Being skinny
I have a strong desire to be skinny again. I mean, I often have this desire, but not often quite like this. I feel like I want to make John, my ex, hurt. No matter that I left him, and that hurts him already. I want to hurt him more. I know that being unheathy and weak will hurt him. If I was below 100lbs at christmas, he would notice.
I don't understand why I want this. I want health. I want to race next year. This is against all my goals. And I don't really want to hurt him, or do I? And if so, why? Because he hurt me for so long and I could do nothing?
I don't understand why I want this. I want health. I want to race next year. This is against all my goals. And I don't really want to hurt him, or do I? And if so, why? Because he hurt me for so long and I could do nothing?