This is Me #2 - My Friend, Static Electricity
I grew up in a wonderful era when you could still have shag carpet in your house and your friends wouldn't mock you.
Let me tell you, that shit produced oodles of static electricity. I knew that my asshole older brothers could shuffle their feet through the carpet and electrocute my little hide with a sneaky poke of the finger. (The eldest of the Two Assholes absolutely loved electricity as a form of mischief ... I was 3 years old when he gave me a 9-volt battery and said "put your tongue on that - it'll taste like raspberry.")
Still, I didn't know all the stuff static electricity could do, and I nearly shit myself (I was still not 10 yet) when I shuffled through some carpet, walked close to this lamp thing my mother had recently bought, and watched all these crazy hangy-fringey things rise up toward my completely of their own volition like a bunch of tiny little cobras!
If the phrase WTF had been around, I definitely would've said it. I had never in my young life seen anything like that. Fortunately, Eldest Asshole - who was, in reality, the least-asshole of the Two Assholes - explained it to me. I am now somewhat ashamed to admit that I found way too much entertainment value in that lamp. I would build up a charge and raise my hand at the fringe-snakes like Luke Skywalker and make those little bastards move all over.
The scary thing is, I'd probably still do that today if I had that lamp ... and floors that weren't entirely made of cork and ceramic tile.
Let me tell you, that shit produced oodles of static electricity. I knew that my asshole older brothers could shuffle their feet through the carpet and electrocute my little hide with a sneaky poke of the finger. (The eldest of the Two Assholes absolutely loved electricity as a form of mischief ... I was 3 years old when he gave me a 9-volt battery and said "put your tongue on that - it'll taste like raspberry.")
Still, I didn't know all the stuff static electricity could do, and I nearly shit myself (I was still not 10 yet) when I shuffled through some carpet, walked close to this lamp thing my mother had recently bought, and watched all these crazy hangy-fringey things rise up toward my completely of their own volition like a bunch of tiny little cobras!
If the phrase WTF had been around, I definitely would've said it. I had never in my young life seen anything like that. Fortunately, Eldest Asshole - who was, in reality, the least-asshole of the Two Assholes - explained it to me. I am now somewhat ashamed to admit that I found way too much entertainment value in that lamp. I would build up a charge and raise my hand at the fringe-snakes like Luke Skywalker and make those little bastards move all over.
The scary thing is, I'd probably still do that today if I had that lamp ... and floors that weren't entirely made of cork and ceramic tile.