I am the finest of assholes
So, on a whim, I tried out for the next play that Civic is putting on. The same day that the summer children's show I stage managed closed. Yeah yeah, out of the frying pan and all that. At the time, I thought I was doing the director a favor. Well, as of the "audition" tonight, I have the part. And what a part it is! Some of you remember how all the characters I played in high school were essentially the same one-dimensional, professional, middle-aged jack-ass. Well, this guy is the same, except he's a vocal mysogynist and a racist. I have lines like, "It's the woman's fault, always," and, "I do not read!" Oh, also, it's the second-lead part, so I do a lot of talking about how hideous I am. This play will do a lot for my image, I tell you.
The other fun part: The lead in the play, my wife, has not yet been cast. Natalie Flamm was going to play her, but she had to back out on account of some bullshit wedding she's the bride in. So Stuart Wegner, the director, is frantically searching for an actress. I've had this problem before: A plum part, and nobody will play my wife. Please don't let this happen again, my fragile ego can't take it. If you or anybody you even remotely know is in her early twenties, attractive, and a decent actress, please alert me or Stuart as soon as possible.
Oh, right, the play. It's called "The Underpants." Originally written by Carl Sternheim in 1910, it was recently adapted by Steve Martin. It's very funny and quite ribald. Certainly not for children, but people I know will love it. The performances are every weekend in September. Please come see it; I'm already quite proud of the show.
The other fun part: The lead in the play, my wife, has not yet been cast. Natalie Flamm was going to play her, but she had to back out on account of some bullshit wedding she's the bride in. So Stuart Wegner, the director, is frantically searching for an actress. I've had this problem before: A plum part, and nobody will play my wife. Please don't let this happen again, my fragile ego can't take it. If you or anybody you even remotely know is in her early twenties, attractive, and a decent actress, please alert me or Stuart as soon as possible.
Oh, right, the play. It's called "The Underpants." Originally written by Carl Sternheim in 1910, it was recently adapted by Steve Martin. It's very funny and quite ribald. Certainly not for children, but people I know will love it. The performances are every weekend in September. Please come see it; I'm already quite proud of the show.