became more finite, more urgent.
I'm not quite sure where else to go with this, other than to say, I seem to know when the weather is changing; I have more scars that ache, like an old knee injury before a storm. These faint impressions, souvenirs of my defeats, more easily distract me from the simple joys I have always seen in every day life. I'm not ungrateful for the lessons, I simply wish I could preserve those treasures that the lessons cost me.