Day 62, late afternoon/early evening; Evan's room; Attn: Evan [F]
Co-written with Flubb
John smiled and sighed as the doors to Evan's room slid shut behind them. "Home again, finally." He glanced around the room. "I, uh, hope I got everything back in the right places."
Evan looked at him and smiled. He so wanted this to go right, but even now something was starting to gnaw at his stomach. But right now he didn't want to think about it. All he wanted to do was think about the fact that he was home, with John.
"Hey, don't worry, John. I move things around here all the time."
Then he closed the distance and wrapped his arms around John and he felt himself shaking slightly at the intimacy. But he had to do this. It was the only way that he had any chance with John.
John leaned down and pressed a kiss to Evan's mouth, slow and languorous, as he wrapped his arms around Evan. It was a relief to be able to take his time and not worry about being seen or interrupted. He could feel Evan trembling and pulled back, studying his lover. "You okay?" he asked.
Evan wasn't sure what to say to that. He wanted to be here and he wanted to do this. But he wasn't sure if he could cope with the intimacy. But he couldn't say that, as he was afraid that he would push John away and he couldn't bear that. Not because of them and not because of her.
"I'm fine. Just a little bit shaky, that's all. I'll be fine." Evan pulled John in close again and buried his head in his shoulder and breathed in, immersing himself in John's scent. "I love you John. I love you," he said, his voice muffled.
John kissed Evan's temple, feeling his stomach flutter at the words. He and Evan had never been ones to talk about their feelings, which had suited him just fine, but it was different now, and Evan needed to hear the words, often. "I love you, too, Ev," John whispered. "Hey, how about we go get comfortable?" John suggested, nodding toward the bed. At one time, Evan had had a small sofa-ish thing, but when they'd snuck the bigger bed in, it had gone into storage somewhere, leaving them nowhere to sit together but on the bed.
Evan swallowed. This had been the moment that he had been looking forward to and dreading in equal measure. Taking John's hand he walked over to the bed. Looking in to John's eyes he kissed him, pressing a kiss to his lips. Slowly sweeping his tongue over them. Then Evan sat down still holding John's hand and pulled him towards the bed.
John sat down beside Evan, moved the pillows, then scooted up next to the headboard so he could lean on it, turning so his legs were stretched out on the bed. He patted the mattress beside him. "More comfortable up here."
Evan smiled and moved to the place where John had patted. He snuggled up to John and laid his head against John's shoulder. He felt comfortable but he knew that this wouldn't last when John wanted to move on to something more intimate. Right now, he felt warm and safe and he knew that he was home.
It felt good to have Evan here, curled next to him, alive and whole and still his. John slipped his arms around Evan and leaned over to press kisses to Evan's hair and face and mouth. "I still can't believe sometimes that you're really here," he whispered, almost afraid to admit to his feelings. "I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and it's all going to be a dream, you know?"
Evan agreed. "I know what you mean. When I was there I kept seeing you in the shadows. You were there watching me. And I couldn't believe it when I saw you there." Evan responded to the kisses then continued speaking, "It isn't a dream, love. I am back here and I am yours."
Then Evan turned and kissed John hard on the lips, his tongue licking John's lips asking for permission to enter.
John moaned and opened up under Evan's onslaught. He hadn't been sure what Evan would be up for tonight, but he'd take what he could get. He reached out and tugged, wanting Evan on top of him, to feel his weight, the reality of his lover.
Evan swallowed hard. Without thinking he rolled on top of John. The feeling was electric. He could feel blood rushing to his groin and he let out a moan, after which he went back to kissing John. He ran his tongue around the inside of John's mouth mapping each contour. Savouring the taste that was John Sheppard.
John groaned, feeling Evan pressed against him, hard in just the right places-- including that place-- and taking him apart more with each kiss. He slipped his arms around his lover, kissing back, but letting Evan set the pace. They kissed until they had to come up for air and he shuddered as Evan shifted back, his hardness pressing into John's. "Um... Ev, are... are you up for anything?"
Evan swallowed hard. This was the moment that he had been longing for and dreading in equal measure. "I... I... Just do what you want John... but please take it easy with me. I..." The thought of what that bitch had done to him came back to him full force and he began to shake.
John felt Evan begin to shake and wasn't sure what to do. Should he let go, hold on tighter, move out from under Evan, caress him somewhere non-sexual? He had no clue. He reached up and cupped Evan's cheek. "Hey, it's okay. It's going to be okay. We don't need to do anything. It's why I asked. God, Ev, I would never... It has to be good for you, too, okay?"
Evan began to cry, "I'm sorry, John... I'm trying to forget... but I cant." The tears began to roll down his face, "Hold me, please. I... want to try but all... all I can see is... that bitch. It's fuzzy, but I can still remember. Help... help me, John. Please." His voice had disappeared to a whisper as he lay on top of John. He lay his head on John's chest and listened to his heart beat.
John held on to Evan a little tighter, wishing he could do something, anything, to make the memories go away. "It's okay. Maybe we can come up with some things that won't remind you so much. Not necessarily for tonight, but for sometime," John said, trying to keep his voice soothing. There had to be some combination of mouths and hands and cocks and assholes that would be okay. He hoped. "I don't know exactly what she did, but we'll just have to do something really different, you know?"
