Caught and innocent until proven crazy
I was trotting down the hallway, blissfully talking with Peter about our plans to skip (mine to go to the bookstore, his to go home), when we see SENORA.
Peter's like "oh no there she is!" so i try to run away but she sees me...
I approach her in the hallway, and as you all know, I am fully incapable of lying.
I tell her, "I can't go to class today. I have a doctor's appointment."
She peers at me and says "no you don't."
I reply "No I don't."
Then she says "You lied to me. I can't trust you again."
I'm like "But I wanna go to the bookstore! You're not even supposed to BE here right now!"
And she says "Well...let your conscience be your guide."
I reply, "I don't have a conscience. If I had one would I have lied to you just now?"
Well, then she tells me to go to my psychology class and have myself looked at.
I enter the psych class. We discussed "crazy people" today. Mr. Shea read off a list of traits of crazies and non-crazies, had us decide what was crazy and what wasn't, then compare it to the 4 rules of craziness, I guess.
So Paige says, "Emily is crazy."
Mr. Shea writes my name up on the board. "Okay, everyone. How is Emily crazy?"
Paige: She's unstable.
Mr. Shea: Unstable, good. (writes on board)
Noel: She has mood swings and delusions of grandeur.
Me: I have absolutely no delusions of grandeur.
Paige: She's on drugs.
Me: Goddammit Paige I'm not on drugs.
Jake: She laughs a lot. All the time. That seems crazy.
Mr. Shea: Laughing is crazy?
Jake: Well laughing for 4 days about a lightning plane...
Me: Haaaaaaaahahahhaa, lightning plane!!**
Mr. Shea: How about she lies to her Spanish teacher?
Paige: Sure, that works.
So, after they put up all of my supposed traits on the board, he compared it to the list of craziness.
"Does Emily's instability never show up in other teenagers?"
Class: not really....
Mr. Shea: "Do her mood swings seem atypical of teenagers?"
Class: Well...
So then Mr. Shea ends with, "Looks like she's not crazy after all."
I say "Thats right, I am in no way maladaptive to myself or those around me."
Paige says, "You are everytime you go in your car."
Me: "Well, there is that."
I see Senora walk by. "Hey Senora!" I yell. "Come in here for a sec! I'm not crazy! He put it up on the board!"
Senora walks in and looks at the board, where it says "Emily" with a whole list of my traits.
"Now, Senora," Mr. Shea says, "Have other students ever lied to you?"
Senora replies with "Well, yes."
Mr. Shea says, "So its not that unusual that Emily did too."
Senora does her weird glaring grin and says "I guess thats true."
"See, Senora? I'm not crazy!"
** Lightning plane: The other day we were discussing what was scarier, to die by lightning or plane crash. I said plane crash because lightning would be quicker; pretty much the whole class agreed. Then the convo went this way:
"What if you fell out of the plane?"
"What if you fell out of the plane and were hit by lightning?"
"What if you fell out, got hit by lightning, and then the plane landed on you?"
"What if you fell out of the plane, got hit by lightning, was still alive, eaten by a shark, and then the plane landed on the shark?"
Then Jake said THIS: "What if the plane was MADE of lightning?"
Well, I have a tendancy to day dream, so I didn't really register that until about 2 minutes after he said that. Then I started laughing and said, "What? That doesn't make sense." Then I laughed and laughed and just went into hysterics, cracking up for about 5 minutes as I have a tendency to do so. Then I would start laughing sparadically throughout the class. Ever since then, they make fun of me for it.
Peter's like "oh no there she is!" so i try to run away but she sees me...
I approach her in the hallway, and as you all know, I am fully incapable of lying.
I tell her, "I can't go to class today. I have a doctor's appointment."
She peers at me and says "no you don't."
I reply "No I don't."
Then she says "You lied to me. I can't trust you again."
I'm like "But I wanna go to the bookstore! You're not even supposed to BE here right now!"
And she says "Well...let your conscience be your guide."
I reply, "I don't have a conscience. If I had one would I have lied to you just now?"
Well, then she tells me to go to my psychology class and have myself looked at.
I enter the psych class. We discussed "crazy people" today. Mr. Shea read off a list of traits of crazies and non-crazies, had us decide what was crazy and what wasn't, then compare it to the 4 rules of craziness, I guess.
So Paige says, "Emily is crazy."
Mr. Shea writes my name up on the board. "Okay, everyone. How is Emily crazy?"
Paige: She's unstable.
Mr. Shea: Unstable, good. (writes on board)
Noel: She has mood swings and delusions of grandeur.
Me: I have absolutely no delusions of grandeur.
Paige: She's on drugs.
Me: Goddammit Paige I'm not on drugs.
Jake: She laughs a lot. All the time. That seems crazy.
Mr. Shea: Laughing is crazy?
Jake: Well laughing for 4 days about a lightning plane...
Me: Haaaaaaaahahahhaa, lightning plane!!**
Mr. Shea: How about she lies to her Spanish teacher?
Paige: Sure, that works.
So, after they put up all of my supposed traits on the board, he compared it to the list of craziness.
"Does Emily's instability never show up in other teenagers?"
Class: not really....
Mr. Shea: "Do her mood swings seem atypical of teenagers?"
Class: Well...
So then Mr. Shea ends with, "Looks like she's not crazy after all."
I say "Thats right, I am in no way maladaptive to myself or those around me."
Paige says, "You are everytime you go in your car."
Me: "Well, there is that."
I see Senora walk by. "Hey Senora!" I yell. "Come in here for a sec! I'm not crazy! He put it up on the board!"
Senora walks in and looks at the board, where it says "Emily" with a whole list of my traits.
"Now, Senora," Mr. Shea says, "Have other students ever lied to you?"
Senora replies with "Well, yes."
Mr. Shea says, "So its not that unusual that Emily did too."
Senora does her weird glaring grin and says "I guess thats true."
"See, Senora? I'm not crazy!"
** Lightning plane: The other day we were discussing what was scarier, to die by lightning or plane crash. I said plane crash because lightning would be quicker; pretty much the whole class agreed. Then the convo went this way:
"What if you fell out of the plane?"
"What if you fell out of the plane and were hit by lightning?"
"What if you fell out, got hit by lightning, and then the plane landed on you?"
"What if you fell out of the plane, got hit by lightning, was still alive, eaten by a shark, and then the plane landed on the shark?"
Then Jake said THIS: "What if the plane was MADE of lightning?"
Well, I have a tendancy to day dream, so I didn't really register that until about 2 minutes after he said that. Then I started laughing and said, "What? That doesn't make sense." Then I laughed and laughed and just went into hysterics, cracking up for about 5 minutes as I have a tendency to do so. Then I would start laughing sparadically throughout the class. Ever since then, they make fun of me for it.