Love Will Tear Us Apart
Title: Love Will Tear Us Apart (15/21)
Characters: Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Owen suggested, hints of Ianto/Tosh.
Rating: NC17
Summary: Why leaving Owen alone with alien tech is a supremely bad idea...
Spoilers: Probably past end of series 1. To be safe.
Warnings: Slightly cracky, slash, language.
Author's Notes: Uh...alien tech made us do it. *nods* We're totally innocent. *snerk* Feedback will be loved and adored. Flamers will be fed to Myfanwy.
Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Chapter Twelve, Chapter Thirteen, Chapter Fourteen
Ianto was shivering in his arms and slowly Jack pressed him down onto the mattress and laying down on top of him, slowly pulling out of him. "I know Yan, I know." Jack pressed a kiss to his throat, his hands petting down his sides as his mouth moved to touch and taste and commit every inch of Ianto to his memory.
"Do you remember the first time we did this?" Jack mumbled somewhere around Ianto's belly button. "It was after our trip back from the countryside and I brought you to the Hub."
Ianto closed his eyes, brow furrowed a little as he nodded, remembering it all too clearly. Jack had been so loving and gentle, carefully kissing every bruise and scrape, lips caressing the nick on his throat from the cleaver. He’d held Ianto as the weekend’s events had finally overwhelmed him, held him as he shuddered and cried, carefully soothed him, and then made love to him.
“Yes.” He whispered miserably, hand reaching blindly for Jack, fingers tangling in short hair. “I never thanked you for that.” He opened green eyes, looking down at Jack, wishing to God he could see Jack’s eyes properly, the glorious shade of blue faded now into shades of grey and black.
Jack shook his head with a soft smile. "You never had to. I knew." Jack pressed lips to Ianto's his mind going back to that time, Ianto so shy and in shock. His body cold and limp and his mind a thousand miles from the Hub. Jack had taken him into the showers and had stripped him bare and gently pushed him into the shower much like he had the night Lisa died.
But unlike that night, when Ianto got over the shock and stood there in the tiled bathroom shivering in the overly large towel, he let Jack pull him in tightly for some comfort and even responded when Jack ever so softly kissed him. "You remember the first time we used your stopwatch?"
Ianto grinned a little, chuckling softly as he wrapped his arms around Jack. “Mmhmmm.” He kissed Jack again, pulling back to look at him. “It was the first time I’d approached you. I’m still amazed it took you so long to realise what I was suggesting…” He teased gently. “It’s not like it was subtle innuendo…” But God, that had been a memorable night. Jack was an enthusiastic lover at the best of times, but challenged with a stopwatch…Ianto had barely been able to move the next day.
"Well you have to admit, it wasn't something I was expecting to come from you." Jack retorted, his hands still moving and mapping Ianto's soft skin, trying to ignore the bits of him that were more feline in nature than human.
"When standing in the morgue over your ex co-workers dead body for the second time in a couple months, your not expecting to be propositioned by the studiously vanilla and previously thought to be shy and unassuming personal assistant." Jack chuckled and let his tongue trace some of Ianto's muscles. "And the time we did it on the invisible lift, with everyone walking by..."
Ianto writhed a little, Jack’s tongue doing evil things to his coherency. “Until Gwen tried to use the lift to get down into the Hub and just about had a heart attack.” He grinned. “I’ll never forget her face when she saw us.” But then he would, wouldn’t he? He’d forget everything. He already was - things from his past were fading, he was finding himself struggle for words that usually came easily.
He fell silent, closing his eyes for a moment, suddenly wanting nothing more than to just curl up in a ball, break down. But he couldn’t. Not while Jack was here.
Jack sighed softly before sliding back up, mouthing at Ianto's neck before moving to whisper in his ear. "And do you remember, after you... changed. How we fought and Tosh locked you in my room, forcing us to come to an agreement." Jacks hand found Ianto's and tangled their fingers together, realising how ridiculously soppy he was sounding but unable to truly care. "First time we made love, right there in the Hub."
Nodding, Ianto slowly opened his eyes, squeezing Jack’s hand. “Only fitting really, the amount of time we spend there.” He smiled softly.
