never give up, i guess
today i was so close to really calling it quits.
i was looking around at the "gus macker" basketball fiasco, sitting there with my darling shanny, and thinking
"man, sebastian has really treated me awfully. why am i being so pathetic?
i can do this. look at all the guys here. i should just go find one that treats me with a little respect!"
and then i called sebastian
and asked if he wanted me to come over.
"i don't care. sure. come over"
well, it got better from that point on.
I'd been in his house only minutes before he kissed me.
we flirted, he jumped the gun on my need to catch up on this whole starwars phenomenon,
and he brought us out and paid for a rented version of the first made episode.
We were so loving and happy,
and he hardly had a moment where he pulled back.
we were US!
out of nowhere,
i had my old sebastian back!!
it was wonderful! so comfortable and right!
i feel so happy right now.
he went off to his work party, which obviously upset me a bit, since he spends every other hour with those people and not me, but he put so much energy into making our afternoon together worthwhile, that i can't be angry.
I came home, and david laverty said he too had rented starwars for me to watch - haha! - except he had the second episode - 5 - as well, so i just watched it with him.
i am.... HAPPY.
REAL.
...my parents put down my dog yesterday, the day after my great uncle's funeral(at which i was the only person under 40 at the monestary-like retreat in pickering), without even letting me know first. (she attacked another dog and we either had to pay a bunch of insurance or do it...)
It was a whirlwind of hurt, and when i thought sebastian wasn't caring about me when i called him last night,
which i now know he was,
i was really breaking down.
But today everything came together.
Sebastian was so upset about my dog - told me of his crazy intricate plans he had thought up to save her life before my parents gave in. He emailed me late last night about how upset he was that he lost my number while out last night.
He was so good to me...
And when i couldn't hang out with paulina because i wanted to be with sebastian, she was so understanding.
THANK-YOU PAULINA! i recognise your constant support of me!!
and shannon, your balence of reality/hugs has really helped me through. It's been so good to have you around.
good lord this is a rambling email.
"the force" has not been with me... until today, when, incredirightly, i was introduced to my new blazing love, luke skywalker.
Yes, i think things are starting to look up, up, and away.
i was looking around at the "gus macker" basketball fiasco, sitting there with my darling shanny, and thinking
"man, sebastian has really treated me awfully. why am i being so pathetic?
i can do this. look at all the guys here. i should just go find one that treats me with a little respect!"
and then i called sebastian
and asked if he wanted me to come over.
"i don't care. sure. come over"
well, it got better from that point on.
I'd been in his house only minutes before he kissed me.
we flirted, he jumped the gun on my need to catch up on this whole starwars phenomenon,
and he brought us out and paid for a rented version of the first made episode.
We were so loving and happy,
and he hardly had a moment where he pulled back.
we were US!
out of nowhere,
i had my old sebastian back!!
it was wonderful! so comfortable and right!
i feel so happy right now.
he went off to his work party, which obviously upset me a bit, since he spends every other hour with those people and not me, but he put so much energy into making our afternoon together worthwhile, that i can't be angry.
I came home, and david laverty said he too had rented starwars for me to watch - haha! - except he had the second episode - 5 - as well, so i just watched it with him.
i am.... HAPPY.
REAL.
...my parents put down my dog yesterday, the day after my great uncle's funeral(at which i was the only person under 40 at the monestary-like retreat in pickering), without even letting me know first. (she attacked another dog and we either had to pay a bunch of insurance or do it...)
It was a whirlwind of hurt, and when i thought sebastian wasn't caring about me when i called him last night,
which i now know he was,
i was really breaking down.
But today everything came together.
Sebastian was so upset about my dog - told me of his crazy intricate plans he had thought up to save her life before my parents gave in. He emailed me late last night about how upset he was that he lost my number while out last night.
He was so good to me...
And when i couldn't hang out with paulina because i wanted to be with sebastian, she was so understanding.
THANK-YOU PAULINA! i recognise your constant support of me!!
and shannon, your balence of reality/hugs has really helped me through. It's been so good to have you around.
good lord this is a rambling email.
"the force" has not been with me... until today, when, incredirightly, i was introduced to my new blazing love, luke skywalker.
Yes, i think things are starting to look up, up, and away.