Hi my name's Jon and I'm...
an aardvark.
So most people here will know that I don't smoke and that I no longer drink alcohol or do drugs. I've been wanting to write something about this for a little while, not that I have anything to get off of my chest, I just thought it was worthy of comment.
I quit drinking for two reasons, well that's not quite accurate but it's close enough. The main reason was that my drinking was getting out of control, I've never been one for half measures (literally or figuratively) and living alone with an Iceland store on my way home from work didn't help. I'd tried cutting down which was fine until the next time I went for the 3 for £10 deal and ended up with two empty bottles the next morning, every morning. At the same time I was also very interested in a girl who because of her cultural background and past experience didn't really trust people who had been drinking.
She introduced me to the Qur'an which has some interesting things to say about alcohol, firstly it says that alcohol (and games of chance) have benefits for man but also dangers, so it is advisable to avoid them entirely. Later it goes on to say that the consumption of alcohol makes the drinker behave in ways he would not want to otherwise and takes you away from the things which you should be doing in your life. While I appreciate the text actually means prayer and such like when it says this but it was no less true for the access course I was almost failing and the relationship which was not happening. Armed with some eloquently written thought on the subject (as well as some concerned phone calls from friends and ex-lovers) and topped off with an absolutely horrible experience at a party a week or so earlier I decided that I would indeed get the girl, kill the baddies and save the entire planet.
This was a little over two years ago. And I haven't touched a drop since. Even the free Baileys shot in the restaurant the other week. I know it's a control issue and I know that out with a friend I could probably just have a couple, and probably have a good time but once it's ok in my mind to have one I'm certain I would slip, probably slowly to start with, back into my old habits. There are a couple of my old friends who think I should start drinking again, I'm probably more fun when I'm drunk and I don't blame them for wanting to see me having a good time, I'm sure they would stop me going too far but they won't be around all of the time and I can't afford to mess up my education again. I also don't like the idea of needing someone there to keep an eye on me, that's far from the person I think I am capable of being.
The other thing keeping me from drinking again is that I have, at risk of sounding like a self righteous straight edge kid, come to spurn people who absolutely have to get shit-faced in order to have a good time and measure how good a night it was by how drunk fucked were, probably as this is far too close to home for comfort. Although that said I have only recently started having a good time when out around drunk people while sober, I also did something recently which I have never done before and probably was a catalyst for being able to commit all of this to keyboard. I went clubbing with someone who was drinking and got fairly drunk, I had a good time and felt thoroughly comfortable around them. This may have been because of the particular person I was with, who I do think is rather great, but I think that I have turned a corner and am finally more comfortable with myself which may mean I shall finally be able to feel less self righteous as a personal defence mechanism.
So perhaps I finally feel comfortable with the decision I made all that while ago. It's taken time to incorporate it as part of who I am rather than having it like a hump that is all people see when I walk into a room.
So most people here will know that I don't smoke and that I no longer drink alcohol or do drugs. I've been wanting to write something about this for a little while, not that I have anything to get off of my chest, I just thought it was worthy of comment.
I quit drinking for two reasons, well that's not quite accurate but it's close enough. The main reason was that my drinking was getting out of control, I've never been one for half measures (literally or figuratively) and living alone with an Iceland store on my way home from work didn't help. I'd tried cutting down which was fine until the next time I went for the 3 for £10 deal and ended up with two empty bottles the next morning, every morning. At the same time I was also very interested in a girl who because of her cultural background and past experience didn't really trust people who had been drinking.
She introduced me to the Qur'an which has some interesting things to say about alcohol, firstly it says that alcohol (and games of chance) have benefits for man but also dangers, so it is advisable to avoid them entirely. Later it goes on to say that the consumption of alcohol makes the drinker behave in ways he would not want to otherwise and takes you away from the things which you should be doing in your life. While I appreciate the text actually means prayer and such like when it says this but it was no less true for the access course I was almost failing and the relationship which was not happening. Armed with some eloquently written thought on the subject (as well as some concerned phone calls from friends and ex-lovers) and topped off with an absolutely horrible experience at a party a week or so earlier I decided that I would indeed get the girl, kill the baddies and save the entire planet.
This was a little over two years ago. And I haven't touched a drop since. Even the free Baileys shot in the restaurant the other week. I know it's a control issue and I know that out with a friend I could probably just have a couple, and probably have a good time but once it's ok in my mind to have one I'm certain I would slip, probably slowly to start with, back into my old habits. There are a couple of my old friends who think I should start drinking again, I'm probably more fun when I'm drunk and I don't blame them for wanting to see me having a good time, I'm sure they would stop me going too far but they won't be around all of the time and I can't afford to mess up my education again. I also don't like the idea of needing someone there to keep an eye on me, that's far from the person I think I am capable of being.
The other thing keeping me from drinking again is that I have, at risk of sounding like a self righteous straight edge kid, come to spurn people who absolutely have to get shit-faced in order to have a good time and measure how good a night it was by how drunk fucked were, probably as this is far too close to home for comfort. Although that said I have only recently started having a good time when out around drunk people while sober, I also did something recently which I have never done before and probably was a catalyst for being able to commit all of this to keyboard. I went clubbing with someone who was drinking and got fairly drunk, I had a good time and felt thoroughly comfortable around them. This may have been because of the particular person I was with, who I do think is rather great, but I think that I have turned a corner and am finally more comfortable with myself which may mean I shall finally be able to feel less self righteous as a personal defence mechanism.
So perhaps I finally feel comfortable with the decision I made all that while ago. It's taken time to incorporate it as part of who I am rather than having it like a hump that is all people see when I walk into a room.