Keep my mind off the edge - Part 2
Title: KEEP MY MIND OFF THE EDGE
Pairing/Characters: Adam/Tommy
Rating (Word Count): PG 1880
Warning(s): None
Summary: Adam and Tommy are finding their ways back to each other.
***
It was an endless night for Adam. [Read more]He downed several bottles but still, the picture of Tommy pinning the girl down was still there to haunt him. He couldn’t find peace in the liquid. The more he drank, the more memory came rushing back. He went out for an escape, not for this.
‘Mind if I join you?’ - A strange voice sounded so close to him.
‘Sorry, I need some privacy’
‘Alright.’
Adam looked over his shoulder to see the stranger. It strikes him that the guy looked like Tommy’s duplicate, without the shaved side, and that guy was kinda taller than Tommy.
Adam blinked a few times before he managed to function properly again.
‘Tommy?’
‘No, darling, Ken… Ken Johnson’
Ken offered his hand for a handshake. Adam hesitates a bit, he couldn’t break his eye contact with Ken. He could feel warmth approaching his cheek as Ken’s fingers caressing his cheek, ‘You look so sad, darling!’
‘I’m fine.’ - Adam closed his eyes, let the touch ghost on his skin.
‘Care to share?’ - Ken sat down on the stool next to Adam.
Suddenly, Adam grabbed Ken’s wrist, still looked straight into his eyes, and he closed the gap between them with a kiss. It was pretty hot, Adam must admit. He opened his mouth, invited Ken to join the tongue dancing party. As a habit, Adam peeked during the kiss to look at his partner. He was back to reality in an instance, it was not Tommy. He signed, broke the kiss immediately, which brought the confusion to Ken’s expression.
‘What’s wrong, baby?’
Adam held his hands up, closed his eyes shut and let out a deep sigh, ‘I’m sorry, that was a mistake.’
Ken smirked, ‘I guess, cause I’m so irresistible, right?’ He finished his sentence with a wink.
It helped. As Adam wouldn’t feel so horrible then, he thought Ken was an amazing guy to hang out with, that dude just showed up in a wrong time now.
‘just had a fight with your man?’
Adam shot a hesitant look to Ken. He knew he was an open book. But tonight he didn’t feel like opening his pages to anyone, absolutely no. why on earth should people want to read a book at this very moment of the night?
‘we are fine, no worries.’
Ken dig out his phone, ‘What’s your number?’
He was so ready to dial, but nothing happened, he couldn’t believe the guy right there next to him was such an idiot, a coward guy, a… a…whatever negative adjective one can come up with to describe an unwanted boyfriend. Ken was about to repeat the question when Adam stared at him,
‘My number? What for?’
His unbelievably innocent reaction cracked Ken up. ‘You really want an answer? isn’t it too obvious?’
Just then, Adam looked like he was just banged in the head, ‘I don’t do hook-up, ok?’ he shouted, yanked on Ken’s shirt. Everyone turned to the noise at his corner and Craig had to come over to soothe him down.
‘What’s up, gorgeous?’, it seemed he was surprised to see Ken there with him, ‘You guys know each other?’, he winced.
‘Stop messing around with me!’, Adam told the other two guys through his clenched teeth, he slammed the note on the table and stormed out of the bar without a word.
-------------
Tommy was over the moon when he opened the door. Mission accomplished! He told himself, he was whistling all the way to his room when Dia suddenly peeked out from her room.
‘You look content!’, she was indeed wearing a satisfying smile on her face.
Tommy slightly patted on her shoulder, “good night, Mom!’ and he disappeared right away to his room. He couldn’t wait to tell Adam about Shannon and the whole sperm donation thingy. He found himself giggling at the idea of “making” a baby for another couple. That would be so much fun and he was stoked. Tonight wasn’t so bad, he thought, they were meant to meet each other. Things happen for a reason, that’s what Adam always told him. He felt something good was right there, waiting for him, for Shannon and her partner, and for Adam as well.
His thumbs were trembling when he texted Adam. It was not because he was nervous, yet it was all those joy that prevented him from controlling himself. There was no blind date, there would be no forced wedding, and none of the things he was feared of would happen at all. That was such a positive scenario, wasn’t it? Right now he needed to tell someone about it or he would die of overjoy.
5 minutes passed. No reply from Adam.
10minutes. Still no signals of him.
Tommy slapped his forehead. Good news like this should be delivered directly through voice call, not via texting. How come he didn’t think of that option?
‘The person you have called is unavailable, please try again later’
The voice at the other end of the line wasn’t Adam’s. He dialed again. The same female spoke to him. He crossed his legs on the bed. Adam never turned off his mobile, he knew damn well he would have calls from anyone, although he did have his phone off sometimes, in the past, when they needed privacy, but definitely not now. Maybe something had gone wrong. He felt there were a lot of butterflies in his stomach. Oh God!
