Hello again! I'm back with more translations, and once again, thanks to
txorakeriak for hunting down sources for me and standing over me with a whip reminding me very sweetly to translate them. XD
First up, a little follow-up to our Lion King's hattrick at the weekend, in the 2-3 away victory against Rayo Vallecano.
As is customary in these situations, the hattrick-scorer gets to take the match ball home as a trophy of sorts, and his teammates normally sign it with all manner of congratulatory phrases and team in-jokes. Thanks to a
number of different articles, including this great
video from EITB, we know what a few of them wrote!
- From Ibai: “They’re well and truly fucked and then you go and steal a ball from them!”
- Amorebieta: “Five million Euros and done!” (referencing the current salary negotiations re: renewing Fer's contract)
- Susaeta: “And now to renew [his contract]... good luck Josu!”
- Toquero: “With a big head like that I’d score three, too!”
- Mikel San José: “And now, no dinner for you, since you already ate all of Vallecas!”
- Koi (I think): “May these three be the prelude to a propitious year."
- “1st hattrick in La Liga! It was about time!”
- “Three goals like pears!”
- “Don’t let it get lonely on your shelf!”
- “It was about time that you scored 3 goals, maki [machine]!”
- “Hey, Floris, I shit on...”
- “It was about time, dammit, you’re such a bad 9, I told you at halftime...”
Some of them were easier to read than others, and in the words of one person trying to puzzle their way through our boys' handwriting, "more than one of them could have been a doctor!" (I agree.)
Next up, a really great
article about this weekend's women's derby, which will pit our very own leonas against the Real Sociedad women's side, and which promises lots of excitement. It's also great to see such an in-depth article on women's football - more of this, please!
Women’s first-division derby at Lezama: "A day to feel proud"
Tzibi prepares for her 12th derby against La Real. A “special” and “competitive” match, but above all “really wonderful”.
For ten years now, Aitziber Juaristi, Tzibi, has defended the shirt of Athletic. A decade to which we must add the seasons during which she fought under the colors of Bizkerre, Leioa, and Sondika, making her the voice of experience. And making her a specialist in derbies, so it will not be in vain that she faces La Real for the twelfth time on Sunday.
A “special” match, something that doesn’t change over the years, although it has changed with “perspective. There’s a rivalry, fierce but very healthy, but for me it’s special because it’s so lovely.” There is no doubt that the competition is stiff. “La Real are normally super motivated and that’s normal, we’re the neighbors, we’re usually higher up in the table... if the situation were reversed, I would feel the same way, I’d say ‘but who do these girls over here think they are?’”, she jokes. “And here, among the younger girls, maybe you see more of that rivalry, but very very healthy because it really is a wonderful match,” she insists. And the derby has it all. “When all is said and done, we’re sisters. They’re our friends, we play together on the national team... To tell you the truth, what these matches really make me feel, is proud. Maybe it’s because of my age, but I look at the players on both of these teams and I think, ‘look how well they play’, I feel like a proud grandmother,” she smiles.
The setting adds the final touch “because on the day there’s ususally a great atmosphere, more people come than to other matches, and it even motivates us a little more, we want our fans to feel proud of the team.”
The motivation is especially welcome because if there is anything in which Athletic and La Real are comparable, it is precisely the psychological level. “It’s the hallmark of the two teams. The heritage, the spirit, the pride... In that sense, we’re very much alike, so in these matches, in addition to trying to play well, we have to apply ourselves even more than in other matches in that regard because in them, we’ve met our match.”
Growing fast
Although it is not the only virtue of a rival that Tzibi has seen grow rapidly over the years. “When they started they had good players, but they were very young and you could tell. Now many of those players are still with the team, who have grown with the team, and they’re also creating a lot of very good young footballers. They have a lot of quality and they also have that heritage and that pride that’s so characteristic of them.” On top of this, José Manuel Etxabe’s team is enjoying a very successful streak; they will come to Lezama having thrashed Valencia in Zubieta and defeated Atlético [de Madrid] in Cerro del Espino. However, in the opinion of the rojiblanca midfielder, “when a derby comes up, there’s no such thing as a good or a bad streak. It seems like a canned response, but it really is a different type of match, one in which the general situation of the two teams doesn’t really matter that much.”
