use me to use you
i think this is a dream i had.
or maybe something my mind made up.
with the lack of sleep i've been having,
i often get dilusional.
if i had a real inspiration, and a better sense of perfect grammar, i could possibly take interest in being a writer.
i'm a little girl, maybe eight years old, running through the woods. away from these bad men and older boys. at first, i think it's a game. so i'm laughing, but then they start chasing me, and i start running faster and faster. twigs are catching on my dress and scratching my arms. i'm crying so hard my vision is blurred. i have no idea where i'm going, how to get out of these woods, or why i'm even there. all around me are trees and leaves. i feel weak, it's because of my fear, and now my legs feel like spaghetti, it's so hard to stand, let alone run. i know they could find me, they probably know these woods better than i could try to figure out. there's no places to hide, i need to stop, i need to get air back in my lungs before i pass out and get caught. i feel trapped. after almost falling flat on my face because i tripped, i stop and lean against a tree, "a tree!" i think, drawing conclusions in my head, "i can climb it to see if there's a clearing and which direction it's in." i start to climb, i hear them and then i realize, if i get in the tree and they find me... i'm done for, there's no way out, but i have no choice because i'm already in it and they are so close i can hear the leaves and twigs snap under their feet. i try my hardest to be quiet, but it's always these situations where it seems like you breathe the loudest. i cover my mouth and nose and watch as they search for me. walking in different directions. they start to walk off and i move my leg up for balance, but my shoe slips and one of the boys hears. he looks in the trees and into my eyes. he's scared. he grabs a rock and throws it as far as he can away from my tree. the others follow the noise, he motions for me to get out of the tree. i get stuck, he tells me to jump. i attempt to jump, but it was more or less of a fall. i land in his arms. i look at him and almost cry. his eyes, i've seen his eyes before. he tells me to run towards my right until the clearing and hide behind the oak tree, then he will come back and find me. we hear them coming, he pushes me away. i run without looking back. tears streaming down my face, i have to get out. is it safe to trust him? too late now, i have to. these trees just keep coming, i don't see any clearing, but i keep going. jumping over roots, running through the branches with bloody cuts everywhere stinging unbareably. i see the clearing now. there's a road that goes on forever, or so it seems. it's dark out, i can't tell if it's nighttime or if it's going to rain, it smells like it's about to rain though. i hide behind the oak tree, but i feel like i'm too out in the open, so i try to climb, but the branch is too high for me. i jump over and over, trying to reach, i fail each time. the tears begin again, i try one last time, and i barely grip the bark on it, i feel it start to rip off so i use my other hand to grab the other side of the branch, now hanging by both arms i wrap my legs around it and let go of my hands and the bark falls in my eyes, as if i needed any more pain. hanging upside down i wipe my hands off and then get a hold of the branch again. now the hard part, flipping over without slipping off. i finally get situated, and wait there for what seems like forever. it starts raining, hard. pounding on my tear stained cheeks, saturating my torn up dress, and tangling up my messy hair. i feel dead, my stomach is eating itself, i'm so sore and tired. when i look at something it's like everything around it goes black. loss of control happens now. i pass out, and fall out of the tree. nothing is broken, but i'm unconcious. luckily he came for me. he carried me somewhere far far away. and layed me in a bed, and took care of me. why? those eyes, the first thing i see when i come to, burning through me.
explaination: possibly, the reason why i'm not completely gay? maybe.