Help from Unexpected Places: The Siege, pt 2

May 20, 2008 19:56

Previous parts are here.



The Siege 2

John was surprised Elizabeth hadn’t yelled at him. She knew about the Wraith, but she hadn’t mentioned it to him yet, either to blame or thank.

He trailed her into the control room as Rodney came down from the Jumper bay above. “Welcome back, Rodney.”

“Where are we?” he asked, automatically moving to the scanner console.

“Our scanners show the hive ships have started moving again, although their pace has slowed considerably.” Elizabeth joined him, eyeing the path of the ships.

“Obviously you gave them something to think about,” John offered.

“If they get here in two hours or two days, doesn't change the fact that we're out of options. We can't hope to fight them. So unless either of you have any more ideas. . .” Elizabeth glanced from John to Rodney and back.

Ford came in, glancing from Elizabeth and Rodney to John. “The last group is assembled and ready for evac.”

“All right then,” Elizabeth said. “Let's get this done.” She turned to her laptop; John went to another one.

“Ready?”

John nodded, setting the self-destruct. Elizabeth matched it on her end, flinching despite herself when the alarm started blaring.

“Self-destruct is armed. Prepare to load the virus into the Ancient mainframe. Rodney, dial the alpha site.”

“Dialing.”

Alice drifted towards his console, watching as he dialed. “Incoming,” she murmured, a second before the ‘Gate activated.

“We've got an incoming wormhole,” Rodney said in surprise. “Receiving IDC.”

“Who is it?” John asked.

“Stargate Command,” he said disbelievingly.

“Are you sure?”

“Confirmed,” Alice told him as McKay said, “Positive!”

“Lower the shield,” Elizabeth said, turning to the rail. Rodney lowered the shield and followed John towards the ‘Gate room.

Ford was already there, watching as a group of Marines came through, carrying boxes. Most of them ignored him; he saluted the leader, getting a nod in response.

“Doctor Weir?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Colonel Dillon Everett, United States Marine Corps.”

“You should know that we-”

“General O'Neill sends his compliments on a job well done under extraordinary circumstances,” he interrupted, saluting without enthusiasm. “You are relieved.”

“Sir, we're about to evacuate,” John protested.

“Without a fight,” Everett clarified.

John hesitated, glancing at Elizabeth. “Yes, sir.”

“On my order,” Elizabeth added.

“That evacuation order is rescinded. I assume you've armed the self-destruct device?”

“Yes, we have, but as Doctor Weir was trying to tell you-”

“I am going to need you to disarm it immediately.”

Elizabeth shook her head, fed up. “Hold on a second, Colonel. I don't think you fully grasp our situation here.”

“You have three Wraith hive ships bearing down on your position and precious little to defend yourselves with,” Everett said over-patiently. “That about sum it up?”

“You got our message,” Rodney realized.

“We got your message,” he agreed.

“It's down to two hive ships,” Elizabeth told him. “We managed to destroy one.”

“Good for you! That should make my job a little easier.”

“What exactly is your job, sir?” John asked.

“I should think that would be obvious to you by now, Major. We are going to defend Atlantis at all costs.”

“I don’t think I like him,” Alice muttered. “John, if we’re going to fight now maybe you could turn off the self-destruct? I’d rather not blow up or be erased.”

He waved her to silence, watching as Everett passed his orders to Elizabeth. “Signed by General O'Neill.”

Elizabeth scanned the sheet. John read the first couple of lines over her shoulder, enough to know it was legit.

“Colonel, it's not that we don't appreciate the thought,” he said carefully. “But if you had read the report on the armada that's headed this way, you'd know that there's not much we can do about it.”

“Oh, I've read your report cover to cover, Major.”

“He really doesn’t like you, does he?” Alice asked.

“Must have found a Zed-PM,” Rodney was saying. “That's the only way they could have dialed in from Earth.”

“It was discovered in Egypt by a group of archaeologists,” Everett told him. “Damn thing's been under our noses the whole time.”

“Fantastic! Wa- Wait a minute. How can you possibly bring the Zed-PM back here? I mean, you need it to maintain the wormhole.”

“As we speak, it is being transported up to the Daedalus, our new battle cruiser.”

“Oh, sister ship to the Prometheus. I didn't even know it was finished.”