And even less so now, because if La Real is coming into this match in the middle of a comeback, heading for fourth place [in the table], what can be said about Athletic, which is having one of the best seasons in their history? “I’d have to look at all the statistics, but it wouldn’t surprise me if this were our best season, because it’s really going excellently. And it’s not only a question of numbers, we’re also feeling really good, we’re playing well even though there’s been a weaker match or two, and in the dressing room we have a lot of desire [to win].”
The best
The one little problem is Barcelona, who are “unstoppable”. But it’s “like what our coach says, the good players don’t win, the best players win,” and at the moment, that’s the azulgranas.
Although the difference is minimal. And with Barça’s visit to Lezama still to come. It’s very important, of course, even though in Tzibi’s opinion it is not necessarily definitive. “All matches are not created equal, but they are all worth three points. And before we play that one we have a few that, having seen how they [Barça] are playing, we will also have to win in order to go into that match in the same position we’re in now. To tell you the truth, I would say that we’ll go into that game with the same three-point difference, and we’ll play for them in that match.”
The rojiblanca footballer doesn’t neglect to mention Espanyol, either, “they still have a lot to say. And we still have to play them.” And very soon, because Athletic are facing a complicated stretch of the calendar, with matches against La Real, Atlético, and Espanyol. Could it be decisive? Maybe, but Tzibi clings to the same speech. “They are all decisive and important. And it’s often said that you have to be more careful with the theoretically easier teams because that’s where Leagues are lost. What happens? They’re not lost in Barcelona or in Zubieta? If you want to fight for the title, and moreso seeing how the League is this year, all matches are important. You can win and lose the League at any of them. That’s why it’s best to always think that the most important match is the next one. It really is.”
And even more so in this case. Three points and the honor of winning the derby. Nothing to it.
And for anyone who's been following
@Toquero_theboss on Twitter, Gara recently ran a really great
interview with the as-yet-anonymous guy behind the account and the blog. (Which are hilarious, if you read Spanish. Highly recommended.)
“I’d never seen anyone so deserving of a stadium’s applause”
Marc: The man behind the unofficial Twitter account of Gaizka Toquero
He’s going crazy trying to get his hands on the green Athletic shirt with Toquero’s number 2 on the back. His name is Marc, he’s 20 years old, and he prefers to remain anonymous, precisely the opposite of his Twitter Toquero_theboss, which already has more than 60,000 followers. He’s a 3rd-year Journalism student, Catalán by birth and residence, and a “staunch supporter of Athletic”, but, above all, of Gaizka.
He’s confident that he can come [to Bilbao] this season to see an Athletic match live and, if possible, to meet his alter ego, Gaizka Toquero, in person. His unofficial Twitter account about the player has been a smashing success and very soon GARA will feature the unusual postmatch reports of the other Toquero.
Are you a fan of Athletic, or only of Toquero?
I’m a fan of Athletic and of Toquero in equal measures. And anyway, I can’t conceive of one without the other.
You’re Catalán and you live in Catalunya...
People from Bilbao are born wherever the fuck we want, right? Sorry about the swear-word, I was talking as though this were the Twitter of Toquero_theboss. I was born in Catalunya and I live there, and I feel very proud of that, although as a small child, wanting to achieve perfection, I decided to support Athletic. I was also influenced by the fact that my father and my grandfather are unconditional fans of Athletic, and we can’t forget that supporting Athletic is also coded in your DNA.
And why Toquero, how did that platonic relationship come about?
From the first matches I saw him play in, I was absolutely astonished by him; I had never before seen someone so deserving of a football stadium’s applause. With time, I also came to appreciate that technically speaking, he is a much better player than people think. A lot of people talk without ever having seen one of his matches in full, but, for example, few players can cross while running as precisely as Gaizka can, as he did [to assist] Llorente’s third goal against Rayo. It was a perfect “Toquerinha”, a cross to Llorente with pinpoint accuracy.
How did you get the idea to start an unofficial Twitter about him?
It was when I saw that, on Twitter, there were a lot of parodies of footballers. I thought that I, too, could create one to make people laugh, and the hardworking and admirable character of Gaizka Toquero was perfect for it.
And you’ve surpassed 60,000 followers already, many more even than Athletic’s own Twitter account! How are you taking it?
I try not to stray from my original objective: to laugh at myself and the whole footballing world, with the goal of making all of my followers laugh, too. The fact that I have so many followers can be seen in the number of critical and even insulting mentions that I receive, but there are many more that say that they love my profile and tell me to keep it up.
And what do you give them?
