oh jesus
I've come to realize that I'm never going to escape the whole "having children" issue. It's like there come these stereotypes especially when you get married at a young age. People think I'm pregnant or that I will be soon. And I am trying to prove otherwise. I mean I have goals that I want to reach before even considering having children. And so now people keep asking when we're going to have kids, and I just say, not for a long time, I have a lot of shit to do before that. And I do.
Just because I'm married doesn't mean that I am pregnant or that I will be anytime soon. And I am in no rush to have children because I still have many years ahead of me and there are so many things that I want to accomplish and settle before even considering children. I almost feel like I can't win, and am looked down on in one way or another. I feel that when I say I'm waiting or that we don't want any, that I seem selfish. But then I would be criticized for having a child and not finishing my education, and then stereotyped and just another statistic.
Sometimes it's aggravating letting people know that I'm married, because I am bombarded with questions and stereotypes about my relationship, age, and body. But I guess not all people see it that way, because although I am young and married, I am with someone I love and yes I'm childless but I am pursuing my education and keeping on track with my life goals. Marriage isn't the end of my life, its not a downfall, because I still have so many things going on for myself and so many things to look forward to, its not just about kids or about myself, it is about sharing and having a loving, supporting relationship with another humyn being. And others need to not feel so pressured to get married and settle down because it is "that time" or the "thing to do," take it slow, enjoy your life and live it on your own terms. So stop trying to pressure me or criticize me with how you define a marriage and wife/mother, because I am defining it myself and choosing how I want to represent those roles, and everyone else should do the same for themselves.
Peace.
Just because I'm married doesn't mean that I am pregnant or that I will be anytime soon. And I am in no rush to have children because I still have many years ahead of me and there are so many things that I want to accomplish and settle before even considering children. I almost feel like I can't win, and am looked down on in one way or another. I feel that when I say I'm waiting or that we don't want any, that I seem selfish. But then I would be criticized for having a child and not finishing my education, and then stereotyped and just another statistic.
Sometimes it's aggravating letting people know that I'm married, because I am bombarded with questions and stereotypes about my relationship, age, and body. But I guess not all people see it that way, because although I am young and married, I am with someone I love and yes I'm childless but I am pursuing my education and keeping on track with my life goals. Marriage isn't the end of my life, its not a downfall, because I still have so many things going on for myself and so many things to look forward to, its not just about kids or about myself, it is about sharing and having a loving, supporting relationship with another humyn being. And others need to not feel so pressured to get married and settle down because it is "that time" or the "thing to do," take it slow, enjoy your life and live it on your own terms. So stop trying to pressure me or criticize me with how you define a marriage and wife/mother, because I am defining it myself and choosing how I want to represent those roles, and everyone else should do the same for themselves.
Peace.