“You have battle ships? Why aren’t there any of those here?” Alice asked, frowning. John rolled his eyes at her, trying to look as though he was listening to Everett.

“With a ZPM boosting her engine, she should be here inside of four days. That is how long we have to hold this base. Major Sheppard, dial Pegasus alpha site, recall all military personnel; as well, any civilians who'd like to return and help take part in damage control are welcome to do so.” He started towards the steps; John rolled his eyes to Alice again and followed him. “And when you're done with that, please join me in my offices and conference room. We'll discuss our tactical position.”

“Colonel Everett!” Elizabeth called from below. “Fine, you're in charge. But I should be at that briefing.”

“When it comes down to any other aspect of Atlantis, I will be happy to include you. We're talking about our tactical position.”

“I understand that-”

“Good! Somebody want to please turn off that self-destruct!”

John lingered for a moment, looking helplessly down at Elizabeth. She waved him away resignedly and he followed Everett towards the conference room, pausing just outside. “Alice? Any of his men have the gene?”

“No. Still just you.”

“Stick around.”

“Always do.”

Elizabeth caught up to him. “We need to turn off the self-destruct, Major.”

“Good, I was about to do it myself,” Alice muttered. John raised an eyebrow at her and she added, “No, I can’t really do that. But I can annoy you until you do.”

He grimaced at her, turning to the nearest laptop to enter his codes. The alarm shut off and he glanced at Elizabeth. “I need to call the Alpha Site.”

“Not yet. I want to talk to him first.”

“Elizabeth...”

“Just let me talk to him, John.”

Everett was studying a schematic of the city when they came in: John ignored the faintly disapproving look, falling into a loose at-ease stance. “Self-destruct has been aborted.”

“Thank you. Did you contact the alpha site?”

John glanced at Elizabeth, who answered on his behalf. “I asked Major Sheppard to wait until I had a chance to talk with you.”

“Is that a fact.”

“Yes, sir,” John said.

“Major, dial the alpha site.”

Elizabeth halted him. “Colonel, you've been here all of five minutes. Now, I have been responsible for the lives of the people on this base, both military and civilian, for the past several months. I'm not about to put those lives in jeopardy until I at least know how you intend to defend this city.”

“I don't need to explain myself to you, Doctor, and I don't need your cooperation.”

“But you could probably use mine,” John said easily. “Sir. So with all due respect, please answer Doctor Weir's question.”

“Is that a threat, Major?”

“Careful, John,” Alice warned him. “He’s only looking for a reason to get rid of you.”

“No, sir,” John said, slightly more politely. “I understand you need to establish a clear chain of command. But if you cut Doctor Weir out of the loop, you'll only alienate the people whose trust and respect she's earned, which is everyone on the base. Including me.”

“Is that a fact.” He took a moment to study them. “Have a seat.”

Alice trailed John, standing beside him when he sat. “This is not a nice man,” she muttered.

“Six naquadah-enhanced nuclear warheads, twelve hundred megatons apiece,” Everett began. “They emit almost zero EM and are otherwise invisible to radar. Once deployed, they will detonate by proximity fuse.”

“Space mines?” Ford guessed.

“That's right. We use jumpers in stealth mode to place them in a pattern between the armada and Atlantis. Major, we were hoping you could help us with that.”

“Yes, but I recommend keeping a couple in reserve.”

“Negative,” Everett said. “We're only going to get one shot at this.”

“We have to consider the possibility-”

“Four of my men are pilots,” Everett interrupted him again. “Beckett is giving them the gene innoculation right now. Assuming it takes, you will familiarize them with the jumpers, and they will become our fighter screen.”

“Along with me,” he agreed.

“I have another job for you. I understand that this base is equipped with a chair weapons platform like the one we found in Antarctica.”

“Yes, but we have no way of powering it,” Elizabeth said.

“We do now. We brought a Mark II naquadah generator.”

“We found a way to increase the power output by six hundred percent,” one of his Marines explained. “It won't last nearly as long, but should be able to power the chair for as long as we need it to.”

“This is beginning to sound like a plan.”

“I'm glad you approve. We know this is a long shot, but like I said, all we have to do is hold out until the Daedalus gets here. Then we can use the ZPM to power the city shield. Any questions? All right then. Now that Doctor Weir has been informed of our plans, I would greatly appreciate it if you'd execute my order and contact the alpha site.”

