(no subject)
i guess the thing to do is stop trying to replace things with things. or people with people. it's ok to say it how it is. like how it's someone else's golden rule not to 'ditch' 'girl friends' for men. it's a golden rule that's reinstated every time it's broken. it's a standard.
and you know, i never break promises. never.
and it shits me that you do.
it's a fucking standard, darling.
i like to think that you can't fuck with me, but while i'm sitting there thinking about how much of a hardass i really am, how anti-girl, you're fucking with me. see, i know. and why aspire to be heartless anyway? SEE.
so we're sitting around drinking beer in a park with semi-dried tomatoes and your jeans get wet patches but my skirt doesn't, because, you know, sit like a girl. and z keeps accidentally cooking this girl dinner, at her house, at his house, because, you know, he gets hungry. you can't push someone away when you cook them dinner bi-weekly. and n is spurting doe-eyed crap about how he's falling for a girl with a trendy name that i can't spell in my head. so i hate her. he can't do this. i want people around who don't care about this. you can't outline prepared arguments about why you'll never get married and fall for someone. and then the physics girl's boyfriend turns up, and they're both lanky geeks and, the logistics are all wrong, and here i am trying not to care.
IT'S ALL ABOUT ME IN MY LITTLE WORLD, baby. ME.
do you like how i capitalise words in msn to sound like the girls i love sound in conversation? yeah. you don't understand, but i do. i am like them on msn. HA.
and the two rockabilly girls on the tram today who were hot and just. i want to be you, girls. i am not like a girl. i don't have girl friends. i'm not even a guy's girl. i'm a girl who's getting fucked over by this guy who i care more about than i should this early on, and it's not early on to anything. because it's not going anywhere, it can't GO ANYWHERE.
but soon i'm going to paradise.
and i only like seeing one band live and there's no more of that until december 8. and i'll be.. away probably. i want more music to listen to but i can't find things that grab me because i expect what things aren't.
um.
hello.
this is a load of crap but i don't care because . i need to find a new job. but i can't muster energy to pretend i'm a people person. so i will stay in this job getting paid a pittance, getting yelled at for laughing too much, having to laugh at inanities of food preparation becuase otherwise i would kill myself.
the signs at wendy's say "SMOOTHY'S". abhorrent.
and you know, i never break promises. never.
and it shits me that you do.
it's a fucking standard, darling.
i like to think that you can't fuck with me, but while i'm sitting there thinking about how much of a hardass i really am, how anti-girl, you're fucking with me. see, i know. and why aspire to be heartless anyway? SEE.
so we're sitting around drinking beer in a park with semi-dried tomatoes and your jeans get wet patches but my skirt doesn't, because, you know, sit like a girl. and z keeps accidentally cooking this girl dinner, at her house, at his house, because, you know, he gets hungry. you can't push someone away when you cook them dinner bi-weekly. and n is spurting doe-eyed crap about how he's falling for a girl with a trendy name that i can't spell in my head. so i hate her. he can't do this. i want people around who don't care about this. you can't outline prepared arguments about why you'll never get married and fall for someone. and then the physics girl's boyfriend turns up, and they're both lanky geeks and, the logistics are all wrong, and here i am trying not to care.
IT'S ALL ABOUT ME IN MY LITTLE WORLD, baby. ME.
do you like how i capitalise words in msn to sound like the girls i love sound in conversation? yeah. you don't understand, but i do. i am like them on msn. HA.
and the two rockabilly girls on the tram today who were hot and just. i want to be you, girls. i am not like a girl. i don't have girl friends. i'm not even a guy's girl. i'm a girl who's getting fucked over by this guy who i care more about than i should this early on, and it's not early on to anything. because it's not going anywhere, it can't GO ANYWHERE.
but soon i'm going to paradise.
and i only like seeing one band live and there's no more of that until december 8. and i'll be.. away probably. i want more music to listen to but i can't find things that grab me because i expect what things aren't.
um.
hello.
this is a load of crap but i don't care because . i need to find a new job. but i can't muster energy to pretend i'm a people person. so i will stay in this job getting paid a pittance, getting yelled at for laughing too much, having to laugh at inanities of food preparation becuase otherwise i would kill myself.
the signs at wendy's say "SMOOTHY'S". abhorrent.