Long time no write...
What up LJ?!
It's been a long time since I've posted and I decided that I should start posting again. I've been going through some stuff and it feels like a good way to vent.
I got diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety about two years ago. Grad school was awful.
Two years under the advisement of a professor who didn't give a shit if I got my masters at 24 or 94. It was annoying. No matter what I did I couldn't get him to take me seriously. It was like I was drowning.
After months of debating whether I should stick it out or quit, I applied for a job. Got the job. And quit.
The only problem is that my job is boring as shit. I haven't used my brain in ages. I feel like I'm losing my intelligence and that's possibly the worst thing. I've always prided myself on being a fairly intelligent person, so feeling like an idiot is awful. It sends me into spirals.
I'm definitely getting better. But I don't know if depression ever leaves. And I've been anxious since I was 4 so I know that will never change. I've just had some really dark days lately, and I hope they stop. Or I hope I at least learn a better way to cope with them.
It's been a long time since I've posted and I decided that I should start posting again. I've been going through some stuff and it feels like a good way to vent.
I got diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety about two years ago. Grad school was awful.
Two years under the advisement of a professor who didn't give a shit if I got my masters at 24 or 94. It was annoying. No matter what I did I couldn't get him to take me seriously. It was like I was drowning.
After months of debating whether I should stick it out or quit, I applied for a job. Got the job. And quit.
The only problem is that my job is boring as shit. I haven't used my brain in ages. I feel like I'm losing my intelligence and that's possibly the worst thing. I've always prided myself on being a fairly intelligent person, so feeling like an idiot is awful. It sends me into spirals.
I'm definitely getting better. But I don't know if depression ever leaves. And I've been anxious since I was 4 so I know that will never change. I've just had some really dark days lately, and I hope they stop. Or I hope I at least learn a better way to cope with them.