“Yes, sir,” John agreed, rising to his feet.

“And Major?” Everett added. “This is the last time I give you an order twice.”

“Understood.”

Until the gene took in Everett’s pilots John had very little to do; he walked the city, watching as the guns were installed, armed and tested, and as work began on the chair.

“You don’t like Everett much, do you,” he murmured.

“He doesn’t like me. He doesn’t see the City, just a base. Something useful to him.”

“He hasn’t had much time yet.”

“Time won’t make a difference. Not to that one.”

“He’s still my commander, Alice.”

“Yes. You have to follow his orders. I will follow yours.”

John nodded, sighing. “His pilots’ll be ready by now.”

“Yes,” she agreed. “They are on line.” Off his look, she added, “The artificial gene is never as strong as the real one. You’re still the only one to see me.”

“Good,” he muttered, turning away and heading for the nearest transporter.

“Can you talk to the other ‘Jumpers?” he asked later, leading the fleet out of the city.

“Well enough. Less as we spread out. Why?”

“Because the first time any of them saw a ‘Jumper was half an hour ago. I want to know if they’re having problems.”

Alice nodded, eyeing his HUD. “Will this plan work?”

“Should do. The mines are strong enough...”

“Three’s drifting.”

John tapped his communicator. “Jumper Three! You’re drifting out of line.”

“Sorry, sir,” the Marine called. His ‘Jumper slid back into line.

“Better. Watch your HUD.” He clicked the communicator back off. “The mines are strong enough to hurt the ships, at least.”

“As long as they don’t deviate from their course,” Alice pointed out. “You have only enough to cover this approach.”

“The Wraith want the City. This is the way they’ll be coming.” Flicking on his communicator again, he said, “All right, we’re nearing drop point. Everyone spread out.”

They were almost back to the City when Alice said conversationally, “The Chair’s running.”

“Good,” John said absently.

“But there are almost no drones. Less than four dozen.”

“How did that happen?”

“They were used in the war. When the People knew they were leaving, they stopped replacing them.” She glanced away. “Sensors are picking up something else...John, get to Control. Fast.”

The alarm was blaring when the ‘Jumper landed; John left the pilots behind, running for the control room.

“What's going on?” he demanded, skidding to a halt beside Rodney.

“We just detected a wave of - objects approaching the planet,” Elizabeth told him.

“How many?” Everett demanded.

“Hundred plus,” one of the techs told him.

“How come they weren't detected by the long-range sensors?” John asked, watching Alice boost herself up to sit on the console.

“Because they're rocks,” Rodney said absently. “Asteroids. The Wraith must have harvested them from the system's asteroid belt and accelerated them towards us from a safe distance. The mainframe's taken this long to determine that they were a threat.”

“Can they do much damage?” Elizabeth asked.

“Oh yeah. Even if most of them burn up in the atmosphere, but that's not why they're doing it.”

“They're headed toward the mines,” Everett realized.

“Well, can they be deactivated?” John asked.

“No.”

“That was smart,” Alice murmured, leaning over precariously to watch the screen. The asteroids careened into the mines; the screen blanked out and Alice frowned, shaking her head. “John, my long range sensors are all down.”

“Well. That's that.” Rodney pushed away from the screen, eyeing Everett. “Your mines make one hell of a bang, Colonel; I'm sure the Wraith's ears are ringing.”

“What's the status of the hive ships?” John demanded.

“Sensors are down,” Alice reminded him, overlapping with Rodney’s, “There's no way of knowing. The mine detonation must have overloaded the sensors.”

“How long till they're back up?” Everett asked.

“There's a lot of residual radiation,” the tech pointed out.

“It'll keep us blind for hours,” Rodney said bluntly.

“Yeah, well, they're still out there.” John glanced at Everett. “We just lost our primary line of defense.” Glancing at Elizabeth, he added, “I have to go debrief the pilots.”

“Go ahead,” she agreed. “Just don’t take too long.”

John stomped deliberately up the metal staircase, making enough noise to cover his words. “You ok?”

“I’m a little off balance,” Alice admitted. “It’s odd having so few sensors working.”

“We didn’t even know we had those sensors until a few weeks ago.”

“They were still running, though. Powered up with the others. Go talk to your pilots, I’ll let you know if anything changes.”

