Reflections on "More"
I stand center stage, air heaving in and out of my lungs to make up for the long blasted note that just faded away. I did it. I learned the most exhausting song I've ever had to perform, vocally and physically, in my career in three days. And then, utterly exhausted as I am, I realize I have no more will to keep the tears back and if I don't get off that stage I'm going to cry in front of everyone. I bolt backstage quickly enough that I manage to plunk into the dressing room chair before the sobbing begins.
A year of disappointment, of triumph. A year of unprofessionalism and three million dollar budgets. Of fantasy, France, and Sondheim. I wanted this to be a year of musical theater, and it truly has been the start, really the start, of that career.
And now, sprained ankle and all, barely recovered, through generosity of others time and shear force of will, I did it. The pain and relief floods through me. I did it. Even if they decide it's not good enough to go on, I don't give a fuck. I proved to myself I could.
They, of course, sent down the verdict through the stage manager. I'll go on next weekend.
The last three shows have all put me through the ringer, in each their own way. But throughout this I'm just glad I keep finding the strength in myself to press on in each show, in each song.
And to that I say: Something is better than nothing, yes. But nothing's better than more.
I'm ready for you, In The Heights. Game on.
A year of disappointment, of triumph. A year of unprofessionalism and three million dollar budgets. Of fantasy, France, and Sondheim. I wanted this to be a year of musical theater, and it truly has been the start, really the start, of that career.
And now, sprained ankle and all, barely recovered, through generosity of others time and shear force of will, I did it. The pain and relief floods through me. I did it. Even if they decide it's not good enough to go on, I don't give a fuck. I proved to myself I could.
They, of course, sent down the verdict through the stage manager. I'll go on next weekend.
The last three shows have all put me through the ringer, in each their own way. But throughout this I'm just glad I keep finding the strength in myself to press on in each show, in each song.
And to that I say: Something is better than nothing, yes. But nothing's better than more.
I'm ready for you, In The Heights. Game on.