“Jack…if I…if it’s not safe to let me out…promise me you won’t just leave me down there with the weevils. Or let Head Office have me…” He didn’t think Jack would, not for one minute, but the fear was there nonetheless. And if the higher echelons knew that Jack had a real-life shape-changed employee on his hands…well, it would take all Jack’s charm to persuade them not to cut him up for study, let alone just take him away.
"God no." Jack breathed, rolling off of Ianto to lay beside him, eyes looking and watching him as one hand scratched at the spot behind his ear. "You're going to stay with me Ianto, you can stay in my room and sleep either on my bed or in that bit of velvet and silk scraps you tend to like."
Jack pressed his lips to Ianto's ear, softly nipping the very top of it before curling his arm around Ianto when he cuddled into him. "I won't stick you in a cell."
“But if you have to…” Ianto murmured, eyes drifting half-closed, soft purr curling in his chest as he leaned into Jack’s caresses, smiling at the soft nip to his ear.
“If I can’t just be left to wander around…I cleaned out a few cells in the lower levels. It’s far enough away from the weevils that I won’t be able to smell them.” He hated that they had to plan for this, had to be prepared just in case…but they didn’t have any other choice. Much as he’d like to think he’d remember everything, remember how to act around the others…he couldn’t guarantee that he could control his actions. He could still remember all too clearly how he’d nearly pounced Tosh in the alleyway after they’d gone clubbing, how desperate he’d been for someone to touch him. He dreaded not being able to stop himself.
Jack finally conceded, knowing that Ianto was right and that he needed to be thinking of everyone's well being, not just what he wanted or didn't want for Ianto. "I can put your bed down there... along with a few other things. Make it less cell like anyways." Jack sighed and ran his fingers through Ianto's hair, smiling softly at him.
"Do you remember when you first changed? How you practically accosted me everywhere we went?" Jack chuckled softly as he thought back on it. "Trying to have sex everywhere.”
Ianto nodded, smiling softly. “I suppose Owen was right, I was a sex kitten.” He laughed, turning his head to nuzzle at Jack’s shoulder, still purring, welcoming the slow rub of fingers through his hair. “Couldn’t help it, the way everyone smelled…It’s a wonder anyone gets any work done in that place.”
“Look after Tosh, will you?” He murmured, after a pause. “She…she doesn’t deserve to be alone. She’ll need company.” Worrying about the others helped; not that he could share his worries about Jack with the man himself, he’d just brush them off as unimportant. But he didn’t know how well his lover was going to cope. He was only hanging on himself by the tips of his fingers. All too easy to just fall apart, not care what happened around him.
"I think if you cast your mind back, you'll remember that not a whole lot of work gets done there anyways." Jack smiled and pulled Ianto on top of him, wanting to feel the delicious press of skin on skin, of Ianto's weight pressing him down into the mattress and that everything around him was Ianto.
"I will. I promise." Jack assured him, sealing his promise with a kiss. "I'll make sure she doesn't work too hard, gets out and plays every once and a while." His hands slowly caressed the soft skin of Ianto's back as he thought about how much was going to change in the coming weeks. "I'm going to miss you." He said softly.
“I’ll still be here.” He tried to reassure Jack, and himself. “I’ll just be…different.” He closed his eyes, pressing closer, burying his face against Jack’s throat and breathing deeply. He arched his back a little, pressing into his caresses, purr deepening in approval at the slow strokes across his skin.
“I’ll still remember this. You. I love you.” He trembled a little, eyes stinging as he closed them tightly, fingers clutching at Jack.
He nodded, acknowledging what Ianto said but needing a moment for himself before he felt capable of replying. "I love you too Ianto. No matter what shape or being you may be at the time." Nosing softly at Ianto's neck, Jack was able to reach his lips and kiss him softly, trying to pour into a kiss everything he was not capable of putting into words.
Jack wouldn't say it out loud, not to Ianto and most certainly not right now, but in the back of his mind Jack couldn't help the wiggling, nagging doubts that whispered that with the way Ianto's memory and his mind was going, there was no way he'd remember who Jack was. But he just nodded and kissed Ianto softly again, content to believe the lie as it was.