He told himself to stay calm and ran through his contact list, someone must have some clues where Adam was and what he was doing. Sutan? Ashley? Brian?
‘Hey man, how was the date?’ - Ashley picked up the phone immediately, Tommy could tell she was wowing and all kind of excited about his dating.
‘was cool. How’s the rehearsal?’ - Tommy didn’t want to mention Adam the first thing so he made some questions instead.
‘So weird you know. Adam didn’t focus at all. I’ve never seen him behaved like that. Like a little kid whose puppy just died.’
Tommy heard her laughter, he cleared his throat to gain her attention. It was a big deal now.
‘Did you see him after that? I’ve been trying to contact him, but uhm…no hope’
‘He said we would continue the rehearsal tomorrow.’
‘really? Okay.’
‘He’s a big boy. You know. So, how’s your girl?’
‘It was fun. will have another date.’
‘have to tell me everything when you’re back, dude!’
‘sure. Talk later.’
‘bye.’
Not so bad. Tommy thought. But it wouldn’t be alright, he felt. There must be something wrong with Adam. He would never act like that. Focusing and present in a rehearsal is rule number one in Adam’s band. He couldn’t go against his own rule. No way.
Tommy lied on his back, looking up at the ceiling. Right now he couldn’t tell why he was holding his breath, he was considering going back to their place to check on Adam. But it sounded ridiculous to him just one second after the thought. He must have faith in him. Yes. Adam might just be somewhere chilling with his friends.
After a while, he was gone into a nice and promising dream…
------------
Adam knew he was out of his mind when bringing all that attention to himself at the bar. It was not on stage, he didn’t need that jam. Being out tonight alone wasn’t a bright idea. He should have called Sutan.
‘Crap!’
Now he realized how insane he was, his phone was in pieces. Wasn’t it ironical when the minute he thought he would call a company and his phone was already broken!
‘Home! Okay. I will just head home.’
It was not the first time Adam felt so moody. He searched the fridge for a bottle of whiskey. Maybe some more booze can help him doze off. He sat there in the kitchen drinking in the dark. Only some weak dims of street lights found their ways through the window to his hands. Was he so sensitive or was it true that he had seen all of these scenes before, somewhere, somehow? The glass slipped off his hand unconsciously and Adam was off to a dream, which has been replayed several times this week..
In his dream…5 years ago…
'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass
I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong
'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space and now you're home
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along
Mirror - Justin Timberlake
‘Hey, baby’ - Tommy circled his arms around Adam’s waist from behind and laid a soft kiss on his cheek.
‘You’re back.’ - Adam caressed the hand which was holding him tight.
He turned over, cupped Tommy’s face with both hands. They were reading deep into each other’s soul. A two - week break seemed like forever for this passionate couple.
‘How you doing?’ - Tommy broke the silence, not the eye contact.
‘Miss you like crazy.’ - Adam put on the puppy face, his smoking gray eyes reflected all the genuine emotion he had been keeping to himself during the time his partner was not around.
Tommy stood on his toes and planted sweet kisses over his forehead, closed Adam’s eyes with his soft lips. He stopped half way on his cheeks, Tommy spent a minute or two inhaling his favourite scent in the world.
Adam lifted him up on the table, standing between Tommy’s legs. Tommy was holding onto the hem of his shirt, his fingers brushing the bare skin peeking out under the fabric. The sensation just turned him on. Simple like that.
Tommy snuggled up to Adam, he licked Adam’s lips for an entrance. Adam responded by stealing his tongue and started all his favourite tricks which he knew damn well can earn a satisfying moan from his lover and make his knees buckle.
‘Gosh, it’s never enough.’ Adam panted between kisses.
Tommy pushed his hair to one side, they were both touching each other in a most gentle manner, like the other one would vanish under their touch.
Tommy kissed him again, while Adam’s hands found their way to his ass, he squeezed him hard, make Tommy’s fingers dig deep in his bare skin. With one move, he carried his man to the bed.
---
Adam woke up sweating all over his face. The dream calmed him down since it brought him back to those sweet moment, yet at the same time it felt like someone just stabbed through his - not - too - fragile heart.
‘Fuck! Stop messing with my mind!’ He cursed under his breath.
Adam rummaged through his closet for a new pair of clothes. Some hot bath would be ideal therapy for him at this moment. He went straight to the bathroom, turn faucet on and let those drips of water slides down his skin, to somehow ease his pain.
-----
Pairing/Characters: Adam/Tommy
Rating (Word Count): PG 1880
Warning(s): None
Summary: Adam and Tommy are finding their ways back to each other.
