Sleeping with your brother
This is without beta & my punctuation is worse than my spelling.....sorry. Don't know if I should continue this or not. I wrote it a long time ago cuz I miss the brother love :(
The first time Dean woke up with Sam crawling into his bed was when Sam was old enough to have a bed without rails. He didn't mind, of course, because being a big brother was all about protection, right? That included closet monsters and weird night time sounds. As the years and hotels rolled by, indistinct and grey and oh, so constant, the night time visits became less and less. Dean didn't really notice, and had to share a bed with Sam often enough that nighttime comfort wasn't really an issue anyway. It wasn't until after Dad had died, after Sam had died, after he had died, that Dean woke up one night to Sam crawling into his bed. He didn't move , and years of combat training kept his breathing even. Sam slid closer, slid close enough to tickle Dean's neck with his breath. Dean didn't move until he felt Sammy's breathing slow into the depths of sleep. He laid there and just listened to the sounds of cars passing by and the beating of his own heart until he was lulled back to sleep. He woke up the next morning with Sam curled up in his own bed, and Dean wondered if maybe he's just imagined it. The thought was immediately pushed far, far away before he could examine why he would want to imagine Sam sneaking into his bed while he slept. They spent the day researching a poltergiest wrecking havoc in a small town bookstore. Dean could almost touch the tension between his brother and him. It had been growing since he had found Sam and Ruby working on Sam's mental mojo skills. If he was honest with himself the tension had been there since Dean had come back.
That night he couldn't sleep, but he kept as still as possible. He had hunted long enough to know how to lay a trap. Finally, finally, at about 1:00 that morning he felt his mattress shift as Sam slowly eased under the covers and settled in beside him. Dean fell asleep to the easy rhythm of Sam's breath on his neck. The next morning he woke up to Sam making coffee. They spent the afternoon getting beaten up by the raging energy of a poltergiest, and the evening celebrating at Gene's Pub. Dean was too drunk that night to stay awake, and when he woke up the next morning to the sound of the shower the sense of loss was overwhelming.
The day was spent looking for new leads, new hunts, and the tension was so strong Dean felt like he was choking. They worked out their route and made the inane small talk that had clouded their days for weeks , until Dean just couldn't take it anymore. "Sam, why have you been sleeping with me?" Sam blinked. He blinked again. Turned a strange shade of crimson. "Www, uh, what?" Dean would've laughed if he wasn't struggling so hard to force himself to continue. " Sam, I know that you've been sleeping with me, beside me, and I just, um, well, why? " Sam studied him for a minute, cleared his throat and the words suddenly seemed to be coming faster than Sam could control them. " Dean, I'm sorry. I'm sorry, ok? It's just that I missed you. I missed you and I still miss you and, and I can't sleep because what if you fade away while I sleep or leave me cuz you think I'm a fucking freak, and what if I lose you again, and then you're gone and I am here and..." He stood up abruptly and went to fiddle with the coffee pot. "Sammy, hey. Do you really think I'd disappear on you? Fuck, man. I got brought back by an angel. I doubt you need to lose sleep over that. I'm not going anywhere. Shit, dude, I've always thought you were a freak. I didn't leave cuz you insisted on being a geekboy, mathalete, and I ain't leaving because you're a geekboy, mojo freak. So just, just don't..." Dean sighed as his words seemed to register with Sam. " Dude, don't get all freaking teary-eyed on me, ok?! This is not a chick flick moment." Sam nodded and looked up through his hair. " Hey, Dean? Does this mean I can't sleep with you anymore?"