Music, market, love
Last night there was an open mic at Lost Valley. It was good--it brought a lot of people from outside the community, a couple of whom performed some great stuff. There's a culture here--actually, it's all over the place, but I've seen more of it in the Eugene area than I've ever seen before--of living differently than mainstream society. The parts of that that I've mostly sought out have to do with the more obvious aspects of sustainable living. But there's another part of it that I didn't anticipate and that's blowing me away: love. There's a culture here of treating people with unsuppressed warmth, with openness--of loving freely (not "free love"). I've felt it in my interactions with many of the people I've met since I've been here. I've heard it in some of the music, including some last night. Nobody is perfect, of course, but what a lot of people are aspiring to--and, as far as I can tell, doing pretty well at--feels right. It brightens the world.
That love isn't only directed toward other people, either. With it also comes a culture of strong people loving themselves. Of course loving other people is only fully possible when you love yourself, as is being a whole, healthy person, but our mainstream culture fails to teach us that. For many people, including me, it's hard to learn.
When there are opportunities to perform--like last night--I usually take them. Since I have music to share, it seems like the right thing to do, and there's a part of me that really wants people to hear my music and see me perform. I get terrible stage fright, though, and I spent all day being nervous (though fortunately I was also doing fun things). I played one of my songs on a synthesizer (this keyboard uses floppy disks for sound patches!) which I hadn't gotten to practice on much before, and I couldn't really tell how it sounded when I was playing and freaked out a little, but it went fine. I also played and sang my friend Allston's and my song "Lone Traveler Heart," which feels very different in four/five-part vocal harmony than it does as a solo accompanied by a synthesizer imitating an electric piano! And I joined Penelope and JohnBo in harmony on "Catch the Wind." It's funny--when I sing with people, I don't get that stage fright nearly so badly.
I keep learning that performing can be disappointing. It rarely goes as well as playing for myself or singing in rehearsal. And the part of me that wants people to hear me is rarely satisfied with the praise I get afterward. It's fine that part of me likes being onstage and likes acknowledgment from other people, but I keep being reminded that performance isn't what truly making music is about for me. Even while I'm performing, it's worth remembering to take the time to be centered enough to claim the performance for myself--to be present and enjoy it myself, not let its value depend on others' responses.
Yesterday was also the Saturday Market (which, as you might guess, happens every week for most of the year). It's an all-day farmers' market (there are also farmers' markets two other days of the week) and craft fair. Some of the plant and produce vendors practice permaculture. Some of the crafts are among the nicest handmade things I've ever seen--woodwork, pottery, clothing, and various other things. There's also more tie-dye and batik than I could have imagined! Any possible article of clothing or other object that could possibly be tie-dyed probably has been, and someone sells it at the Saturday Market. The whole market occupies several blocks, including some open spaces. There's a main stage where there's often good music, surrounded by all kinds of delicious prepared foods. Other musicians and performers set up all over. One square is an ongoing drum circle. All day people explore the market, enjoy the music and food, and lounge in the sun. I love it! And I had the pleasant surprise yesterday of running into Nathan, an acquaintance from Carleton. He grew up in Eugene, and he lives with my friend Robin in Portland. Somehow it never occurred to me that I might see him in Eugene. But the Saturday Market is certainly the place to run into people, as I've had many occasions to learn already, even given how few acquaintances I have in the area outside of Lost Valley!
The other highlight of the weekend was the Victor Wooten concert. (He's a bass player perhaps best known for playing with Bela Fleck and the Flecktones.) My words can't do him justice--he's incredibly talented. He played with two of his four brothers (Reggie and Joseph, for any Wooten fans) and a few other people, who were all also incredible musicians. Sometimes I literally couldn't believe my eyes--his fingers, and those of Reggie, the guitarist, moved so fast that I couldn't connect the sight of them with what I was hearing. When the songs had words, they were about topics like treating people with love and seeing God in them. The group's vibe matched the messages. After the concert I had the pleasure of shaking Victor's hand and expressing my appreciation for the concert, which is something I'm learning I like to do after a good concert. As a performer, I genuinely value others' appreciation. It brings me pleasure to give that to other performers--and, increasingly, anyone who I realize is doing things I appreciate.