Fainites
Are you sitting comfortably? Then I'll begin. Today, I want to share a word with you. It has come to my attention that not everyone knows about this word which I grew up with. It's a good word, with some good meanings. Pronounciation first - it's like "Cainites", but with an "f". Say it with me:
Fainites
There. Don't you feel a bit better already? You should. Right. Before meaning, derivation, because I am a word-nerd and that's how we roll. Sources (including those who consider it "unfathomable") consider it to stem from "fain" a word sadly missed and that I'm gunning for bringing back - along with "ruth" meaning "pity" or "compassion"*.
Anyhow, back to "fain", it means "willing" or "desirous" - particularly (though archaeic) in terms of expressing a preference for one thing over an other as in "I fain would go to the pub than to work." Other, similar meanings have it as a willingness to do something or to do something gladfully. (like "lief" - another word that the world is losing its grip upon). It's reckoned that we get it from the OE "faegen" as in "glad" and a part of my hindbrain wants to connect this with Dicken's character of Fagin from Oliver Twist. Because Dickens was like that with names. And because it would be deeply pleasing.
So, yes, "fainites" is about willingness. It's also about a preference for a better thing. I've heard it used (and so has Urban Dictionary) as a call for a truce in playgound games - perhaps similar to calling "barley".** But that's not the meaning I want to share with you. I want to give you the one that we used at home, when I was a kid***. It's for those times when there's been an argument or an upset. There's still a bit of a cloud in the air and one or both parties feel put upon and unhappy. Call "fainites" and shake hands or (better still) hug. It's not quite forgive and forget, because we recognise it happened and that there is still a difference of opinion, but we love each other and want to draw a line under it all. It's not quite "sorry" because there may be no need for an apology, or because we don't want to continue the blame game or work out who has to "give in".
We want to accept what has happened and learn from it, together. Because we are a family and live under the same roof. Because we are friends and are fond of each other. Because we work together and want to carry on doing so. Because we are adults who know that sometimes things spill, break or fall out of cupboards and you still have to pick up the pieces and get on with life afterwards. Because we all live on the same planet and it gets crowded when its full of unfinished and angry business. Because I don't want to go to bed upset, I want to sleep knowing that you and I are still ok, despite what was said.
So there you go. Fainites.
* Anyone who wishes can join in with this by attempting to insert both words into a sentence today. Probably not the same sentence though. Although kudos if you can.
** Oh come on, you know about this. Everyone knows they can't get you if you call "barley". I wonder if it works in office environments?
*** We still do, or rather my Mum and Dad do. Whenever he's done something wrong, I expect...
Fainites
There. Don't you feel a bit better already? You should. Right. Before meaning, derivation, because I am a word-nerd and that's how we roll. Sources (including those who consider it "unfathomable") consider it to stem from "fain" a word sadly missed and that I'm gunning for bringing back - along with "ruth" meaning "pity" or "compassion"*.
Anyhow, back to "fain", it means "willing" or "desirous" - particularly (though archaeic) in terms of expressing a preference for one thing over an other as in "I fain would go to the pub than to work." Other, similar meanings have it as a willingness to do something or to do something gladfully. (like "lief" - another word that the world is losing its grip upon). It's reckoned that we get it from the OE "faegen" as in "glad" and a part of my hindbrain wants to connect this with Dicken's character of Fagin from Oliver Twist. Because Dickens was like that with names. And because it would be deeply pleasing.
So, yes, "fainites" is about willingness. It's also about a preference for a better thing. I've heard it used (and so has Urban Dictionary) as a call for a truce in playgound games - perhaps similar to calling "barley".** But that's not the meaning I want to share with you. I want to give you the one that we used at home, when I was a kid***. It's for those times when there's been an argument or an upset. There's still a bit of a cloud in the air and one or both parties feel put upon and unhappy. Call "fainites" and shake hands or (better still) hug. It's not quite forgive and forget, because we recognise it happened and that there is still a difference of opinion, but we love each other and want to draw a line under it all. It's not quite "sorry" because there may be no need for an apology, or because we don't want to continue the blame game or work out who has to "give in".
We want to accept what has happened and learn from it, together. Because we are a family and live under the same roof. Because we are friends and are fond of each other. Because we work together and want to carry on doing so. Because we are adults who know that sometimes things spill, break or fall out of cupboards and you still have to pick up the pieces and get on with life afterwards. Because we all live on the same planet and it gets crowded when its full of unfinished and angry business. Because I don't want to go to bed upset, I want to sleep knowing that you and I are still ok, despite what was said.
So there you go. Fainites.
* Anyone who wishes can join in with this by attempting to insert both words into a sentence today. Probably not the same sentence though. Although kudos if you can.
** Oh come on, you know about this. Everyone knows they can't get you if you call "barley". I wonder if it works in office environments?
*** We still do, or rather my Mum and Dad do. Whenever he's done something wrong, I expect...