hating Binghamton
I am really not liking it here at BU. I hate dorm life. I hate not having a carpet and living with two other girls. They insist upon keeping the windows cracked open at night and I find myself freezing very often.
I had this lab practical in Anatomy and Physiology that I failed. I mean, we didn't get the grades back yet, but I know I failed it. We had to look at a brain and tell what nerve was showing, I said trochlear iv, then crossed it out and but abducens vi. It was trochlear iv. I looked at a patella bone and a clavicle and had no idea what they were, didn't look at them in lab.
All of the molarity questions I got wrong. I got the hip joint wrong and put tibiofemoral joint instead, didn't list what kind of joint it is (the hip bone is ball in socket), and just thinking back I fucked up so badly. I don't even know what my grade is yet because my teacher hasn't posted the grades. But all I know is the class came out saying how easy it was, and all I could think about was how badly I must have failed.
The following day I had a nervous breakdown. I couldn't stop crying for anything. This proceeded for 4 days. I felt like a complete nutjob. I couldn't eat anything because I kept dry heaving. All I could think was how horribly I'm doing in this class and even if I might be passing, what kind of a nurse am I going to make if I can only retain 65% of the information?
This weekend was parents weekend and as soon as they came I cried. I even spent the night with them at Econo Lodge and slept on on the extra double bed. When they left yesterday I started crying like crazy again. I don't want to be here.
I would really like to withdraw now but I'm afraid it will affect my future financial aid. I also don't know what I'm going to do after this. Do I finish my BS degree at FIT? Will they even accept me if I withdraw from here? I'm 22 fucking years old, going to be 23 in july and still don't have a Bachelor's degree. What the fuck is wrong with me?
I had this lab practical in Anatomy and Physiology that I failed. I mean, we didn't get the grades back yet, but I know I failed it. We had to look at a brain and tell what nerve was showing, I said trochlear iv, then crossed it out and but abducens vi. It was trochlear iv. I looked at a patella bone and a clavicle and had no idea what they were, didn't look at them in lab.
All of the molarity questions I got wrong. I got the hip joint wrong and put tibiofemoral joint instead, didn't list what kind of joint it is (the hip bone is ball in socket), and just thinking back I fucked up so badly. I don't even know what my grade is yet because my teacher hasn't posted the grades. But all I know is the class came out saying how easy it was, and all I could think about was how badly I must have failed.
The following day I had a nervous breakdown. I couldn't stop crying for anything. This proceeded for 4 days. I felt like a complete nutjob. I couldn't eat anything because I kept dry heaving. All I could think was how horribly I'm doing in this class and even if I might be passing, what kind of a nurse am I going to make if I can only retain 65% of the information?
This weekend was parents weekend and as soon as they came I cried. I even spent the night with them at Econo Lodge and slept on on the extra double bed. When they left yesterday I started crying like crazy again. I don't want to be here.
I would really like to withdraw now but I'm afraid it will affect my future financial aid. I also don't know what I'm going to do after this. Do I finish my BS degree at FIT? Will they even accept me if I withdraw from here? I'm 22 fucking years old, going to be 23 in july and still don't have a Bachelor's degree. What the fuck is wrong with me?