2012 and other movie disasters (spoilers)
Three hours of my life I will not get back. Three hours. I could have baked a cake, had a nice nap or plotted the destruction of whoever wrote that ghastly script.
Anyhow... If I can stop other people going by writing this then I will feel a little better.
So. Let's be fair. What is good about this film? Um. Well, there are some good special effects of Things Getting Blown Up and The World Ending. That is basically it.
What is bad? Lots. Oodles. Many. I'm going to pick out the ones that really annoyed me.
Portrayal of female characters - one day, one day, Hollywood writers will leave Hollywood and meet some Real Women. They will be scared, confused and intimidated. They will learn that actual women are just as varied and complex as men. They will learn (shockingly) that there are at least as many women in the world as men, if not a little bit more. They will learn that women talk about things that aren't babies or the men in their lives. They will learn that women are just as capable of doing the following things: driving, flying planes, saving people's lives, making stirring speeches, swimming underwater. They will learn that women do not automatically just scream and look helpless when people are in danger. Especially when those people are their own children*. They will learn that "femininity" is an optional aspect of being a woman. They will learn many other options of "being a woman" that are not covered by having breasts and a pretty face. They will learn that women are not merely empty vessels serving only as metaphors for empathy, "the family", the milk of human kindness. Women do not exist to prove that men are attractive, heroic and heterosexual, in fact, women still exist even when the men around them are ugly, cowardly or gay. They will learn that women do not do things just because of their dead fathers. Until that day, we get pathetic pappy female characters like the ones in this film who make me want to punch things.
America as normative - I'm not calling the film "racist" but.... It's an American film and that means that Americans are presented as the bestest. They get to have personalities and interesting interactions. When characters from "Not America" as I shall term this small ethnic grouping are present they are grossly stereotyped according to nationality / culture. The token Brit is an old white male in thick bottle specs who is a science expert of some description (but not as cool or dynamic as our cool and dynamic hero) and calls everyone "dear boy". The Russian guy is an evil oligarch ex-boxer. The chinese are seperated into "good" (Tibetan monk and his grandparents) and "bad" (representatives of the army). It wasn't a film about the End of The World. It was a film about The End of America (with some other people in it too).
Also, and I curse myself for not realising this, but kudos to kangeiko who did - Avatar is basically just a fancy-pants overly expensive re-make of FernGully. It also looks like it has post-colonial health warnings all over it (white officers leading helpless natives to victory, anyone?) I may be being cruel, but I haven't forgiven that man for Titanic - my grandfather worked on A Night To Remember, which is vastly superior in all respects.
* I rarely like to pull the "maternal instinct" card because it makes me shudder, but, for those women who choose to have children, I doubt that they would stand stock still when that child was in danger.
Anyhow... If I can stop other people going by writing this then I will feel a little better.
So. Let's be fair. What is good about this film? Um. Well, there are some good special effects of Things Getting Blown Up and The World Ending. That is basically it.
What is bad? Lots. Oodles. Many. I'm going to pick out the ones that really annoyed me.
Portrayal of female characters - one day, one day, Hollywood writers will leave Hollywood and meet some Real Women. They will be scared, confused and intimidated. They will learn that actual women are just as varied and complex as men. They will learn (shockingly) that there are at least as many women in the world as men, if not a little bit more. They will learn that women talk about things that aren't babies or the men in their lives. They will learn that women are just as capable of doing the following things: driving, flying planes, saving people's lives, making stirring speeches, swimming underwater. They will learn that women do not automatically just scream and look helpless when people are in danger. Especially when those people are their own children*. They will learn that "femininity" is an optional aspect of being a woman. They will learn many other options of "being a woman" that are not covered by having breasts and a pretty face. They will learn that women are not merely empty vessels serving only as metaphors for empathy, "the family", the milk of human kindness. Women do not exist to prove that men are attractive, heroic and heterosexual, in fact, women still exist even when the men around them are ugly, cowardly or gay. They will learn that women do not do things just because of their dead fathers. Until that day, we get pathetic pappy female characters like the ones in this film who make me want to punch things.
America as normative - I'm not calling the film "racist" but.... It's an American film and that means that Americans are presented as the bestest. They get to have personalities and interesting interactions. When characters from "Not America" as I shall term this small ethnic grouping are present they are grossly stereotyped according to nationality / culture. The token Brit is an old white male in thick bottle specs who is a science expert of some description (but not as cool or dynamic as our cool and dynamic hero) and calls everyone "dear boy". The Russian guy is an evil oligarch ex-boxer. The chinese are seperated into "good" (Tibetan monk and his grandparents) and "bad" (representatives of the army). It wasn't a film about the End of The World. It was a film about The End of America (with some other people in it too).
Also, and I curse myself for not realising this, but kudos to kangeiko who did - Avatar is basically just a fancy-pants overly expensive re-make of FernGully. It also looks like it has post-colonial health warnings all over it (white officers leading helpless natives to victory, anyone?) I may be being cruel, but I haven't forgiven that man for Titanic - my grandfather worked on A Night To Remember, which is vastly superior in all respects.
* I rarely like to pull the "maternal instinct" card because it makes me shudder, but, for those women who choose to have children, I doubt that they would stand stock still when that child was in danger.