And Ianto refused to believe that it was a lie. He knew he would remember Jack, somehow. It might not be as his lover, but his feline side was far more comfortable with Jack than with anyone else - that had to mean something. He poured himself into the kiss, wishing things could be different, that he was kissing Jack for a different reason. That it wasn’t so desperate, and so bitterly painful.
But then, without the changes he’d gone through, would Jack ever have admitted he loved Ianto? Much as he hated what was happening to him now, Ianto couldn’t begrudge that.
Jack threaded one hand into Ianto's hair, holding him down so that Jack could properly kiss and taste his mouth; his tongue sliding over Ianto's and flicking at it softly. His other hand began running through the sheets until he found the tube of lube.
Snapping it open, he poured a decent amount in his hand before softly grasping Ianto's cock in hand and slicking him up. Jack's arms were wound tightly around Ianto's body, not letting him move to far away, Jack wrapped one leg around his hip, pulling him closer and in towards Jack's body. His head dropped back as he felt Ianto nudge at his entrance and let out a soft moan when he had pushed in.
Ianto whimpered softly, bucking in to Jack’s hand, lips parted in a low moan. Jack was wicked, and evil, and he didn’t think he ever wanted that to change.
“Jack…” He breathed a little unevenly, hands clutching at the pillows, nose nudging Jack’s softly as he leant down for a kiss, open-mouthed and fierce and so fucking good. His hips moved slowly but firmly, long thrusts that left him breathless.
Opening underneath him, Jack let Ianto in, his hips pressing up and against Ianto's own; his mouth open and needy to Ianto's as well, his tongue pressing and demanding more as his hands tried to encourage Ianto on. Jack needed this as much as he needed to give this to Ianto, needed something to remember by the slow burn in his body as he had to sit back and watch his lover come apart.
Jack moved, nosing at Ianto's ear before whispering to him; anything he could think of, how good this felt, how he wanted to remember this moment for years to come, how fucking sorry he was that it had to come down to this and how much he loved Ianto and wouldn't ever give up hope.
Ianto couldn’t reply, couldn’t do anything but nod and murmur wordless reassurance, his tail curling around Jack’s thigh, body moving slowly, hands sliding down to clutch at Jack’s arms, holding him close as his hips moved a little faster, a little more desperately. Hot breaths panted out against Jack’s shoulder, he mewled softly, each whisper making his ear twitch as Jack’s words ruffled soft hair, sending small shivers down his spine.
Holding Ianto close, Jack just rocked his hips against him, his hands roaming over smooth skin and his mouth moving to nip softly at one of Ianto's ears, a fetish he had developed over the short time that Ianto had had them before slipping lower to kiss Ianto slowly.
Despite his own earlier release, he didn't know how long he would be able to hold out, how long he could keep his own orgasm at bay with all the emotions running through him. He reached up to run his fingers through Ianto's hair, no longer thick and curly but much finer and soft; he nosed at his ears again, unable to resist them in a way that Jack knew surely bordered on a fetish. He was getting closer, he could feel it building at the base of his spine, but he tried to hold out, to wait for Ianto before succumbing to his release. "Ianto," he panted, his voice taut and gruff from moaning. "I love you..." he fell back against the bed as Ianto hit the right spot inside him to send sparks shooting up his spine.
It was the words more than the feel of Jack, tight and hot around him, that drove Ianto over the edge. He wailed Jack’s name, claws digging in to his lover’s shoulders, drawing blood as he lost control, thrust hard once, twice, and then slumped over Jack, chest heaving. He pulled his hand away from Jack’s shoulder, not even noticing the five small cuts in his shoulder as he slid his hand between them, wrapping his fingers around Jack’s cock.
“Love you too.” He breathed, lips against Jack’s as he stroked him, kissing him fiercely.
Jack pulled him into a fierce kiss, holding his head in place as he kissed him hard, his hips bucking up into Ianto's hands and moans spilling past his lips as he arched and came once more, covering their bellies and Ianto's hand. It took him awhile to come down from his high, his entire body shuddering and holding Ianto so desperately tight and close to him.
