ello new yorK!!!
well, i've been gone for 3-4 days, and there is an awesome reason.
i went to kairos with my school. Kairos means "god's time" for non greeks, but me being greek, the direct translation means "time with god" - same dif. but anyway, i shall try to be as general as possible because i dont want to ruin possible kairos goers.
well, first day was a rollar coaster. we did this thing where slowly people began crying, and i wasnt balling, i just shed a few tears, but when i finally participated i cried, and they were there for me. it felt really good to see and feel everyone there for me.
second day was a lot less harsh. we all got a surprise and i shed a few tears during that one too. it really touched me in a good kind of way and i was soo happy to see more support and what people had to say.
third day, we did an awesome activity. we blindly found out what people thought of us, and it was good. i didnt know some things and some things i was like "What??? people think that i'm a good dancer????" especially seeing as i only danced once and i had to dance disco lol - that made me feel really nice.
what i got out of this is immesurable. i am soo happy i got the opportunity to go. this helped me in several things. it helped me know that i am never alone in my struggles, it help me see a better side in everyone, it made me realize i have to give people a chance, not to read them on their cover, that everyone has huge problems even though they dont wear it on their sleeve, and if i'm a brighter more positive person, than i will shed light on those around me.
i'm not a bible thumper now or anything, it just help me get back to myself and others, and not worry so much.
i will say i regret one thing. i cheated. there is supposed to be NO cell phones or watches, and i used my cell phone, and at times it did NOT help. at my house it is always hectic, and of course it will be even worse when i'm not there, and i got a call saying that some stuff was going down, and i got sooo pissed off. i was calling back during breaks, not relaxing, and what i was trying to get away from i had just brought back. i really do regret that.
i did make some calls to a certain person to confess something. i thought that they were so special and dear to me, they needed to know. so i called and confessed, and it was NOT easy. i really didnt know what to expect, but the last thing i expected was anger. but its out in the open now, they know and there's no cloud over my head anymore, and i'm happy.
we had a bonfire, that was really nice, we went on a ride where everyone got freaked the fuck out because the driver didnt know what she was doing, but dan knows cars so he saved the day. it was soo funny because only a few were in the truck's hatchback and the majority was on the wagon, and we were in the clear but they got whipped with tree branches. and when the car broke down, we could see the glow of coyote's eyes. yeah, that really freaked me out.
one of the nice things is waking up, getting coffee and going outside with lauren and just taking it all in. it was soo pretty, all those trees changing colors and losing their leaves. and it wasnt too hot or too cold, just the perfect kind of chilly.
i got THE COOLEST AND INUQIEST GIFT EVER!!! everyone got gift cards and candles, but i got a STUFFED CRAYON PILLOW!!!! it is so awesome.
playing pool with lauren was a lot of fun, just hanging out drinking a lot of coffee was fun.
didnt get much sleep. went to bed around 1:30 am and then woke up about 7 am, but i wouldnt feel tired right then, it would kick in around 4 or 5 and i'd want to take a nap or something.
several negative things came out of this. i really saw the true side of a friend of mine, and i didnt like it. its a recent friend and its just everything i hate. i'm not going into details, but i dont know what i'm going to do.
that and towards the end i just felt like "GET ME AWAY AND HOME!!!" mainly because i was with the same people for three days, not really a lot of alone time, it was raining and we were in it waiting for a train that wouldnt come for another 20 minutes, and people were yelling and getting annoying, and i just got a call from joe saying that i would have to go all the way home and that i basically couldnt go to the party, basically.
so i went home, declined the offer from awesome lauren to pick me up to go to the party. i figured it was a close friend kind of thing, and aidan and i are friends, just not as much as he is with them, and i felt like i would be intruding if i went. so instead, i came home and right away bob's like "LETS GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING!!!" keep in mind this is after getting pissed at everyone and i just wanted to curl up in my bed at home. sooo, we go to best buy, get disappointed, but get some things, and pizza, come back and chill and eat. that was nice, just like old days.