The debriefing didn’t take long, and John was on his way to find Rodney when Everett called him. Sighing, he headed for the hologram chamber instead.

Everett was staring upwards, though the hologram wasn’t switched on. John stepped inside, pausing near the door. “You wanted to see me, Colonel?”

“I was told I could learn a lot about the history of Atlantis in this room.”

John nodded. “We haven't used it much because of the power requirements.”

“Still, I would like to see for myself how the Ancients lost the first time, try to avoid their mistakes.”

“Yes, sir, we could do that.” He stepped up to the control panel, starting the program.

“I’ll do it,” Alice said quietly. “Just keep talking.”

John nodded absently, watching the map of the galaxy appear overhead. “This is the status of the Pegasus galaxy, before the Ancients encountered the Wraith. The blue stars represent systems either inhabited by or protected by the Ancients.” He glanced at Alice and most of the map tinged red. “Then, this is how it looked after they fought for almost a hundred years.”

“Until Atlantis was all that was left,” Everett mused.

“Yes, sir. That's when the siege began.” The display switched to the solar system; Lantea was directly in front of them. “For several more years, the Atlanteans were able to hold off their attackers, relying on the city shield and superior weaponry, including the weapon satellite system.” Wraith ships began to attack the planet; he slanted a glance at Alice, who was watching without emotion. “No matter how many Wraith ships they destroyed, more kept coming. They could win almost every battle, but they saw no way to win the war. So, they submerged the city, and left.”

The hologram shut off and the lights came back up. Alice was standing by the door, hands clasped loosely in front of her. “That's it, that's the story,” he added. “But the picture is pretty clear.”

“So you think this is a no-win situation.”

“No, sir. What I mean is even if we beat them this time, they're going to come back.”

“Major, I think I should tell you that Colonel Marshall Sumner was a very good friend of mine. We served together a lot of years, and you know, I cannot for the life of me figure how it is that you could go as far as you did and not save him, how you could get that close-”

“By the time I reached Colonel Sumner-”

“Worse, you admit to firing the shot that killed him!”

John took a deep breath. “Because I believed that's what he wanted me to do.”

Everett took a step forward, into John’s space. “You knew him that well, did you?”

“You weren't there, sir,” John gritted.

“No. I wish for his sake I was.”

“He’s trying to provoke you,” Alice reminded him. “He wants you off the team, out of the City, away from him. Don’t let him have it.”

John carefully took a step back, away from Everett. “There isn't a night that goes by where that moment doesn't play in my head. And every time it does-”

The alarm rang before he could continue, and he reached automatically for his radio, Everett mirroring him. “Control room,” he said, perfectly echoing Everett. Grimacing, he took another step back, gesturing to Everett to go ahead.

“This is Colonel Everett. Report.”

“Sir, we've just detected a wave of Darts, inbound.”

“I'm on my way.” To John, he added, “Get to the Chair. We'll finish this later.”

“There are several signals,” Alice said. She wasn’t running-her legs weren’t moving-but she was keeping pace with him anyway. “Everett’s teams are ready. The City’s gone dark all over.”

John skidded into the Chair room. “McKay, fire it up!

“It'll take a minute.”

“We don't have a minute.”

Rodney stopped what he was doing to glare. “Look, this generator can only power the Chair because it operates in a state of barely controlled overload.”

“Just get the damn thing working.”

“That's what I'm trying to do!”

The room darkened and Alice flinched, backing away from the Chair. John caught her eye and she said shakily, “Primary systems are off-line. The Darts are making suicide runs.” Looking away, she added, “People are being taken.”

Rodney straightened. “Okay, you've got power, go!”

John leaned back, eyes locked on something overhead.

For a long time all he could focus on was the Darts and the drones; with so few drones left he didn’t dare to waste them, concentrating fiercely to make sure each one hit a target. Dawn was breaking by the time he ran out of things to shoot, letting the Chair power down with a sigh. His head ached, pounding in time with his heartbeat.

Alice was standing against the wall and he squinted, trying to figure out if she was really as pale as she looked or if the still too-low lighting was washing the color. “The City’s burning,” she said dully.

“You all right?” he demanded.

Rodney looked up from his laptop, frowning. “Yes, of course. I mean, I haven’t slept in about twenty hours, and I haven’t eaten in just as long, but other than that...”