Slowly, his breathing returned to normal, Ianto resting snugly above him and it was both funny and heart breaking to feel Ianto's tongue slipping out against his skin, cleaning him off. It was so erotic but yet so cat-like that Jack didn't know whether to groan or to sob at it. "I'm going to miss you, my Ianto..." He said softly, eyes opening to watch his movements sadly, as if trying to commit them to memory.
Ianto closed his eyes, stilling as he tried to fight back the urge to cry and scream.
“Damn you, Jack.” He choked out, burying his face against Jack’s shoulder, trembling fiercely, trying to hold himself together. For a moment, he had forgotten. For a moment, it had just been him, and Jack, and everything had been fine. Sniffing gently, he caught the scent of blood, turning his head, eyes widening in horror as he spotted ten even cuts in Jack’s shoulders, perfect spacing for his claws.
“Oh God…” Pulling away from Jack, it was a struggle not to run away, out of the room. He curled his hands in on themselves, claws pricking his palms, a reminder of just what he’d done. What he could have done, if he’d got carried away.
"Ianto, no... Please," Jack curled around him, wrapping his arms around his lover and pulling him in tight. He hadn't meant to ruin the mood, to break Ianto, it had just slipped out accidentally. "Don't start pulling away from me now, not yet..." Jack swallowed what could easily have turned into a sob of his own as he turned and pulled Ianto to him, wrapping his limbs around the smaller man and just holding him as close as possible.
"Do you remember the first time we," Jack paused for a moment, wondering if it was too sappy to say what he was thinking before realising that it didn't matter. "First time we fucked Ianto?" He asked idly.
Ianto trembled in Jack’s arms, his hands cradled against his chest, claws turned inwards. He closed his eyes as he shuffled closer, nose pressed against Jack’s neck, cheek rubbing against warm skin. He nodded gently, ear twitching a little as Jack’s breath ruffled fine hairs.
“A-after the Beacons.” He breathed, frowning at the memory, the stench of blood and metal clogging his nose, the feel of that cleaver pressed against his throat. That was the first time he had realised he didn’t want to die. The first time he had felt something, anything, other than that horrible numbness, or just sheer pain at Lisa’s death. Jack had asked him why he had lied, about his last kiss, as he patched up Ianto’s wounds. Ianto had merely smiled, ducking his head.
“It’s not a kiss if there’s only one person participating…” He murmured, smiling a little again, at the memory. “Only you would see that as a challenge, Jack.” He laughed, the sound dying away far too quickly.
"Mmm, it is when you are looking at me like that. All spitfire and challenge in those eyes." He smiled and leaned down to slowly take Ianto's lips once more. This was a completely different kiss than that had been, that had been fierce and almost primal in it's need-- both parties desperate to prove their own existence, reaffirm they were still alive. This, this was different. It was slow and sweet and deep, so very deep, as Jack's tongue gently flicked out to taste and press against Ianto's before retreating to do it all over again.
Regardless of method, both were left breathless after both of them.
Ianto sighed softly, refusing to open his eyes, see the despair lurking in the depths of Jack’s gaze. He eased them both down against the sheets, curling up in Jack’s arms.
“…Hold me?” He murmured quietly, hint of pleading in his voice. “I just…I need…” He needed time, to remember this. To burn every moment of tonight into his brain, in the hopes that it would help. He wanted to feel Jack’s arms around him, fill his senses with the other man. He whispered a heartfelt thank you as Jack merely nodded, closing his eyes as lips brushed the top of his head, the tip of one ear.
Jack sighed softly and kept the younger man as close to him as possible. "For as long as you need me to..." He whispered, his own eyes refusing to close, wanting to burn this image, how it felt to hold his lover one last time, into his brain. Slowly, Ianto succumbed to sleep, his breathing even and deep but Jack refused to look away, taking this time to say goodbye to his lover.
On to Chapter Sixteen.
Characters: Jack/Ianto, Gwen/Owen suggested, hints of Ianto/Tosh.