John smiled and sighed as the doors to Evan's room slid shut behind them. "Home again, finally." He glanced around the room. "I, uh, hope I got everything back in the right places."
Evan looked at him and smiled. He so wanted this to go right, but even now something was starting to gnaw at his stomach. But right now he didn't want to think about it. All he wanted to do was think about the fact that he was home, with John.
"Hey, don't worry, John. I move things around here all the time."
Then he closed the distance and wrapped his arms around John and he felt himself shaking slightly at the intimacy. But he had to do this. It was the only way that he had any chance with John.
John leaned down and pressed a kiss to Evan's mouth, slow and languorous, as he wrapped his arms around Evan. It was a relief to be able to take his time and not worry about being seen or interrupted. He could feel Evan trembling and pulled back, studying his lover. "You okay?" he asked.
Evan wasn't sure what to say to that. He wanted to be here and he wanted to do this. But he wasn't sure if he could cope with the intimacy. But he couldn't say that, as he was afraid that he would push John away and he couldn't bear that. Not because of them and not because of her.
"I'm fine. Just a little bit shaky, that's all. I'll be fine." Evan pulled John in close again and buried his head in his shoulder and breathed in, immersing himself in John's scent. "I love you John. I love you," he said, his voice muffled.
John kissed Evan's temple, feeling his stomach flutter at the words. He and Evan had never been ones to talk about their feelings, which had suited him just fine, but it was different now, and Evan needed to hear the words, often. "I love you, too, Ev," John whispered. "Hey, how about we go get comfortable?" John suggested, nodding toward the bed. At one time, Evan had had a small sofa-ish thing, but when they'd snuck the bigger bed in, it had gone into storage somewhere, leaving them nowhere to sit together but on the bed.
Evan swallowed. This had been the moment that he had been looking forward to and dreading in equal measure. Taking John's hand he walked over to the bed. Looking in to John's eyes he kissed him, pressing a kiss to his lips. Slowly sweeping his tongue over them. Then Evan sat down still holding John's hand and pulled him towards the bed.
John sat down beside Evan, moved the pillows, then scooted up next to the headboard so he could lean on it, turning so his legs were stretched out on the bed. He patted the mattress beside him. "More comfortable up here."
Evan smiled and moved to the place where John had patted. He snuggled up to John and laid his head against John's shoulder. He felt comfortable but he knew that this wouldn't last when John wanted to move on to something more intimate. Right now, he felt warm and safe and he knew that he was home.
It felt good to have Evan here, curled next to him, alive and whole and still his. John slipped his arms around Evan and leaned over to press kisses to Evan's hair and face and mouth. "I still can't believe sometimes that you're really here," he whispered, almost afraid to admit to his feelings. "I keep thinking I'm going to wake up and it's all going to be a dream, you know?"
Evan agreed. "I know what you mean. When I was there I kept seeing you in the shadows. You were there watching me. And I couldn't believe it when I saw you there." Evan responded to the kisses then continued speaking, "It isn't a dream, love. I am back here and I am yours."
Then Evan turned and kissed John hard on the lips, his tongue licking John's lips asking for permission to enter.
John moaned and opened up under Evan's onslaught. He hadn't been sure what Evan would be up for tonight, but he'd take what he could get. He reached out and tugged, wanting Evan on top of him, to feel his weight, the reality of his lover.
Evan swallowed hard. Without thinking he rolled on top of John. The feeling was electric. He could feel blood rushing to his groin and he let out a moan, after which he went back to kissing John. He ran his tongue around the inside of John's mouth mapping each contour. Savouring the taste that was John Sheppard.
John groaned, feeling Evan pressed against him, hard in just the right places-- including that place-- and taking him apart more with each kiss. He slipped his arms around his lover, kissing back, but letting Evan set the pace. They kissed until they had to come up for air and he shuddered as Evan shifted back, his hardness pressing into John's. "Um... Ev, are... are you up for anything?"
Evan swallowed hard. This was the moment that he had been longing for and dreading in equal measure. "I... I... Just do what you want John... but please take it easy with me. I..." The thought of what that bitch had done to him came back to him full force and he began to shake.
John felt Evan begin to shake and wasn't sure what to do. Should he let go, hold on tighter, move out from under Evan, caress him somewhere non-sexual? He had no clue. He reached up and cupped Evan's cheek. "Hey, it's okay. It's going to be okay. We don't need to do anything. It's why I asked. God, Ev, I would never... It has to be good for you, too, okay?"
Evan began to cry, "I'm sorry, John... I'm trying to forget... but I cant." The tears began to roll down his face, "Hold me, please. I... want to try but all... all I can see is... that bitch. It's fuzzy, but I can still remember. Help... help me, John. Please." His voice had disappeared to a whisper as he lay on top of John. He lay his head on John's chest and listened to his heart beat.
John held on to Evan a little tighter, wishing he could do something, anything, to make the memories go away. "It's okay. Maybe we can come up with some things that won't remind you so much. Not necessarily for tonight, but for sometime," John said, trying to keep his voice soothing. There had to be some combination of mouths and hands and cocks and assholes that would be okay. He hoped. "I don't know exactly what she did, but we'll just have to do something really different, you know?"