a little poison in the veins
Man, work was so shit today. The morning was mediocre, the rain was kind of annoying, but I didn' get horrendously wet. I forgot to put detergent in the wash and so my swaetshirt smelled like rancid apples (since it was lying wet in tyhe car for 2 days).
After lunchtime, we went and helped dispose of some plants with a certain disease, which was fine. We wore these crazy white suits with little hoodies that made us look like jackasses, so that part was fun (though they weren't very breathable). But then they made us wash the contaminated pots so they could use them again. There was this giant plastic bucket filled with hypochloride (bleach stuff) that like instantly disintigrated slugs. But we wore these shit gloves that were too big and fgilled with bleach water really fast, and our white suites weren't water proof so we were wet on the inside too. All we had were these shitty goggles, so bleach water was splashing dropplets into my face and sometimes my mouth, while my arms were soaked in the water too. It was so hazardous, and not surprisingly, it was Heather (feild boss) and tewo other ladies who worked there for a long time and took a lot of abuse, as well as me and Taran and another student guy (though the other guy didn't have to be washing). So of course I got a bleach burn (ie. rash) and my jeans were all multi colored, unfortunately mostly in the crotch area (thankfully my underwear didn't get wet with bleach, or I would have suffered in all new interesting ways). I'm pretty pissed and my mom said we should just tell her we aren't going to do it unless we have proper equipment (ie. some kind of ventilator, as the fumes are really strong, proper clothes, and more than resistant gloves). Taran and I now feel pretty shitty and I am really disappointed in how they treat their manual laborer. Taran said that he talked to his doctor about the fertilizer stuff, and she was like really concerned about how they were allowing us to handle it. So I don't know... if I get actually physically ill, I am going to actually do something about it. Young people are always the most likely to get injured in the workplace because they are either subjected to unappropriate conditions or don't know what safe conditions are supposed to be anyways.
On the flip side, Danu is doing really well and getting some body fat back (since she was skin and bones when we got her form the shelter). I <3 her sooo much.
Other than that, Taran Jacob and I saw Fantastic 4 last night and it was ok. It was cheesy and shit, but Dr.Doom was cool. I've also been increasingly anxious about going back to PG. I'm so fucking nervous about how things are going to be, but I have to actually try and make my likfe full in one place at a time. Right now I have a list of desires that are only fulfilled in 2 separate places. I need to concentrate myself and not just suffer in one place for a time and wait until I can get my other desires elsewhere (while simulataneously suffereing my other losses). It's too stressful. It's too disjointing. I can't expect to live my life this way. PG is my home now, I should act like it. I'm pretty optemistic about my ability to fix things there for myself. Everytime I've been there, I have had new and/or horrible things to deal with no matter where I went. I mean, our first semester was bunk and pretty disasterous. I couldn've expected it to be great, with all the new changes, but it did go worse than I thought. Then residence was bunk. Then Colin was with us, and as much as I love Colin, it was a pretty trying time for both of us. There was no way to focus on anything in the past 3 semesters I have been there. There is always something. But now I feel so confident in my circumstances. Taran and I have our own private space, free of roomates of the likes of Dean, we have stability in eachother and a renewed vigor for school, and also the motivation to improve our life in school but also socially. We don't live in Vancouver anymore, and every time I come back here, the lines in my life get so blurred... I can't satisfy myself with the thing I have in Vancouver anymore and just hold my breath through the fall and winter. I need to focus, I need renewal.
I am also excited about my home. Now we have a cat and a real "home". I can really settle down for real. I am going to go through my things (such as boxes and suitcases) full of crap I am too much of a packrat to throw away and finally be clean of it. Plus, Value Village will be pleased. I was to settle down and make my space complete.
Anyways, we still don;t know how we're getting to PG. The cat makes it more difficult, as well as all our shit. I am sure we'll figure something out, but it still looms over me...