Rating: NC17
Summary: Why leaving Owen alone with alien tech is a supremely bad idea...
Spoilers: Probably past end of series 1. To be safe.
Warnings: Slightly cracky, slash, language.
Author's Notes: Uh...alien tech made us do it. *nods* We're totally innocent. *snerk* Feedback will be loved and adored. Flamers will be fed to Myfanwy.
Chapter One, Chapter Two, Chapter Three, Chapter Four, Chapter Five, Chapter Six, Chapter Seven, Chapter Eight, Chapter Nine, Chapter Ten, Chapter Eleven, Chapter Twelve, Chapter Thirteen, Chapter Fourteen
Ianto was shivering in his arms and slowly Jack pressed him down onto the mattress and laying down on top of him, slowly pulling out of him. "I know Yan, I know." Jack pressed a kiss to his throat, his hands petting down his sides as his mouth moved to touch and taste and commit every inch of Ianto to his memory.
"Do you remember the first time we did this?" Jack mumbled somewhere around Ianto's belly button. "It was after our trip back from the countryside and I brought you to the Hub."
Ianto closed his eyes, brow furrowed a little as he nodded, remembering it all too clearly. Jack had been so loving and gentle, carefully kissing every bruise and scrape, lips caressing the nick on his throat from the cleaver. He’d held Ianto as the weekend’s events had finally overwhelmed him, held him as he shuddered and cried, carefully soothed him, and then made love to him.
“Yes.” He whispered miserably, hand reaching blindly for Jack, fingers tangling in short hair. “I never thanked you for that.” He opened green eyes, looking down at Jack, wishing to God he could see Jack’s eyes properly, the glorious shade of blue faded now into shades of grey and black.
Jack shook his head with a soft smile. "You never had to. I knew." Jack pressed lips to Ianto's his mind going back to that time, Ianto so shy and in shock. His body cold and limp and his mind a thousand miles from the Hub. Jack had taken him into the showers and had stripped him bare and gently pushed him into the shower much like he had the night Lisa died.
But unlike that night, when Ianto got over the shock and stood there in the tiled bathroom shivering in the overly large towel, he let Jack pull him in tightly for some comfort and even responded when Jack ever so softly kissed him. "You remember the first time we used your stopwatch?"
Ianto grinned a little, chuckling softly as he wrapped his arms around Jack. “Mmhmmm.” He kissed Jack again, pulling back to look at him. “It was the first time I’d approached you. I’m still amazed it took you so long to realise what I was suggesting…” He teased gently. “It’s not like it was subtle innuendo…” But God, that had been a memorable night. Jack was an enthusiastic lover at the best of times, but challenged with a stopwatch…Ianto had barely been able to move the next day.
"Well you have to admit, it wasn't something I was expecting to come from you." Jack retorted, his hands still moving and mapping Ianto's soft skin, trying to ignore the bits of him that were more feline in nature than human.
"When standing in the morgue over your ex co-workers dead body for the second time in a couple months, your not expecting to be propositioned by the studiously vanilla and previously thought to be shy and unassuming personal assistant." Jack chuckled and let his tongue trace some of Ianto's muscles. "And the time we did it on the invisible lift, with everyone walking by..."
Ianto writhed a little, Jack’s tongue doing evil things to his coherency. “Until Gwen tried to use the lift to get down into the Hub and just about had a heart attack.” He grinned. “I’ll never forget her face when she saw us.” But then he would, wouldn’t he? He’d forget everything. He already was - things from his past were fading, he was finding himself struggle for words that usually came easily.
He fell silent, closing his eyes for a moment, suddenly wanting nothing more than to just curl up in a ball, break down. But he couldn’t. Not while Jack was here.
Jack sighed softly before sliding back up, mouthing at Ianto's neck before moving to whisper in his ear. "And do you remember, after you... changed. How we fought and Tosh locked you in my room, forcing us to come to an agreement." Jacks hand found Ianto's and tangled their fingers together, realising how ridiculously soppy he was sounding but unable to truly care. "First time we made love, right there in the Hub."