so here i am, up at 9:30 posting a blog. i thought i would REALLY sleep in, like until noon or something. meh
enjoy them apples
i went to kairos with my school. Kairos means "god's time" for non greeks, but me being greek, the direct translation means "time with god" - same dif. but anyway, i shall try to be as general as possible because i dont want to ruin possible kairos goers.
well, first day was a rollar coaster. we did this thing where slowly people began crying, and i wasnt balling, i just shed a few tears, but when i finally participated i cried, and they were there for me. it felt really good to see and feel everyone there for me.
second day was a lot less harsh. we all got a surprise and i shed a few tears during that one too. it really touched me in a good kind of way and i was soo happy to see more support and what people had to say.
third day, we did an awesome activity. we blindly found out what people thought of us, and it was good. i didnt know some things and some things i was like "What??? people think that i'm a good dancer????" especially seeing as i only danced once and i had to dance disco lol - that made me feel really nice.
what i got out of this is immesurable. i am soo happy i got the opportunity to go. this helped me in several things. it helped me know that i am never alone in my struggles, it help me see a better side in everyone, it made me realize i have to give people a chance, not to read them on their cover, that everyone has huge problems even though they dont wear it on their sleeve, and if i'm a brighter more positive person, than i will shed light on those around me.
i'm not a bible thumper now or anything, it just help me get back to myself and others, and not worry so much.
i will say i regret one thing. i cheated. there is supposed to be NO cell phones or watches, and i used my cell phone, and at times it did NOT help. at my house it is always hectic, and of course it will be even worse when i'm not there, and i got a call saying that some stuff was going down, and i got sooo pissed off. i was calling back during breaks, not relaxing, and what i was trying to get away from i had just brought back. i really do regret that.
i did make some calls to a certain person to confess something. i thought that they were so special and dear to me, they needed to know. so i called and confessed, and it was NOT easy. i really didnt know what to expect, but the last thing i expected was anger. but its out in the open now, they know and there's no cloud over my head anymore, and i'm happy.
we had a bonfire, that was really nice, we went on a ride where everyone got freaked the fuck out because the driver didnt know what she was doing, but dan knows cars so he saved the day. it was soo funny because only a few were in the truck's hatchback and the majority was on the wagon, and we were in the clear but they got whipped with tree branches. and when the car broke down, we could see the glow of coyote's eyes. yeah, that really freaked me out.
one of the nice things is waking up, getting coffee and going outside with lauren and just taking it all in. it was soo pretty, all those trees changing colors and losing their leaves. and it wasnt too hot or too cold, just the perfect kind of chilly.
i got THE COOLEST AND INUQIEST GIFT EVER!!! everyone got gift cards and candles, but i got a STUFFED CRAYON PILLOW!!!! it is so awesome.
playing pool with lauren was a lot of fun, just hanging out drinking a lot of coffee was fun.
didnt get much sleep. went to bed around 1:30 am and then woke up about 7 am, but i wouldnt feel tired right then, it would kick in around 4 or 5 and i'd want to take a nap or something.
several negative things came out of this. i really saw the true side of a friend of mine, and i didnt like it. its a recent friend and its just everything i hate. i'm not going into details, but i dont know what i'm going to do.
that and towards the end i just felt like "GET ME AWAY AND HOME!!!" mainly because i was with the same people for three days, not really a lot of alone time, it was raining and we were in it waiting for a train that wouldnt come for another 20 minutes, and people were yelling and getting annoying, and i just got a call from joe saying that i would have to go all the way home and that i basically couldnt go to the party, basically.
so i went home, declined the offer from awesome lauren to pick me up to go to the party. i figured it was a close friend kind of thing, and aidan and i are friends, just not as much as he is with them, and i felt like i would be intruding if i went. so instead, i came home and right away bob's like "LETS GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING!!!" keep in mind this is after getting pissed at everyone and i just wanted to curl up in my bed at home. sooo, we go to best buy, get disappointed, but get some things, and pizza, come back and chill and eat. that was nice, just like old days.
so here i am, up at 9:30 posting a blog. i thought i would REALLY sleep in, like until noon or something. meh
enjoy them apples