***
It was an endless night for Adam. [Read more]He downed several bottles but still, the picture of Tommy pinning the girl down was still there to haunt him. He couldn’t find peace in the liquid. The more he drank, the more memory came rushing back. He went out for an escape, not for this.
‘Mind if I join you?’ - A strange voice sounded so close to him.
‘Sorry, I need some privacy’
‘Alright.’
Adam looked over his shoulder to see the stranger. It strikes him that the guy looked like Tommy’s duplicate, without the shaved side, and that guy was kinda taller than Tommy.
Adam blinked a few times before he managed to function properly again.
‘Tommy?’
‘No, darling, Ken… Ken Johnson’
Ken offered his hand for a handshake. Adam hesitates a bit, he couldn’t break his eye contact with Ken. He could feel warmth approaching his cheek as Ken’s fingers caressing his cheek, ‘You look so sad, darling!’
‘I’m fine.’ - Adam closed his eyes, let the touch ghost on his skin.
‘Care to share?’ - Ken sat down on the stool next to Adam.
Suddenly, Adam grabbed Ken’s wrist, still looked straight into his eyes, and he closed the gap between them with a kiss. It was pretty hot, Adam must admit. He opened his mouth, invited Ken to join the tongue dancing party. As a habit, Adam peeked during the kiss to look at his partner. He was back to reality in an instance, it was not Tommy. He signed, broke the kiss immediately, which brought the confusion to Ken’s expression.
‘What’s wrong, baby?’
Adam held his hands up, closed his eyes shut and let out a deep sigh, ‘I’m sorry, that was a mistake.’
Ken smirked, ‘I guess, cause I’m so irresistible, right?’ He finished his sentence with a wink.
It helped. As Adam wouldn’t feel so horrible then, he thought Ken was an amazing guy to hang out with, that dude just showed up in a wrong time now.
‘just had a fight with your man?’
Adam shot a hesitant look to Ken. He knew he was an open book. But tonight he didn’t feel like opening his pages to anyone, absolutely no. why on earth should people want to read a book at this very moment of the night?
‘we are fine, no worries.’
Ken dig out his phone, ‘What’s your number?’
He was so ready to dial, but nothing happened, he couldn’t believe the guy right there next to him was such an idiot, a coward guy, a… a…whatever negative adjective one can come up with to describe an unwanted boyfriend. Ken was about to repeat the question when Adam stared at him,
‘My number? What for?’
His unbelievably innocent reaction cracked Ken up. ‘You really want an answer? isn’t it too obvious?’
Just then, Adam looked like he was just banged in the head, ‘I don’t do hook-up, ok?’ he shouted, yanked on Ken’s shirt. Everyone turned to the noise at his corner and Craig had to come over to soothe him down.
‘What’s up, gorgeous?’, it seemed he was surprised to see Ken there with him, ‘You guys know each other?’, he winced.
‘Stop messing around with me!’, Adam told the other two guys through his clenched teeth, he slammed the note on the table and stormed out of the bar without a word.
-------------
Tommy was over the moon when he opened the door. Mission accomplished! He told himself, he was whistling all the way to his room when Dia suddenly peeked out from her room.
‘You look content!’, she was indeed wearing a satisfying smile on her face.
Tommy slightly patted on her shoulder, “good night, Mom!’ and he disappeared right away to his room. He couldn’t wait to tell Adam about Shannon and the whole sperm donation thingy. He found himself giggling at the idea of “making” a baby for another couple. That would be so much fun and he was stoked. Tonight wasn’t so bad, he thought, they were meant to meet each other. Things happen for a reason, that’s what Adam always told him. He felt something good was right there, waiting for him, for Shannon and her partner, and for Adam as well.
His thumbs were trembling when he texted Adam. It was not because he was nervous, yet it was all those joy that prevented him from controlling himself. There was no blind date, there would be no forced wedding, and none of the things he was feared of would happen at all. That was such a positive scenario, wasn’t it? Right now he needed to tell someone about it or he would die of overjoy.
5 minutes passed. No reply from Adam.
10minutes. Still no signals of him.
Tommy slapped his forehead. Good news like this should be delivered directly through voice call, not via texting. How come he didn’t think of that option?
‘The person you have called is unavailable, please try again later’
The voice at the other end of the line wasn’t Adam’s. He dialed again. The same female spoke to him. He crossed his legs on the bed. Adam never turned off his mobile, he knew damn well he would have calls from anyone, although he did have his phone off sometimes, in the past, when they needed privacy, but definitely not now. Maybe something had gone wrong. He felt there were a lot of butterflies in his stomach. Oh God!
He told himself to stay calm and ran through his contact list, someone must have some clues where Adam was and what he was doing. Sutan? Ashley? Brian?