Nodding, Ianto slowly opened his eyes, squeezing Jack’s hand. “Only fitting really, the amount of time we spend there.” He smiled softly.
“Jack…if I…if it’s not safe to let me out…promise me you won’t just leave me down there with the weevils. Or let Head Office have me…” He didn’t think Jack would, not for one minute, but the fear was there nonetheless. And if the higher echelons knew that Jack had a real-life shape-changed employee on his hands…well, it would take all Jack’s charm to persuade them not to cut him up for study, let alone just take him away.
"God no." Jack breathed, rolling off of Ianto to lay beside him, eyes looking and watching him as one hand scratched at the spot behind his ear. "You're going to stay with me Ianto, you can stay in my room and sleep either on my bed or in that bit of velvet and silk scraps you tend to like."
Jack pressed his lips to Ianto's ear, softly nipping the very top of it before curling his arm around Ianto when he cuddled into him. "I won't stick you in a cell."
“But if you have to…” Ianto murmured, eyes drifting half-closed, soft purr curling in his chest as he leaned into Jack’s caresses, smiling at the soft nip to his ear.
“If I can’t just be left to wander around…I cleaned out a few cells in the lower levels. It’s far enough away from the weevils that I won’t be able to smell them.” He hated that they had to plan for this, had to be prepared just in case…but they didn’t have any other choice. Much as he’d like to think he’d remember everything, remember how to act around the others…he couldn’t guarantee that he could control his actions. He could still remember all too clearly how he’d nearly pounced Tosh in the alleyway after they’d gone clubbing, how desperate he’d been for someone to touch him. He dreaded not being able to stop himself.
Jack finally conceded, knowing that Ianto was right and that he needed to be thinking of everyone's well being, not just what he wanted or didn't want for Ianto. "I can put your bed down there... along with a few other things. Make it less cell like anyways." Jack sighed and ran his fingers through Ianto's hair, smiling softly at him.
"Do you remember when you first changed? How you practically accosted me everywhere we went?" Jack chuckled softly as he thought back on it. "Trying to have sex everywhere.”
Ianto nodded, smiling softly. “I suppose Owen was right, I was a sex kitten.” He laughed, turning his head to nuzzle at Jack’s shoulder, still purring, welcoming the slow rub of fingers through his hair. “Couldn’t help it, the way everyone smelled…It’s a wonder anyone gets any work done in that place.”
“Look after Tosh, will you?” He murmured, after a pause. “She…she doesn’t deserve to be alone. She’ll need company.” Worrying about the others helped; not that he could share his worries about Jack with the man himself, he’d just brush them off as unimportant. But he didn’t know how well his lover was going to cope. He was only hanging on himself by the tips of his fingers. All too easy to just fall apart, not care what happened around him.
"I think if you cast your mind back, you'll remember that not a whole lot of work gets done there anyways." Jack smiled and pulled Ianto on top of him, wanting to feel the delicious press of skin on skin, of Ianto's weight pressing him down into the mattress and that everything around him was Ianto.
"I will. I promise." Jack assured him, sealing his promise with a kiss. "I'll make sure she doesn't work too hard, gets out and plays every once and a while." His hands slowly caressed the soft skin of Ianto's back as he thought about how much was going to change in the coming weeks. "I'm going to miss you." He said softly.
“I’ll still be here.” He tried to reassure Jack, and himself. “I’ll just be…different.” He closed his eyes, pressing closer, burying his face against Jack’s throat and breathing deeply. He arched his back a little, pressing into his caresses, purr deepening in approval at the slow strokes across his skin.
“I’ll still remember this. You. I love you.” He trembled a little, eyes stinging as he closed them tightly, fingers clutching at Jack.
He nodded, acknowledging what Ianto said but needing a moment for himself before he felt capable of replying. "I love you too Ianto. No matter what shape or being you may be at the time." Nosing softly at Ianto's neck, Jack was able to reach his lips and kiss him softly, trying to pour into a kiss everything he was not capable of putting into words.