I feel like a little dog, waiting for that ball to be throw, so I can chase it, but it's still so far off. Anxiety and excitement buil to what seems no end/
14 days left of work
6-7 weeks to PG.
After lunchtime, we went and helped dispose of some plants with a certain disease, which was fine. We wore these crazy white suits with little hoodies that made us look like jackasses, so that part was fun (though they weren't very breathable). But then they made us wash the contaminated pots so they could use them again. There was this giant plastic bucket filled with hypochloride (bleach stuff) that like instantly disintigrated slugs. But we wore these shit gloves that were too big and fgilled with bleach water really fast, and our white suites weren't water proof so we were wet on the inside too. All we had were these shitty goggles, so bleach water was splashing dropplets into my face and sometimes my mouth, while my arms were soaked in the water too. It was so hazardous, and not surprisingly, it was Heather (feild boss) and tewo other ladies who worked there for a long time and took a lot of abuse, as well as me and Taran and another student guy (though the other guy didn't have to be washing). So of course I got a bleach burn (ie. rash) and my jeans were all multi colored, unfortunately mostly in the crotch area (thankfully my underwear didn't get wet with bleach, or I would have suffered in all new interesting ways). I'm pretty pissed and my mom said we should just tell her we aren't going to do it unless we have proper equipment (ie. some kind of ventilator, as the fumes are really strong, proper clothes, and more than resistant gloves). Taran and I now feel pretty shitty and I am really disappointed in how they treat their manual laborer. Taran said that he talked to his doctor about the fertilizer stuff, and she was like really concerned about how they were allowing us to handle it. So I don't know... if I get actually physically ill, I am going to actually do something about it. Young people are always the most likely to get injured in the workplace because they are either subjected to unappropriate conditions or don't know what safe conditions are supposed to be anyways.
On the flip side, Danu is doing really well and getting some body fat back (since she was skin and bones when we got her form the shelter). I <3 her sooo much.
Other than that, Taran Jacob and I saw Fantastic 4 last night and it was ok. It was cheesy and shit, but Dr.Doom was cool. I've also been increasingly anxious about going back to PG. I'm so fucking nervous about how things are going to be, but I have to actually try and make my likfe full in one place at a time. Right now I have a list of desires that are only fulfilled in 2 separate places. I need to concentrate myself and not just suffer in one place for a time and wait until I can get my other desires elsewhere (while simulataneously suffereing my other losses). It's too stressful. It's too disjointing. I can't expect to live my life this way. PG is my home now, I should act like it. I'm pretty optemistic about my ability to fix things there for myself. Everytime I've been there, I have had new and/or horrible things to deal with no matter where I went. I mean, our first semester was bunk and pretty disasterous. I couldn've expected it to be great, with all the new changes, but it did go worse than I thought. Then residence was bunk. Then Colin was with us, and as much as I love Colin, it was a pretty trying time for both of us. There was no way to focus on anything in the past 3 semesters I have been there. There is always something. But now I feel so confident in my circumstances. Taran and I have our own private space, free of roomates of the likes of Dean, we have stability in eachother and a renewed vigor for school, and also the motivation to improve our life in school but also socially. We don't live in Vancouver anymore, and every time I come back here, the lines in my life get so blurred... I can't satisfy myself with the thing I have in Vancouver anymore and just hold my breath through the fall and winter. I need to focus, I need renewal.
I am also excited about my home. Now we have a cat and a real "home". I can really settle down for real. I am going to go through my things (such as boxes and suitcases) full of crap I am too much of a packrat to throw away and finally be clean of it. Plus, Value Village will be pleased. I was to settle down and make my space complete.
Anyways, we still don;t know how we're getting to PG. The cat makes it more difficult, as well as all our shit. I am sure we'll figure something out, but it still looms over me...
I feel like a little dog, waiting for that ball to be throw, so I can chase it, but it's still so far off. Anxiety and excitement buil to what seems no end/
14 days left of work
6-7 weeks to PG.