Alice nodded without answering, and John made a face at her. “Where’s Dr Weir?”

“In Control.” McKay shut his laptop. “What about you? Any problems with the generator?”

“No. It’s fine. Come on.”

Rodney made a face, following him. Zelenka trailed after them.

John paused at the window near Control, staring at the City. The fires were mostly out, but smoke was still rising from several places and almost every building he could see was damaged in one way or another.

“God,” McKay breathed from beside him.

“It’s not as bad as it looks,” John said absently, one eye on Alice.

“It’s not,” she agreed. “A lot of mess. Little structural damage.” Turning away, she added, “Everett’s looking for you.”

John nodded, turning away from the window and heading for Control.

Everett and Elizabeth were leaning over a laptop, watching the status reports come in. John leaned against one of the consoles, watching Rodney bully them out of the way.

“Power's out in sections of the city,” he told them. “The long-range scanners and the internal sensors are down, but we're working on it.”

“I want to know the status of those hive ships ASAP,” Everett said.

Rodney didn’t look up. “They're coming! That's their status! Tomorrow, the day after, the day after that, eventually they'll get here! Whether we're here to greet them or not is another matter.”

“Rodney...” Elizabeth murmured.

Rodney shook his head. “Look, the chair is out of drones. How do you expect to handle the next wave?”

Everett blinked. “I'm open to suggestions.”

“Really.”

“We target the hive ships,” John said.

“With what?” Everett protested.

“We fly the puddle jumper in stealth mode right down their throats.”

“John,” Alice protested.

“Are you volunteering for a suicide mission?” Everett asked, eyeing him.

“Well, it won't be a suicide mission if McKay and Zelenka can figure out a way to remote control the jumpers.”

Everett glanced at Rodney. “Can you do it?”

“I knew this was going to happen,” Rodney said.

“Is that a fact.”

“Yes, it's a fact!” He shoved back from the console, rising to square off against him. “Look, you show up here with your guns and your buzz cuts, but when it comes to actually saving the city, you turn to the scientists. And every time, what you ask is impossible.”

“When was the last time you slept, Doctor?”

“Du-du-du-du, shut up, I have an idea.”

“The Chair,” Zelenka said.

“Of course the Chair. The problem is tying it into the jumper systems.”

“Without overloading the generators.”

“Possibly using the drones on the jumpers themselves as a means of propulsion.”

“While increasing the inertial dampening to maximum.”

“They’re very good,” Alice murmured, drowning out the rest of the conversation. John started to answer but stopped when the pair turned to leave.

“Is that a yes?” Everett called after them.

“No, it's a possibly,” McKay retorted.

“I'll take it.” To John, he added, “How much damage can one puddle jumper do?”

“I've got an idea about that too. I think I know where we can get another nuke.”

Elizabeth straightened, looking disbelievingly at him. “Major, I don't know how sympathetic the Genii will be to our situation.”

“The Genii?” Everett repeated.

“They want to test their weapon? Now's their chance.”

“Teyla’s looking for you,” Alice said. “In the Gate room.”

John turned to the balcony; Everett followed him, frowning, and they saw Teyla below. “I need to talk to Doctor Weir!” she called up.

“Teyla?” Elizabeth leaned over the rail, gesturing the Marines away from her. “What's the matter?”

“The Wraith. They are in Atlantis.”

“Did we forget the talk about warning me about things like this?” John muttered, letting the noise of the nearest batch of Marines cover his voice.

“Did we forget that most of the sensors are down?” Alice retorted. “I can’t see anything without them, remember? You’re lucky I’m functioning.”

John turned away as Ford came past, talking to Everett. “The Wraith piloting the kamikaze ships beamed into the city right before they hit.”

“So they're trying to take the city intact.” Everett nodded. “How many we talking about?”

“How many darts crashed?” John asked.

“Between twenty and thirty. And internal sensors are still down.”

“Well, we have this.” He pulled his lifesigns detector out of his vest pocket, switching it on with a thought. “It can't differentiate between Wraith and human, but if we confine all base personnel to the designated areas, then the blips that show up out of bounds will be the likely targets.”

“Let me see that?”

John passed it to him. “Won't do you any good. You need the gene.”

Everett held it up. “I got the gene therapy too.”

John turned enough to glare at Alice, who spread her hands innocently.