I think that the key has been to create a character around Toquero_theboss: a life philosophy that is always with him, a few catchphrases that he repeats, an irrational hatred of La Real, and I’d like to take advantage of this opportunity to clarify that this hatred belongs to the character, not to me! A series of things that have given shape to a unique character, distinct from all the other football parody accounts. Additionally, the fact that nobody is spared, I think that helps. I pick on La Real, Barça, Real Madrid, Atlético, and poor Llorente... and it seems that people like that.
And from there, you’re now making the leap to a blog, what will that add?
Well, after reaching 55,000 followers on Twitter, I thought it would be a good idea to start the blog, because sometimes 140 characters aren’t enough to contain all of the nonsense that comes to my mind, so a few days ago I decided to experiment with starting the blog -
http://toquerotheboss.wordpress.com - as an extension of the Twitter account. It’s going pretty well at the moment, in four days I’ve received more than 35,000 visits.
You say that the 2, the number on his shirt, is Toquero’s life philosophy... why?
Gaizka is a forward and he wears a number 2 shirt, which makes him unique, although now Arouna Koné of Levante has copied him. From the first moment, it was clear that that particular trait should be the trademark of Toquero_theboss, and that’s what led to the philosophy of “I wear the 2 on my back because above all I have two cojones”. It’s a slightly primitive philosophy, but it’s very funny.
Maradona has a religion, and I believe that a new one has just been born on your blog, one whose god is Toquero...
Of course, Toquerismo has been born. Maradona, the most cocaine-addicted “cosmic kite” in history has his own religion; Pele is adored by hundreds of thousands of impotent men around the world who believe that he shits Viagra... So, why do they have their religions and the all-powerful Toquero doesn’t? The full explanation is on my blog, but in broad terms, it is a religion which has Gaizka as its only god, and he rules the lives of his followers through his attitude on the pitch and a lot of humor.
What do you think of Marcelo Bielsa, since he’s deprived Gaizka of a starting spot?
I’d like to see Gaizka with more minutes on the playing field, it’s true, but that doesn’t mean that I don’t like Bielsa’s project. I love his way of setting out matches and the touch of exquisiteness that he has given to Athletic’s football. Nevertheless, I think that Gaizka could also contribute a lot in the position that Susaeta currently occupies in the starting eleven, even if it were only as a second option, given that his speed and his crosses would be very good for Llorente.
About his backheeled goal the other day... more than a few people said that it was like a horse-kick. Have you given this skill its own name yet, like the dribble or the bicycle-kick?
I baptized it as the “toquerazo” or “toquenazo”, whichever you prefer. And the people who said it was a horse-kick, really they’re very dumb, if you’ll excuse my repeating myself...
By the way, have you ever met him in person?
I wish! I know that in the Athletic dressing room they read my tweets and they have a good laugh, and even Gaizka himself said in a radio interview that he doesn’t mind the existence of a parody Twitter account in his name, and that he laughs at my nonsense too. I’m very proud of that, but really my dream is that, thanks to the crazy stuff that I write, one of these days I’ll have the opportunity to meet the great Gaizka Toquero.
Perhaps Gaizka will be decisive in the Cup semifinals. The Mirandés coach said before the last match against Espanyol that they needed “eleven Toqueros to get through the qualifying round”...
Legend! And even moreso because he has Pablo Infante on his team. More than eleven Toqueros, what a lot of teams need is for all eleven players to have the spirit of self-improvement and suffering that Gaizka has.
A prediction for this Tuesday in Miranda?
I’ll bet on a Mirandés 1 - Athletic 5, with three goals by Toquero, one by Llorente, and another by Amorebieta, and the token Mirandés goal by Pablo Infante... with an assist from Toquero.
And last but not least, an adorable story involving Marcelo Bielsa that was reported on Twitter by
Jon Laucirica, a journalist for Canal+ and Deportes Cuatro:
1 La Arboleda. Bizkaia. A group of boys are leaving school and they see Bielsa. They ask him to sign their sticker/card album and he says no.
2 He says no and asks them for the album, telling them to be in the same place at the same time the next day.
3 The next day, at the same time and place, Bielsa appears, with the albums having been signed by the entire Athletic squad.
4 To finish the tale of Bielsa and the stickers, in each album there was a ticket to see an Athletic match.
In conclusion, lots of adorable goings-on with all our leones! Hopefully you've enjoyed some of my rambles - apologies for the wall-o-text!
(P.S. Mods, could we get a tag for the lady-lions? I can't seem to find one...)