‘Hey man, how was the date?’ - Ashley picked up the phone immediately, Tommy could tell she was wowing and all kind of excited about his dating.
‘was cool. How’s the rehearsal?’ - Tommy didn’t want to mention Adam the first thing so he made some questions instead.
‘So weird you know. Adam didn’t focus at all. I’ve never seen him behaved like that. Like a little kid whose puppy just died.’
Tommy heard her laughter, he cleared his throat to gain her attention. It was a big deal now.
‘Did you see him after that? I’ve been trying to contact him, but uhm…no hope’
‘He said we would continue the rehearsal tomorrow.’
‘really? Okay.’
‘He’s a big boy. You know. So, how’s your girl?’
‘It was fun. will have another date.’
‘have to tell me everything when you’re back, dude!’
‘sure. Talk later.’
‘bye.’
Not so bad. Tommy thought. But it wouldn’t be alright, he felt. There must be something wrong with Adam. He would never act like that. Focusing and present in a rehearsal is rule number one in Adam’s band. He couldn’t go against his own rule. No way.
Tommy lied on his back, looking up at the ceiling. Right now he couldn’t tell why he was holding his breath, he was considering going back to their place to check on Adam. But it sounded ridiculous to him just one second after the thought. He must have faith in him. Yes. Adam might just be somewhere chilling with his friends.
After a while, he was gone into a nice and promising dream…
------------
Adam knew he was out of his mind when bringing all that attention to himself at the bar. It was not on stage, he didn’t need that jam. Being out tonight alone wasn’t a bright idea. He should have called Sutan.
‘Crap!’
Now he realized how insane he was, his phone was in pieces. Wasn’t it ironical when the minute he thought he would call a company and his phone was already broken!
‘Home! Okay. I will just head home.’
It was not the first time Adam felt so moody. He searched the fridge for a bottle of whiskey. Maybe some more booze can help him doze off. He sat there in the kitchen drinking in the dark. Only some weak dims of street lights found their ways through the window to his hands. Was he so sensitive or was it true that he had seen all of these scenes before, somewhere, somehow? The glass slipped off his hand unconsciously and Adam was off to a dream, which has been replayed several times this week..
In his dream…5 years ago…
'Cause with your hand in my hand and a pocket full of soul
I can tell you there's no place we couldn't go
Just put your hand on the glass
I'll be tryin' to pull you through
You just gotta be strong
'Cause I don't wanna lose you now
I'm lookin' right at the other half of me
The vacancy that sat in my heart
Is a space and now you're home
Show me how to fight for now
And I'll tell you, baby, it was easy
Comin' back here to you once I figured it out
You were right here all along
Mirror - Justin Timberlake
‘Hey, baby’ - Tommy circled his arms around Adam’s waist from behind and laid a soft kiss on his cheek.
‘You’re back.’ - Adam caressed the hand which was holding him tight.
He turned over, cupped Tommy’s face with both hands. They were reading deep into each other’s soul. A two - week break seemed like forever for this passionate couple.
‘How you doing?’ - Tommy broke the silence, not the eye contact.
‘Miss you like crazy.’ - Adam put on the puppy face, his smoking gray eyes reflected all the genuine emotion he had been keeping to himself during the time his partner was not around.
Tommy stood on his toes and planted sweet kisses over his forehead, closed Adam’s eyes with his soft lips. He stopped half way on his cheeks, Tommy spent a minute or two inhaling his favourite scent in the world.
Adam lifted him up on the table, standing between Tommy’s legs. Tommy was holding onto the hem of his shirt, his fingers brushing the bare skin peeking out under the fabric. The sensation just turned him on. Simple like that.
Tommy snuggled up to Adam, he licked Adam’s lips for an entrance. Adam responded by stealing his tongue and started all his favourite tricks which he knew damn well can earn a satisfying moan from his lover and make his knees buckle.
‘Gosh, it’s never enough.’ Adam panted between kisses.
Tommy pushed his hair to one side, they were both touching each other in a most gentle manner, like the other one would vanish under their touch.
Tommy kissed him again, while Adam’s hands found their way to his ass, he squeezed him hard, make Tommy’s fingers dig deep in his bare skin. With one move, he carried his man to the bed.
---
Adam woke up sweating all over his face. The dream calmed him down since it brought him back to those sweet moment, yet at the same time it felt like someone just stabbed through his - not - too - fragile heart.
‘Fuck! Stop messing with my mind!’ He cursed under his breath.
Adam rummaged through his closet for a new pair of clothes. Some hot bath would be ideal therapy for him at this moment. He went straight to the bathroom, turn faucet on and let those drips of water slides down his skin, to somehow ease his pain.
-----