“We wish to help,” Teyla was saying. He turned back, glancing at the group of Athosians behind her. “This is quite a large city, Colonel. You need as many people searching as possible.”

“She is the one who sensed the Wraith's presence in the first place,” John reminded him.

Everett nodded. “Captain, get some weapons for these people.”

John grinned at Teyla, who nodded solemnly before turning to organize her people.

“He’s learning,” Alice murmured.

“Still don’t like him, huh?”

“Let him save the City, then we’ll see.”

“Ready, sir?” Ford asked.

“Yeah. Let’s go.”

The hunt went well for a while, all teams reporting kills, and then the power went out again. John halted, one hand going to his radio.

“Wraith killed the generator,” Alice offered, a beat ahead of Everett.

“What's the nearest generator station?” John asked, glancing at Ford.

“Number three. Teyla's group is closer.”

“Teyla?”

“We are already on our way, Major!”

“Meet you there.” He gestured to Ford and headed off at a run.

“The Chair remote for the Gate ship is working,” Alice said casually.

“Not the time!” John snarled, firing again. The last Wraith fell and he stepped out of hiding, heading for the generator room.

Teyla met him at the door, gun still in hand. “That should be the last of them,” he said. She nodded, turning back to her team.

“And Elizabeth got the weapon,” Alice added, a little more subdued.

“Thanks,” he murmured.

“But Rodney says it’s incomplete.”

Giving up, he left the room to talk to her. “How incomplete?”

“Fixable. But maybe not in time. Very close.” She glanced up. “One of the Gate ships has seen the Hives.”

John nodded quietly. “All right. We need to...”

”Major?” Rodney broke in. ”We need you in the Chair room.”

“On my way. Ford!” Ford stuck his head out of the generator room, and John said quickly, “You’re in charge. Keep flushing them out.”

“Yes, sir. Good luck.”

“Generator's not powering up like it should be.”

John shifted on the seat. “Can you fix it?”

“I’m trying!”

”They’re sending in another wave,” Elizabeth warned them over the intercom. “Major, we need to go!”

“McKay!”

“There's something wrong. Power levels are dropping.”

“Rodney, nothing is happening!” Zelenka said anxiously from the ‘Jumper bay.

“I know nothing is happening, I’m watching it not happen!”

“Why are there no ‘Jumpers in the air?” Elizabeth demanded.

“We must have exhausted the Mark II's energy output.” Rodney pushed away from the laptop. “It's dead.”

John thought quickly, scrambling off the Chair. “So long, Rodney.” He was gone before Rodney could process that, let alone stop him.

“What are you doing?” Alice demanded, doing the bizarre moving-without-moving thing again. John ignored her, skidding into the Control room in time to catch the tail end of Elizabeth’s order to evacuate.

“Elizabeth, wait.”

“You can't,” she protested as he headed for the ‘Jumper bay.

“I have to, and you know it.”

“John...” He stopped, waiting for her, and she nodded reluctantly. “Go.”

John brushed past Zelenka in the bay, powering up the ‘Jumper almost before he was in it.

“Major?” Zelenka said in surprise.

“Get out of the way, Zelenka,” he said quickly, lifting the ramp.

Alice was standing at his shoulder. “I’m supposed to help you protect the City, not commit suicide,” she said quietly.

“So help me. Think of another way, fast.” She shook her head. “No. Didn’t think so. Stay in the City.”

“I’m already in the City, John. I’m staying with you.”

John hit the atmosphere, flipping the cloak on and turning on his radio. “Hopefully if I take this out, the other will think twice. You know, if this works somebody might have to do it again.”

“Understood.” Elizabeth’s voice was soft.

“You let Sheppard fly that jumper?” Rodney demanded. John didn’t answer; the words were distant enough that he was pretty sure they hadn’t been aimed at him.

“Help me arm the self-destruct in case this fails,” Elizabeth said after a moment.

John raised his voice. “They haven't detected my approach. Weapon is armed and ready. I'm going in.”

The ‘Jumper headed straight for the Hive.

sheppard humor, beckett, sheppard angst, sheppard, beckett gen, sheppard/atlantis, action, series, sheppard/ofc, team fic, friendship, beckett humor, mckay gen, episode tag, drama, season 1, atlantis (sentient), sheppard gen, mckay, angst, author:wild_force71, original character, gen, humor

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