Jack wouldn't say it out loud, not to Ianto and most certainly not right now, but in the back of his mind Jack couldn't help the wiggling, nagging doubts that whispered that with the way Ianto's memory and his mind was going, there was no way he'd remember who Jack was. But he just nodded and kissed Ianto softly again, content to believe the lie as it was.
And Ianto refused to believe that it was a lie. He knew he would remember Jack, somehow. It might not be as his lover, but his feline side was far more comfortable with Jack than with anyone else - that had to mean something. He poured himself into the kiss, wishing things could be different, that he was kissing Jack for a different reason. That it wasn’t so desperate, and so bitterly painful.
But then, without the changes he’d gone through, would Jack ever have admitted he loved Ianto? Much as he hated what was happening to him now, Ianto couldn’t begrudge that.
Jack threaded one hand into Ianto's hair, holding him down so that Jack could properly kiss and taste his mouth; his tongue sliding over Ianto's and flicking at it softly. His other hand began running through the sheets until he found the tube of lube.
Snapping it open, he poured a decent amount in his hand before softly grasping Ianto's cock in hand and slicking him up. Jack's arms were wound tightly around Ianto's body, not letting him move to far away, Jack wrapped one leg around his hip, pulling him closer and in towards Jack's body. His head dropped back as he felt Ianto nudge at his entrance and let out a soft moan when he had pushed in.
Ianto whimpered softly, bucking in to Jack’s hand, lips parted in a low moan. Jack was wicked, and evil, and he didn’t think he ever wanted that to change.
“Jack…” He breathed a little unevenly, hands clutching at the pillows, nose nudging Jack’s softly as he leant down for a kiss, open-mouthed and fierce and so fucking good. His hips moved slowly but firmly, long thrusts that left him breathless.
Opening underneath him, Jack let Ianto in, his hips pressing up and against Ianto's own; his mouth open and needy to Ianto's as well, his tongue pressing and demanding more as his hands tried to encourage Ianto on. Jack needed this as much as he needed to give this to Ianto, needed something to remember by the slow burn in his body as he had to sit back and watch his lover come apart.
Jack moved, nosing at Ianto's ear before whispering to him; anything he could think of, how good this felt, how he wanted to remember this moment for years to come, how fucking sorry he was that it had to come down to this and how much he loved Ianto and wouldn't ever give up hope.
Ianto couldn’t reply, couldn’t do anything but nod and murmur wordless reassurance, his tail curling around Jack’s thigh, body moving slowly, hands sliding down to clutch at Jack’s arms, holding him close as his hips moved a little faster, a little more desperately. Hot breaths panted out against Jack’s shoulder, he mewled softly, each whisper making his ear twitch as Jack’s words ruffled soft hair, sending small shivers down his spine.
Holding Ianto close, Jack just rocked his hips against him, his hands roaming over smooth skin and his mouth moving to nip softly at one of Ianto's ears, a fetish he had developed over the short time that Ianto had had them before slipping lower to kiss Ianto slowly.
Despite his own earlier release, he didn't know how long he would be able to hold out, how long he could keep his own orgasm at bay with all the emotions running through him. He reached up to run his fingers through Ianto's hair, no longer thick and curly but much finer and soft; he nosed at his ears again, unable to resist them in a way that Jack knew surely bordered on a fetish. He was getting closer, he could feel it building at the base of his spine, but he tried to hold out, to wait for Ianto before succumbing to his release. "Ianto," he panted, his voice taut and gruff from moaning. "I love you..." he fell back against the bed as Ianto hit the right spot inside him to send sparks shooting up his spine.
It was the words more than the feel of Jack, tight and hot around him, that drove Ianto over the edge. He wailed Jack’s name, claws digging in to his lover’s shoulders, drawing blood as he lost control, thrust hard once, twice, and then slumped over Jack, chest heaving. He pulled his hand away from Jack’s shoulder, not even noticing the five small cuts in his shoulder as he slid his hand between them, wrapping his fingers around Jack’s cock.
“Love you too.” He breathed, lips against Jack’s as he stroked him, kissing him fiercely.
