All I wanted was some ice cream...
just one more vent for today, promise I'll be done soon.
Ice cream. All I was craving was that, and just some place that wasn't home. I asked my parents if I could go for a walk to get some ice cream (since I"M NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE). And I think you know what the answer was...
Mom didn't want me to leave the house, she was afraid I would get kidnapped on the 15 minute walk to the icecream store, cuz you know, Seaford is just sooo Dangerous. So I snuck out, figured I would deal with the consequence later (I might have actually killed someone if I didn't get out). Guess what, about half way there, my mom drives up behind me with her car screaming her head off to me in chinese. I did't really hear much of it, I was kinda going over stuff in those 10 secs inside my head. I could be the sweet, obliging daughter and just get in the car. I could yell back at her about how Im 19 and we live on LI where people don't just get abducted every day. I could keep walking. After a day of catering to my mother's every whim, like watching a britney spears special, fixing her coffee as she complained about her marriage, and just over all being her misery buddy all day, guess what I did? I broke out into a run. Thank god I've gotten in better shape. I knew those daily miles would pay off sometime. Maybe not quite in a car chase, much less with my mom being the driver. With her following me, still yelling chinese obsenities out the window, I kept running. I practically made it to the icecream store. it was in view, so close, why didn't I just keep going? I should have but then she suddenly stopped, disowned me, doomed my soul to hell, and sped the car away. Damn my conscience. Sometimes I wish I could just bottle it up, along with my sense of duty, honor, and integrity. It certainly does me no good here. And it just gets me in trouble or taken advantage of. Now that I've been to college, developed a backbone, and gained prospective, I just can't stay so complacent. Yet I don't have the courage either to just run forever and leave it all behind. Why can't I be heartless? Needless to say, I didn't get my ice cream. I didn't get my freedom. All I have is lousy existance here, where no one talks, no one laughs, no one lives.
Ice cream. All I was craving was that, and just some place that wasn't home. I asked my parents if I could go for a walk to get some ice cream (since I"M NOT ALLOWED TO DRIVE). And I think you know what the answer was...
Mom didn't want me to leave the house, she was afraid I would get kidnapped on the 15 minute walk to the icecream store, cuz you know, Seaford is just sooo Dangerous. So I snuck out, figured I would deal with the consequence later (I might have actually killed someone if I didn't get out). Guess what, about half way there, my mom drives up behind me with her car screaming her head off to me in chinese. I did't really hear much of it, I was kinda going over stuff in those 10 secs inside my head. I could be the sweet, obliging daughter and just get in the car. I could yell back at her about how Im 19 and we live on LI where people don't just get abducted every day. I could keep walking. After a day of catering to my mother's every whim, like watching a britney spears special, fixing her coffee as she complained about her marriage, and just over all being her misery buddy all day, guess what I did? I broke out into a run. Thank god I've gotten in better shape. I knew those daily miles would pay off sometime. Maybe not quite in a car chase, much less with my mom being the driver. With her following me, still yelling chinese obsenities out the window, I kept running. I practically made it to the icecream store. it was in view, so close, why didn't I just keep going? I should have but then she suddenly stopped, disowned me, doomed my soul to hell, and sped the car away. Damn my conscience. Sometimes I wish I could just bottle it up, along with my sense of duty, honor, and integrity. It certainly does me no good here. And it just gets me in trouble or taken advantage of. Now that I've been to college, developed a backbone, and gained prospective, I just can't stay so complacent. Yet I don't have the courage either to just run forever and leave it all behind. Why can't I be heartless? Needless to say, I didn't get my ice cream. I didn't get my freedom. All I have is lousy existance here, where no one talks, no one laughs, no one lives.