Jack pulled him into a fierce kiss, holding his head in place as he kissed him hard, his hips bucking up into Ianto's hands and moans spilling past his lips as he arched and came once more, covering their bellies and Ianto's hand. It took him awhile to come down from his high, his entire body shuddering and holding Ianto so desperately tight and close to him.
Slowly, his breathing returned to normal, Ianto resting snugly above him and it was both funny and heart breaking to feel Ianto's tongue slipping out against his skin, cleaning him off. It was so erotic but yet so cat-like that Jack didn't know whether to groan or to sob at it. "I'm going to miss you, my Ianto..." He said softly, eyes opening to watch his movements sadly, as if trying to commit them to memory.
Ianto closed his eyes, stilling as he tried to fight back the urge to cry and scream.
“Damn you, Jack.” He choked out, burying his face against Jack’s shoulder, trembling fiercely, trying to hold himself together. For a moment, he had forgotten. For a moment, it had just been him, and Jack, and everything had been fine. Sniffing gently, he caught the scent of blood, turning his head, eyes widening in horror as he spotted ten even cuts in Jack’s shoulders, perfect spacing for his claws.
“Oh God…” Pulling away from Jack, it was a struggle not to run away, out of the room. He curled his hands in on themselves, claws pricking his palms, a reminder of just what he’d done. What he could have done, if he’d got carried away.
"Ianto, no... Please," Jack curled around him, wrapping his arms around his lover and pulling him in tight. He hadn't meant to ruin the mood, to break Ianto, it had just slipped out accidentally. "Don't start pulling away from me now, not yet..." Jack swallowed what could easily have turned into a sob of his own as he turned and pulled Ianto to him, wrapping his limbs around the smaller man and just holding him as close as possible.
"Do you remember the first time we," Jack paused for a moment, wondering if it was too sappy to say what he was thinking before realising that it didn't matter. "First time we fucked Ianto?" He asked idly.
Ianto trembled in Jack’s arms, his hands cradled against his chest, claws turned inwards. He closed his eyes as he shuffled closer, nose pressed against Jack’s neck, cheek rubbing against warm skin. He nodded gently, ear twitching a little as Jack’s breath ruffled fine hairs.
“A-after the Beacons.” He breathed, frowning at the memory, the stench of blood and metal clogging his nose, the feel of that cleaver pressed against his throat. That was the first time he had realised he didn’t want to die. The first time he had felt something, anything, other than that horrible numbness, or just sheer pain at Lisa’s death. Jack had asked him why he had lied, about his last kiss, as he patched up Ianto’s wounds. Ianto had merely smiled, ducking his head.
“It’s not a kiss if there’s only one person participating…” He murmured, smiling a little again, at the memory. “Only you would see that as a challenge, Jack.” He laughed, the sound dying away far too quickly.
"Mmm, it is when you are looking at me like that. All spitfire and challenge in those eyes." He smiled and leaned down to slowly take Ianto's lips once more. This was a completely different kiss than that had been, that had been fierce and almost primal in it's need-- both parties desperate to prove their own existence, reaffirm they were still alive. This, this was different. It was slow and sweet and deep, so very deep, as Jack's tongue gently flicked out to taste and press against Ianto's before retreating to do it all over again.
Regardless of method, both were left breathless after both of them.
Ianto sighed softly, refusing to open his eyes, see the despair lurking in the depths of Jack’s gaze. He eased them both down against the sheets, curling up in Jack’s arms.
“…Hold me?” He murmured quietly, hint of pleading in his voice. “I just…I need…” He needed time, to remember this. To burn every moment of tonight into his brain, in the hopes that it would help. He wanted to feel Jack’s arms around him, fill his senses with the other man. He whispered a heartfelt thank you as Jack merely nodded, closing his eyes as lips brushed the top of his head, the tip of one ear.
Jack sighed softly and kept the younger man as close to him as possible. "For as long as you need me to..." He whispered, his own eyes refusing to close, wanting to burn this image, how it felt to hold his lover one last time, into his brain. Slowly, Ianto succumbed to sleep, his breathing even and deep but Jack refused to look away, taking this time to say goodbye to his lover.
On to Chapter Sixteen.